Masturbation

Pornography scene and thought associated maturbation. I need help & how do I handle it?
(Nb: am a christian & I've been abstain from sex cos am single but I think the natural urge is trying to find another channel of expression)

Are you struggling because you think masturbation is wrong because its a normal thing.

Lust is a sin, therefore masturbation is also a sin since it involves lust.

Enjoy abstaining from a completely natural experience

Abstaining from sex is not easy. It can lead to anxiety and stress. I have never found religious beliefs about sexuality to be accurate. I suggest you educate yourself about sexuality from non-religious sources. Hopefully, that will help you better understand your sexual needs and desires. All the best to you!

I agree with unhappy guy about mixing religion and sex. In fact masturbation actually helps a young person abstain from partnering up too early. Yes there's a preferred age to engage in partner sex because of ones maturity, but masturbation isn't a sin.

Here's how I interpret biblical sexual morality: back when the original Torah was written, fertility was a big issue. Society was primarily agricultural, so families survived by having lots of children so they could eventually help work the farms. This meant that it would make logical sense to prohibit any action that could lead to fewer children (celibacy, homosexual sex, masturbation, contraception, sex outside of marriage, or sexual acts that don't lead to copulation such as ejaculating on the outside of a partner), and if you look at the mitzvot, or Jewish law (which is what our current Christian moral standards for sex are based on), these rules are all mentioned.

However, times have changed now. We're no longer a primarily agrarian society, and our population continues to explode, to the point where it is no longer sustainable. We have approximately 7 billion people, and this doubles every 40 years. Already food is becoming more scarce due to having to feed far more people than we ever thought we would need to, and this is being reflected in food prices worldwide. We will probably hit a point sometime during my lifetime (I'm 28 right now) where our population will hit a critical mass and trigger mass starvations.

Over the centuries, Jewish law has evolved, even though the text has not. Judaism has historically encouraged careful study and interpretation of the texts, which is reflected in the mass of rabbinical texts that have accumulated over the past 5 millenia, beginning with the Talmud, but continuing on to modern times. A similar phenomenon has occurred in Christian thought, though it appears (to my mildly educated eye) to be less prominent.

Keeping this historical context in mind, I believe most of these sexual prohibitions no longer need apply, and indeed, should be discouraged as much as possible. The prohibition against sex outside of marriage still makes (some) sense to me, especially considering the high rate of transmission of STIs, particularly HIV, however by using contraception, that risk can be mitigated. The others don't make a whole lot of sense to me anymore. They don't cause any harm to people in the modern age.

Finally, the mitzvot (there are 613 of them!) are not strictly adhered to uniformly under Christian thought. For example, Christians are not obligated to keep Kosher in their diets, nor are they expected to keep the Sabbath, or to circumcise their male children (this is actually something that was meant to be specific to Jews, as it indicated a man's Covenant with G-d, as one of G-d's chosen people). While Jesus does talk about sexual morality, he never specifies what that involves. And this is the guy who defended prostitutes from judgement by others! Now, I'm not saying that by doing so, Jesus was permitting prostitution, but, I am saying that there is a lot of room for interpretation about what sexual morality entails under Christian thought. Certainly a lot more room than under Jewish law.

One last thing: This is just my personal interpretation. My religious/spiritual beliefs lean toward Judaism, though I am not (yet) Jewish myself. I was raised Christian, and then became part of a Jewish family for years (by way of a very significant other). I suppose that's given me a bit of a unique perspective. By the very nature of my argument leading to the idea that you should seek your own interpretation, I am not saying you need to believe in this interpretation. I only seek to outline one alternative interpretation, though I encourage you to find your own, whatever that may be. Good luck and best wishes on your continuing spiritual journey.

there is nothing wrong with masturbation, even if you use movie to do it. I do it almost everyday, sometimes twice a day. I dream of having a woman help me do it sometimes.

I don’t suppose I’m the most qualified person to answer this since I’m asexual and not subject to the same desires and stresses as other people, however I’ll have a go with my thoughts. Before anyone barks at me for giving suggestions on how to reduce a natural urge, I am both trying to help the OP and I personally believe that not all incidences of sexual urge are in need of response (as I will continue to address). If the OP does not desire to partake so often, such measures can aid in management of the situation, although to the OP I say that I very much doubt someone with the urges to begin with could eradicate their libido completely. Perhaps at best you can find yourself in a state where you feel more in control.

