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Aardavak
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Default Mar 15, 2012 at 12:52 AM
  #1
I'm 18 years old & I've been in a state of constant debate whether I'm straight or bi- or gay. I haven't had any feelings towards men and don't have any now,yet when I tend to think about what it would be if were to be with a man,I surprisingly find myself in a state of doubt. I can't fully shake off such a thought and whenever anyone utters such a word as 'homo' or any other, I become extremely anxious and can't ignore any such thoughts and cant firmly say that i'm straight.It's not that i've hidden urges for being gay or bi, I want to be straight but I'm confused for no reason. I checked on the internet and found such symptoms to be that of OCD. Even my sanity score indicates strong borderline and OCD traits. However I want to have some practical tips about how to stop from overthinking about this gender debate and perhaps all the other things I foolishly waste time on each day. I can't escape no matter what,even if i want to right now. And personally am more attracted to girls though I've been in doubt even,about that recently. Please help me!!
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Default Mar 20, 2012 at 12:57 AM
  #2
When you meet the right person, you will know.

Good luck!

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411_emt
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Default Mar 27, 2012 at 07:38 AM
  #3
Why do you feel like you need to put your self in a little box with a tag on it? It is ok that you don't know, you don't have to put a sticker on your forhead that blairs a prefrence to the world. I just hope as you explore your feelings and relationships, you do so in a safe and healthy way. you don't have to box your self in and if you do decide that you are one way and change your mind you are free to change it. Its ok to have a little freedom and get to know who you are before figure out who you are in a relationship.
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lightningscar8
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Default Mar 27, 2012 at 11:19 PM
  #4
I have been going through a lot of debate the past year myself. I just kept getting more confused so I told myself to stop thinking about it. I have yet to be in a relationship so I really don't know but I have decidedthat labels are stupid and I just have to go with it. (That's why it says undefined as my status). Stop worrying and just enjoy, we'll find ourselves!

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Aardavak
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Default Mar 28, 2012 at 03:27 AM
  #5
Well thanks alot for all the replies! I realized that all these worries and fears were a result of my self doubts taking the better of me. It was not under-confidence but the constant state of self accusation(mainly related to my studies related issues) that caused this. I come over it after I realized that I had given my problems a lot more power over my life than I did.
It wasn't good but I've become stronger! For the record I realized that I'm straight as the fact that I WANTED and DESIRED to BE STRAIGHT and not that I should act like one for society itself proved to be the light in the darkness. I'm moving on in life now. all those who read my post and posted thnx...
just remember
THOUGH IN THE DARKNESS THE WAY OUT MAY NOT BE VISIBLE BECAUSE ITS DARK, YET THE ONE WHO WANTS TO SEE THE LIGHT SHALL FIND IT EVEN IF HE HAS TO CRAWL.
good luck.
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Lizzie B
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Default Mar 28, 2012 at 07:24 PM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aardavak View Post
I'm 18 years old & I've been in a state of constant debate whether I'm straight or bi- or gay. I haven't had any feelings towards men and don't have any now,yet when I tend to think about what it would be if were to be with a man,I surprisingly find myself in a state of doubt. I can't fully shake off such a thought and whenever anyone utters such a word as 'homo' or any other, I become extremely anxious and can't ignore any such thoughts and cant firmly say that i'm straight.It's not that i've hidden urges for being gay or bi, I want to be straight but I'm confused for no reason. I checked on the internet and found such symptoms to be that of OCD. Even my sanity score indicates strong borderline and OCD traits. However I want to have some practical tips about how to stop from overthinking about this gender debate and perhaps all the other things I foolishly waste time on each day. I can't escape no matter what,even if i want to right now. And personally am more attracted to girls though I've been in doubt even,about that recently. Please help me!!
I've heard many people your age say they are waiting until later in life to make a decision on sexual preferance. Enjoy your life believe me youth passes very quickly. I wish I had followed my gut re: crushes on woman before breaking under societal/family pressure and married a man.

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bighands
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Default Apr 02, 2012 at 02:05 PM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizzie B View Post
I've heard many people your age say they are waiting until later in life to make a decision on sexual preferance. Enjoy your life believe me youth passes very quickly. I wish I had followed my gut re: crushes on woman before breaking under societal/family pressure and married a man.
At 18 we barely know what kind of music, food, clothing you like. Start with the easy choices and let the tough ones fall into place on their own.
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