[Sammy669]

Hello

My girlfriend really wanted to have a 3sum with another girl.

I told her I thought there should be rules (ie i wouldn't touch the girl). However, she refused to allow rules, saying she just wanted a normal 3sum.

At one point during the 3sum she didn't want to join in. Getting the other girl to climb on top of me. She continued to play with her and i a little below, but wasn't overly involved.

She later told me that she now thinks I cheated on her, and that she can never think the same of me.

What should I do?

She asked her friends about it and they all agree I'm an asshole. But I was only doing what I thought she wanted.

Any thoughts on this? I could really use impartial input.

Thanks;

S

a good sexual partner (e.g., girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband) should not force or coerce their partner to do something sexually that they do not want to do. yet, you went along. if your partner asks you to do something sexual that you don't want to do, say "no thanks." judging from the outcome of the 3sum, it appears there is a big problem with your relationship with your gf.

[Sammy669]

Originally Posted by unhappyguy

a good sexual partner (e.g., girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband) should not force or coerce their partner to do something sexually that they do not want to do. yet, you went along. if your partner asks you to do something sexual that you don't want to do, say "no thanks." judging from the outcome of the 3sum, it appears there is a big problem with your relationship with your gf.

I didn't say say I didn't want to. I was just trying to be careful that she would be ok with it.

Obviously I wasn't careful enough. But what can I say to her now, that will help?

[Yoda]

Whose idea was it initially? Who picked the other girl? If she specifically only wanted girl on girl she should have said so. I've been in a threesome before and I don't think you 'cheated' from what you posted. Sounds like maybe she was testing you to see if you would want another girl and that just is not fair to you.

[Flooded]

My guess is she's looking for an excuse to dump you.

[notz]

The problem with three-somes is someone always feels left out. If this is true for your girlfriend then I can understand that she feels as if she's been cheated on.

It's just a suggestion on my part, be gentle with her and reassure her that you are the only one for her. Expect some finger pointing but don't point back. Just remember you love her and be patient. The outcome may or may not be what you hope for but just do your part to honor her feelings.

[lynn P.]

Threesomes are very tricky and don't usually turn out, compared to what the participants fantasize or see in porn videos. In order for a threesome to work the couple needs to equally want this, be very secure and willing to give up jealousy/possessiveness.

It seems like your GF wanted this and she didn't want rules even though you did, therefore I don't think you should be blamed and called a cheater. I think a couple needs to be prepared for mixed feelings when its happening and she obviously was having this. She should have been honest and called a time out or agreed to the some rules as you suggested. Threesome rarely work as well as the videos depict. The only time it might work is, if all three are casual acquaintances where there's no emotional attachment. I don't think your GF can accuse you of cheating since she didn't want any rules - what were you supposed to do...be like a statue?

[coolbrees]

i def think she is not looking for a way to dump you, although if you could make her understand that you only did it cause she wanted to do it, you may still salvage your relationship
she may now think you want to sleep with other women, she could just be unsecure and she is lashing out because of it

[coolbrees]

she could now be thinking you want to sleep with other women, this could all be her being insecure about you
you need to reassure her you only want her