Am I the only one/ MayTrugger

Ever since I was little and after my real dad was out of the picture. I have always had these feelings for both sexes what I mean is I have always been straight and gone out with women, but I just could not help it when I would see a good looking guy and get those certain urges and feelings and sometimes an erection and then I would get sick to my stomach and just throw up. I know that I would never be with a man because it makes me sick to even think about it and I don't want to offend anyone either so if you are reading this please don't get offended. I am not sure what to do am I different was it my fault and why do I have these feelings and reactions. Sometimes I feel so ashamed I just want to just hide from the world. I know that I have never dealt with my past abuse or anything with the sexual abuse either but why do I feel so guilty am I the only one that has felt/feels this way is there anyone that understands please help me understand who I really am not sure.

Hi, it's probably not the same, but I kind of get what you wrote about.. I could never imagine myself with anyone, but sometimes I do get those urges with people and I ask myself, why am I feeling this way? Because I don't want to feel that way. I don't really know either. I'm guessing it's just hormones or something natural..

Whatever the reason, it's not your fault. I don't think it's really something abnormal or anything, I mean humans are sexual creatures and sexual thoughts or feelings are sometimes involuntary and hard to control. Also, a lot of times, a person can feel that he or she is 'the only one' because certain topics or issues seem weird or shameful and other people who experience the same thing don't want to or are ashamed to talk about it. I suppose something like therapy could help you understand yourself better, if you'd want to try. I have no experience with this though.

Although it's hard to control feelings, maybe you can control your reactions when you have these feelings, like try to distract yourself with something else? I'm sure there is more to you than just those urges. Maybe you can focus more on aspects about yourself which you are proud of, rather than on the guilt you feel, and this will make you feel better about yourself, which is what you deserve.

I haven`t been sick and do not have ...or do not remember...very direct reactions to my own sex as well - only when viewing women who are models or MTV singers ...you know how they are - but i would always get such feelings.

I used to think its because they remind me about myself.

I was abused too and i think it is important to deal with the abuse...it may be coming form there.

You are not sick MM You are uniquely you...that's all....~W~

[quote=MISERABLE ME;1544428]Ever since I was little and after my real dad was out of the picture. I have always had these feelings for both sexes what I mean is I have always been straight and gone out with women, but I just could not help it when I would see a good looking guy and get those certain urges . . .

Very early childhood experiences have a way of revisiting us later in life. My research is not complete yet but what you seem to suffer from is a narcissistic ideation. Once your father was off the scene you had to rely on yourself and, an image was formed in your mind of the ideal man ie., yourself! As you developed into a normal heterosexual person, occasionally you would see that internal image of yourself -a guy you admired or would like to be like, in fact one who you would like to have sex with - yourself. Many homosexuals have this self love as the core to their sexuality and take a partner who often is a mirror image of themselves- it is self love or masturbation taken to the extreme. An interesting by and by of this theory is dog lovers; take a walk around any dog show and see the amount of owners who look like their dogs. This narcissistic ideation has taken on a companionship role and not that of a sexual lover. I hope this helps to explain your feelings - blame the parents I say most of our **** was their fault Kind Regards Jasmine.