[hobbittmom]

Hi, normally I post in the DID forum but I wanted a little bit of help here.
I was born a hermaphrodite and was castrated at birth, and now I look like a woman. But, I don't like it. I think of myself as a boy and people don't believe I'm a hermaphrodite even though I have memories of being probed. How do you get people to understand? By the way, I think I'm gay but I don't know. I'm still gender confused.
Sorry,
Hobbittmom

[salukigirl]

It's natural for you to feel this way, I think. Do you know what form? There are a lot of different forms of "hermaphroditism". You think you're gay as a woman liking other women? Or you think your gay in that if you were to have a reassignment surgery you would be attracted to other men?

It's sad that parents have to make those decisions before a child is old enough to figure it out for their own. I remember reading a book when I was in high school. A boy was born in the 80s and the docs wanted to try out a new way of circumcision not using a scalpel but using some kind of laser or something to actually burn it off. Well, it went horribly wrong and ended up burning the little boy's penis and the parents made the decision to completely remove it and raise him as a girl. Eventually he came out that he felt like a man and had to go through the whole gender reassignment surgery.

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/e...cle/001669.htm

I'm sure by now you know all about it but I think the National Institute of Health is pretty unbiased when it comes to things like this. They might have more resources or links for communities for you to open up and talk to others feeling like you do.

I hope you can find someone to talk to about this. The people who are your true friends will understand and listen to you.

[lynn P.]

I think of myself as a boy and people don't believe I'm a hermaphrodite even though I have memories of being probed.

What people are you talking about -did your parents tell you about this procedure? I agree with salukigirl - I think they should leave hermaphrodites as they are until they can make their own decisions as adults...whether they want to choose one or stay as they are. Trouble is the parents are so confused and made to feel like they need to choose one or the other, which isn't fair to the child. Not everyone fits into a neat pretty box. Find a qualified doctor who deals with this specific medical issue. Sorry you're going through this.

[notz]

Hobbittmom,

No need to say sorry for bringing up your questions and feelings. It takes strength to take such things on and deal with them face to face. I congratulate you for your bravery!

notz

[hanners]

Originally Posted by hobbittmom

Hi, normally I post in the DID forum but I wanted a little bit of help here.
I was born a hermaphrodite and was castrated at birth, and now I look like a woman. But, I don't like it. I think of myself as a boy and people don't believe I'm a hermaphrodite even though I have memories of being probed. How do you get people to understand? By the way, I think I'm gay but I don't know. I'm still gender confused.
Sorry,
Hobbittmom

Well, I wasn't born physically ambiguous, but I have gone through transition (in my case, from male to female). It's a rough process sometimes, but it was worth it for me. Now I can't imagine ever going back, I am so happy with my body the way it is now. I could send you information on transition, and connect you with some trans guys for more info. PM me if you wish.

[rjdaws]

If you like, there's a forum dedicated primarily to transgender and transsexual people, but they have a lot to offer for anyone questioning their sexuality and gender. Just Google "Susan's Place", it will be the first hit. The people there are incredibly welcoming and friendly and offer loads of information on the subject of gender. (Sound familiar? )

The thing about people not believing you - well, it's understandable, albeit frustrating for you. I'm sure some people don't even know hermaphroditism/intersex is a real condition. It's simply because they aren't confronted with the condition until you tell them. And if you pass easily as a female-bodied person, they're even less likely to believe you. Many people probably have very crude images in their head of what a hermaprodite looks like.

As far as sexuality goes . . . sexuality is determined by the gender you identify as. If a person identifies as male and is attracted to other male-identifying people, he probably identifies as gay. Even if that man is biologically female or intersex.

If a person, identifies as neither or both male and female, determining one's sexuality can be complicated. I myself prefer to be gender-non-specific (I'm biologically female but I make a very manly woman and a very feminine man, so I've simply cast aside society's binary gender system and just started being me). I used to identify as lesbian as I'm mainly attracted to women but now, I just leave it simply as "I prefer women" as opposed to "I am gay/straight".

I hope this helps and if not, well, I pitched my two cents