[BrokenNBeautiful]

I am slowly as you know learning how to feel good about myself and my sexuality/sex life.

I've been going thru some bad stuff lately and wondering if anyone here fears that a "God" is punishing them for sex or feeling good?

I still wonder if God is punishing me by making me go thru things like dental problems.

Thanks,

Billi

[El-ahrairah]

I think sex is natural and if there was a God he wouldn't create something he didn't want his children to do...

The God I believe in only punishes those who seek to hurt and destroy his children....

[Rhapsody]

I understand how you are feeling as I have gone through the same thing... and ten years later I must tell you that it is not God - He would never punish you for some thing He created.... it is the church people and or parents that told you that God would get you for having sex out side of marriage that are to blame for the fear you are having to deal with now simply because you are enjoying a God given pleasure.

[Beholden]

God gave us sex for pleasure.

[shezbut]

(((billi leli)))

I strongly relate to your thoughts and feelings on this topic. I have struggled with it for as long as I can recall. SA occurring early in my life is the probable culprit of thoughts like these. I think....?

Personally, I am a doubter. Despite my doubt in religion/s, I automatically carry shame and self-hate with sexual pleasure. Fear that he/she is looking down upon me with deep displeasure.

[venusss]

I always tell myself that God does not care for genocides, why would he care for one person's sexual life?

[BrokenNBeautiful]

ty, ppl.

Billi

Dental issues are caused by bad genes and sometimes a lack of good care. Your genes are inherited from your ancestors. Bad teeth are also caused by bacteria in your mouth that can be treated with brushing, flossing and mouthwash. If it's a lack of care, then you can do better on your own. Fortunately, regardless of the cause, teeth can be repaired and replaced. I sense that your dental issues are really a microcosm of the rest of the difficulties in your life.

Ever study Buddhism? The first rule is: LIFE IS SUFFERING. The second rule should be: "DEAL WITH IT!" But seriously, dealing with negative thoughts could really be the issue here.

You can blame god for your issues or, like a lot of people, you can pray to god for help in dealing with them. I've found the latter to be a lot more helpful.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

ty

B.

[Alexandria04]

Oh billi leli, do I ever relate to this! Not so much for actual sex because I am married, but (this is so embarrassing) because my husband is deployed to Iraq when I really get the "itch" I will masturbate. I always feel like it is wrong and that God is looking down on me with shame. Usually afterwords I cry, and then I usually vow never to do it again but in a month or so when I can't stand it anymore I will do it again and the cycle just repeats itself. I have had people tell me that it is not a sin, especially if it is helping me stay loyal to my husband and not go sleeping around with other people while he is gone. But I still feel so guilty and shameful that I don't know how it can not be a sin. My husband said it is just because we have been taught by our parents and society etc. that sex and sexual pleasure is a sin or shameful but that it's not. I don't know, I still feel horrible and guilty and shameful afterward though. I guess it could have something to do with either me believing it is a sin (whether it is or not) or the sexual abuse I went through as child, but I am not for sure. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and that I also feel this way.

[crystalrose]

^^^ masturbation isnt sinful. It is completley healthy and a good way to connect with your sexuality when your husband can't be there to connect with you in that way.

I worry that I am going to be punished in someway for having sex before I am married but I don't plan on getting married just because Christianity these days wants people to have a piece of paper.

I worry that when I have casual sex God will punish me, by me getting pregnant before I am ready for it.

[Shangrala]

Originally Posted by Alexandria04

Oh billi leli, do I ever relate to this! Not so much for actual sex because I am married, but (this is so embarrassing) because my husband is deployed to Iraq when I really get the "itch" I will masturbate. I always feel like it is wrong and that God is looking down on me with shame. Usually afterwords I cry, and then I usually vow never to do it again but in a month or so when I can't stand it anymore I will do it again and the cycle just repeats itself. I have had people tell me that it is not a sin, especially if it is helping me stay loyal to my husband and not go sleeping around with other people while he is gone. But I still feel so guilty and shameful that I don't know how it can not be a sin. My husband said it is just because we have been taught by our parents and society etc. that sex and sexual pleasure is a sin or shameful but that it's not. I don't know, I still feel horrible and guilty and shameful afterward though. I guess it could have something to do with either me believing it is a sin (whether it is or not) or the sexual abuse I went through as child, but I am not for sure. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and that I also feel this way.

There is nothing wrong with masturbation. Your body has urges, and you satisfy them...simple.
If you have a headache, you take something for it to release the cause of the pain. The pain is an urge your body is having, (despite it's a negative urge...it's an urge, nonetheless). Do you feel guilty for relieving yourself of the pain? Same applies to relieving yourself of the NATURAL urges for sexual release.

There should not be any relation of guilt with masturbation....

Shangrala

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I agree.

However, I was taught that sex is an expression of love and/or the way we procreate, not just an itch to scratch.

I agree about sex being a biological need.

I agree that masturbation is healthy.

But whenever I do it or have a fantasy, I feel guilty cause I feel like I am turning an expression of love and procreation into an expression of greed/lust.

Maybe tha'ts it...

ty,

Billi