[lxegirl]

I've been getting more depressed since i've been off my meds and my mom won't let me go back on them. I've been having sex with people cuz it makes me feel a little better, and my ex boyfriend is really upset about it, because i broke up with him because i was depressed and it wasnt fair for him. I've always had this idea that anyone i'd ever have sex with would be someone i love, but i'm not sticking to that rule now. I know its wrong but i honestly don't care anymore. I am being careful, i only have sex with guys i can trust...Should i stop even though i feel somewhat better about myself?

[einundzwanzig]

Sex is a temporary fix. It may make you feel less depressed now, but in my opinion, every person you sleep with takes a part of your dignity and self-respect away. The more you use sex as a temporary fix the more immune you will become to the effects it will have on your emotional health. Pretty soon, it will become so much a part of you that it will lose all its meaning. It will just be a physical act.

The reason I can say all this is because I've been there. I don't know how old you are, but I'm relatively young and know too well the damaging effects of numbing your depression with sex. It use to be a numbers game for me. It got to the point for me that I didn't even care who the guys were, as long as I got what I "needed" I was fine with it. I know you said you are protecting yourself and that's good, it's one of those things, if you're gonna have sex, at least your being responsible. I just don't want you to feel that you need to use sex as a drug to mask your depression. I want you to want what's best for yourself.

And why doesn't your mom want you back on the meds? This seems odd to me.

I wish you the best,
21

[Lexaproman]

Well the bigger issue is you are really being self destructive. The pleasure you are deriving is only fleeting and devoid of the feelings that are needed.

And your ex is a loser if all he is mad about is he wasn't getting into your pants and someone else.

He should be concerned about your well being and your health.

[einundzwanzig]

Bigger issue?? I'm pretty sure I explained that to her... I was just curious about the med situation.

Lexaproman seems to know what he is talking about... I admit I am not a professional in this area but I am going to school for it. All I really have to offer is my personal experiences.

Sorry, if what I said was invalid.

21

[Lexaproman]

@einundzwanzig - I wasn't taking issue with your post at all. The med situation should be addressed.

I just did not think, based on the comment that she was seeing things for what they are. I was picking up on your post of sex is a temp fix.

In fact if abused it is more harmful than good. People use self pleasure as logic as well if it feels good it can't be bad.

That's is ridiculous. Some say crack feels great and yet I highly doubt most of us would recommend that.

[einundzwanzig]

Agreed... people seem to have this mindset that if anything is pleasurable than it is automatically good..kinda what u touched on Lexaproman, but it's interesting to hear the justifications people make in order to excuse their (sexual) behavior.

I don't know, it makes me question the valididty of a "sexual addiction." But that should be discussed in a separate topic...

But yes, Lexaproman, I highly doubt people would recommend crack despite the short-term pleasure it may bring. Crack killz... although in some instances, sex could too ;/

[sugahorse1]

My first word of advice would be that it is a bad idea.
You are trying to fill a void in your life with sex. And sex is not there to fill a void, but rather to add extra pleasure.
You need to get to the bottom of your feelings and emotions and understand this void you are experiencing. A good T will help you; and to combat depression, I'd really recommend you take charge of your own life and get back onto meds. I'm sorry your mom is not in agreement with the idea, but it is your life, you deserve to be happy and have a quality life, and you need to make decision.
Obviously your age would be a factor in knowing if you are indeed able to make these decisions for yourself.

Every person you sleep with takes a part of your soul. In a way, you are bound for life. The relationship you have with these guys will be very different after you've had sex with them. Hence sex was initially intended as part of an intimate relationship.
If you can, please stop this behaviour and rather get to the root of the issue and start healing yourself in a healthy way.

I've been through both the depression, as well as the thoughtless sexual encounters. The depression is painful.
THe sexual encounters may make you feel better at the time, you may consider it an achievement, but a while down the line you will look back and feel bad about those decisions or even regret them.

Feel free to PM me any time - we're here to offer you support.

[Lexaproman]

Yes Suga brought us back full circle. You're looking for answers in the wrong area. This will just compound your issues not address them.

[lxegirl]

yeah, i'm only 16. my mom wont let me go on meds because she thinks it is a crutch. but my therapist says she thinks i have a chemical depression....i can't really do anything about it but try to ignore it.

[sugahorse1]

I don't think it's possible to just ignore your depression, especially if your T believes it is a chemical issue.
Maybe some of the health-care professionals on this forum can offer advice on how to go about for you to seek medical assistance as a minor.

[Lexaproman]

You can also encourage mom to do research. Not all meds are the same. Lithium for example is something your body makes and you may just be deficient.

Plus have you tried natural things for now?

[El-ahrairah]

you need to listen to your drs and not your mom, your mother is not a dr and is making your life worse.

Sex is a very risky thing when out of a committed relationship

[Lexaproman]

Plus mom should talk to your doctor with you so she can hear the value and importance of chemical balance.

And yes back to the original question. Your sex scenario is not helpful regardless of what your issue with your mom is.

[lxegirl]

thanks so much you guys

[Lexaproman]

Hopefully you at least know we are out there and concerned for one another.

[sugahorse1]

Please let us know how things work out. Take your mom with you to the doctor's appointment, and let her hear it straight from him

[lxegirl]

my mom doesnt wanna listen to the doctor or anyone. its ridiculous. I dont think i'm going on the meds unless i try to kill myself and survive.But that a whole other issue.

[sugahorse1]

Try get yourself admitted to hospital. No, I'm definitely NOT suggesting you hurt yourself. But you could always make up a story and threaten the hospital staff. Then the doctors can talk to you in private, adn treat you in provate.
No-one should be denied meds if they need them.

[Lexaproman]

Okay this is very thin ice but follow me here!

#1 - DO NOT HERSELF! IT IS NOT THE ANSWER AND YOU DESERVE BETTER
#2 - Tell your Doctor that you are so desperate, and you are, that youare having serious thoughts about hurting yourself or even suicidal thoughts and that you don't want these thoughts but you feel life is forcing your hand! All of which from what I am hearing is true.

A good Doctor will do what he deems necessary including admitting you even if for 72 hours. Also tell the Doctor of your mothers obstinance, which is more likely denial! He probably knows of ways to get her to hear him out!

Plus tell momma that you are not crazy in the sense she may fear and that mental disease is no different the diabetes. It is a chemical imbalance and it causes your disease. It is called a mood disorder. She is apparently not getting the reality.

[lxegirl]

yeah. i think my therapist is trying to get my moms approval-- i mean my mom is paying for everything. idk what else i should do. my mom complains about not wanting to deal with me because "I'm so dramatic" but she doesnt get it although i've explained it multiple times and my therapist has explained it to her. it's just bleh. my mom wont listen.

[Lexaproman]

Well I will tell you this and it may help a little.

Explain to your mother that the dramatic is also part of the illness. So if she wants the drama to end or subside some then she will try and look beyond her preconceived ideas.

And I would ask her why her medical diploma is not hanging on the wall!

[lxegirl]

haha i've already tried that

[Lexaproman]

Well what is her explanation? That you are simply creating these conditions, acting them out?

If someone were to do that much for attention they clearly would have a mental problem. Stopping in a temper tantrum is one thing but is she delusional?

Wow that is amazing.

[lxegirl]

she thinks I'm just over dramatizing everything. She just doesn't get it no matter how many times i tell her how i feel has nothing to do with her or anything else going on. I'm just over it.

[sugahorse1]

I think getting your T involved will be your best bet. Have you told your T about your thoughts?
Your T may end up involuntarily committing you, which in this case may not be such a bad idea, and you'd finally get the attention and meds you deserve
Please check in with us.