Sexual Identification (may be tmi, be warned)

Warning: May or may not be to much information in parts, so please be aware.

I recently posted a dream in the dream interpretation forum describing how in the dream instead of having sexual urges for a male (as is my usual) this time it was a female, and I remember saying in the dream that "I must be bisexual then."

Well, even if the dream was just some annoying way of saying something not so blunt or straightforward, it sparked the discussion in my head about my sexual orientation. This isn't the first time I thought about it, and I'm sure everyone has thought about their own sexual orientation in the past.

Througout highschool I questioned myself, questioned who I was really attracted to. I had not clue. So I decided then that i must be straight and just haven't seen or met the right person. Then for a period I thought I was asexual (friend thought I was too LOL, she didn't tell me that until recently though). I thought asexual because I never really tried for relationships and was a lot more interested in personality than looks (this is also the argument I used in highschool to consider bisexual).

However, I did have interest in males, but enjoyed my time a heck of a lot better with females. I do find both male and female bodies and personalities fascinating (but I still prefer personality).

I've tried a few relationships with guys, they always went sour (most recent being a little harder considering it was a guy I had a crush on and who had a crush on me). I always open up more with and get along better with females.

I"m not certain of my sexual orientation, I can look at both and like their looks, what they can offer, their personalities. I don't know if I"m straight, bisexual, or asexual.

How did anyone here determine what their sexual orientation is? If you can help me find the right questions to ask and think about, please do. I"m so uncertain. I tried something where instead of thinking of males during "arousal" I thought of females, it was the same outcome as always, but I don't know if that really determines anything.

Not sure if this helps or not, but I question my orientation at times too. I'm not the type of person that needs to label myself, but if I had to, I consider myself hetero-romantic bisexual. I fantasize about females but have only met one in real life that made me think "wow, she's hot" in a sexual sort of way. Most of the time when I fantasize about men, there is a female involved as well, but I connect better emotionally with men in real life. I can't see myself in a relationship with a woman. To me it is purely sexual. I think I could act on it if given the right opportunity, but I'm not actively seeking that opportunity. I have enough issues with having sex as it is, I don't need to make it more complicated for myself. No one in real life knows of my slight interest in women, but many people do wonder if I'm a lesbian (I'm not). I get held back from trying it out because I don't really want a relationship with a woman, and I've come to the realization that I'm comfortable with the idea of sex only within a committed relationship (not necessarily marriage, but a long term relationship).

I'm kinda the same way. It feels as if my sexuality fluctuates and its hard targeting what it is exactly. Now I've quit trying to label myself because it doesn't work, but when I have to I just say I'm queer. "Queer" now is an umbrella term used to describe anyone and everyone within a sexual minority, that includes bisexual,asexual,and like the second person described hetero-romantic bisexuals.