As I understand it, you wish to reduce or stop the frequency of masturbation, especially with regards to pornographic material?

Firstly, I’m not sure if you mean that you actually seek out pornography or that you are triggered by accidentally witnessing scenes or images of an amorous nature during everyday life. If the former, if you actually have some of that material close to hand (your own magazines or DVDs etc) then perhaps get rid of those in order to make it harder for yourself to gain access to it. Either way, when the thought to seek it appears or you find yourself sparked by such material, try to distract yourself, even if it is turning the channel to watch something more tame.

With distraction, it is best to act immediately so as not to allow yourself to accumulate and lose willpower to these desires. If you find yourself trying to indulge it, interrupt yourself and actually go and do something else rather than remain stationary. Do something that requires your brain to concentrate on the task, such as chores around the house or a project. If you can’t focus on something in the house without reverting to desires then go for a walk or run or go to the gym even, combining exercise and tiring yourself out with a situation where you can’t indulge yourself in public. I know for someone with mental illness, it can be hard to do either of these and people want you to do it all the time, but perhaps this can give you added reason and it’s good if you can manage it. I sometimes think that boredom is one reason why people might feel the need to masturbate a lot since they find they have time on their hands and their brain is more receptive to those internal niggles when it is not being stimulated.

I don’t know if you are male or female bodied, but another option is actually to go to the toilet. Yeah, sounds odd, but a full bladder can press against sensitive internal genitalia and make you feel aroused when you really just need to go. Might be worth a try.

You might also like to work out if there are other things that trigger you. For example, if you masturbate while in bed, you may train your brain to associate the bed with sexual urges and thereby cause yourself to feel more inclined every time you try to sleep. If something like this is the case, perhaps when you do need to indulge, find a place in the house you don’t visit often or spend a lot of time in so you can try to reduce the number of times this trigger is activated. Keep your bed for sleeping and your sofa for watching TV.

Just my thoughts for the moment.

I completely agree! I would have never lost my virginity as early as I did had I known how to masturbate and reach orgasm.

As a woman, I think it's shameful how sexually repressed women are expected to be or how little female sexuality is discussed in a non-pornographic sense. I didn't even know that women masturbated until I was 17. It would have saved me a lot of heartache and dealing with teenage hormones would have been a lot easier!
I really think we should be teaching our daughters and other women that it's okay to masturbate. I think it's healthy on so many different levels and would actually promote better decision making in young women.

I'll add to that, that women who masturbate have an easier time with orgasming, essentially because they've had a much easier time learning what works for them.

...and on that note, I think I need to masturbate more.

I think it is really sexy that a woman masturbates. It's a turn on for me. I think when she does it that it make sex afterwards more rewarding and powerful.

Try orgasming without mastrubation?

It *can* be done.

The only time I have ever been able to do that was while dreaming... nice way to wake up!

But seriously, I'd love to know how!

I don't see anything wrong with masturbating

Hanners that's an amazing critique you provided about the history of sexuality that commenced in Judaism thought. Wow! Christians (especially Catholics) need to get over the IRRATIONAL guilt about masturbation. Yes even today masturbation in Catholic doctrine is considered evil and a sin! It is so wrong that christian thought denouces such an activity. It goes totally against human needs and at the end of the day who is getting hurt from masturbation? Answer that my devout Christians? Or Jews? Without a partner masturbation does wonders in alleving stress and also for men cleanses out the prostate gland and may even prevent getting prostate cancer later in life! In todays' society so many people still have hang-ups about sexuality in general.

I started doing it when I was 3, but had no idea that was what I was doing until age 11 or so! LOL

I love the old song from the Monty Python's "Meaning of Life".

"Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate!
Let the heathens spill theirs, on the dusty ground.
God will make them pay for every sperm that can't be found."

I'm Catholic and I proudly masturbate and my wife and I have a happier love life for it.

There is nothing wrong with masturbation.....Unfortunetly its our religous background that has us thinking that its wrong.....