I love it but I'm so ashamed of it

I've recently come to terms with myself that, after making a post on here asking if I was gay or not, that I am not gay, but that I just love **** stimulation of myself.

So I decided to accept it. And with that, indulge in it. I've decided to expand my toy collection by adding some more dildos/vibrators to the couple standard penis looking ones I have. I came across something that some of you may have heard called a "rabbit vibrator". It's a standard vibrator with a little attachment on top that's meant to stimulate a woman's clitoris while it's inserted into the vagina. I found one in specific that has a head that swivels around and thrusts up and down. It looked very enticing. So I bought it. (It's pink by the way) That night I got it, I used it for hours upon hours. It felt simply AMAZING! I even laid there in bed with it still in me (vibrating and thrusting and all) and did my reading homework for one of my college classes. It just felt that good, I didn't want to take it out and put it away!

But last night, it dawned on me while I was using it..... I got this girly, pink sex toy in me, purpose built for a woman, but I'm using it. And enjoying it. I burst into tears because I was ashamed that I was enjoying it so much. And it made me feel less of a man

I've been so depressed the past couple days because of it. Besides feeling ashamed of it and less of a man, the question ran across my mind, how could I ever reveal this to someone, much less if I finally became intimate with a girl, how could I ever tell her I like using a thrusting rabbit vibrator, made for her, on myself because it feels amazing?

I've told a couple of girls that I became close with before about how I like **** stimulation and they just laughed at me and found it hilarious I get pleasure out of that. And called me a freak.

I don't know how to handle this. I'm so confused and lost about this new found part of me that I'm almost scared of myself now. Please, somebody help me

Let me ask you a very simple question: Do YOU think that gay men are lesser men than straight men because of what they enjoy sexually?

Just like there are plenty of gay men who are masculine, there are straight men who enjoy exploring themselves and are not considered feminine or sissies.

edit: Enjoying an-l sex does not mean you are less or more of anything. It means you have a fetish, and there are women like me who are dying to find a man who enjoys receiving an-l with a strap-on dildo. Because yes, I would love to show a man exactly why women love receiving an-l, and now you know why it feels so good.

If you'd like, I can message you the website of a BDSM social networking site where you can have a safe place to explore your sexuality (and trust me, there are a ton of guys on there who love an-l.) There are also BDSM hookup websites if you're looking for something more casual.

But there's nothing wrong with you. I'm currently searching for a guy who's into that as well as a relationship and it's definitely hard, but I'm really hoping to find a guy who's comfortable with his sexuality to experience that with.

I just read your note about telling people...don't. It's your body, your sex life, nobody else needs to know. No one else needs their approval of what you do. If there's one person you can trust with sharing that, and know that they won't judge you for it, fine, but really, they don't need to know that. That would be like telling my best friend I have a Nazi fetish when she's Jewish. There's a time and place for everything. The best person to confide about your fetishes is your therapist. They will not judge you, and even my T praised and welcomed my Nazi fetish. They'll listen to you and guide you.

Best of luck.

You know, I didn't think of it like that. Gay men are still men. Straight men are still men. Men are men, no matter what they enjoy.

And I'll take you up on those websites. Go ahead and PM me their URL's. I'd love to check them out.

And I guess I tell people because maybe I'm trying to understand why I like this. It's just awkward to me though because I grew up with a very vanilla mindset and I came to accept that things are either this way or that way. And that this is the standard and there is no other acceptable way of the order of things.

Exactly. It's all about perspective.

Online here and the website is the only place where I feel relatively safe to talk about my fetishes. I don't have a lot of friends, but I do let my bff know about what's going on with me because I know she won't judge and we talk about everything with each other even if we don't always agree.

Yeah, I'm not full vanilla, but I'm not full kinky either. I'm not even big on BDSM. It really all depends on your preferences and how you view things. An-l may or may not be kinky to you, but is to some. Don't let others persuade you to do or not do things, just do what feels right to you.

Hey there.

From what I've read in the past, it's not really as uncommon as you think, tbqh. Quick google search (do be mindful of phrasing if you're on a college connection) can dispel that notion. No need to feel guilty. What you like is what you like. As long as it doesn't hurt you or anyone else, it's all good.

Thank you for your words. They mean a lot to me

I've just been having a lot of trouble understanding myself lately. I was a victim of sexual abuse when I was younger and I'm sure it affected the growth of my sexuality as I've been growing up. I've always been scared to think about sexual things until these past few years. I think it'd be best to seek help and understanding with a therapist, but I don't have the time or money. I'd be nice to have someone to talk to about this stuff' but not everyone is nice enough to listen or provide insight.

Well, you know we're always here.

It would be great if you could talk to a therapist about it, for sure, but I certainly understand that time and money are factors. At any rate, as long as you don't overdo it (ie don't take on anything...er, you can't handle, so to speak. I'm sorry if the wording was blunt. I struggled with how to phrase that. ), I'd say this isn't anything to worry about. It's certainly not an indicator of you being "less of a man" or anything like that.

Haha, I understand what you mean by overdoing it. I know my limits though. I know when it's too much for me to take. (No pun intended)

And you're right. That's what this forum is for, anyways. To ask questions and talk about this stuff.

Bro my gf does me up the a s s all the time with a strapon, and I ain't gay. We both love the thought of her having her way with me. You,d be surprised at how many girls want to try this as well. Don't get me wrong we have incredible romantic sex too, but I love it when she dominates me. Anyway who says it should be only the guys that get to do the pounding. After all as you say it feels great.....don't be embarrassed or cry about it pal.

My first sexual gf after about a year just said to me really embarrassed 'can I do you with a strapon?' I was like hell yeah. A further point don't bring a girl back and pull out a dildomand ask her to put it in your bottom, start by you putting a finger in her bum, then asking her if she wants to do it back... Plant the seeds and reap the harvest. Anyways people have much worse fetishes like poo and animals or both be happy with who you are

Good luck

I agree, you're doing nothing wrong at all. Sorry for being so late to reply too.

There's a wonderful sketch by stand up comedy chap Steve Hughes "straight is the new gay" and its all about perception of gay & straight. I saw this man live a few times, very clever man and this was the section I always remember the most. I hope the link I put up works, if not, please do a youtube search. Hopefully it will make you smile.

Edit : its very rude with swear words, so will take the link down and let you search if ok!

Hi. I feel a little sheepish. Because this is kinda foreign t even be discussing sex w/ real live people. But there is no way to get over it but to just stick your foot out there and test the waters.

My H likes A**L stuff. He was ashamed eawrly on but has come to grips w/ the reality. It's his body and he can like what he likes. No one has the right to judge you for what you like. It's like pizza or steak. It's what you like.

My H and I explore things together and alone. But never outside of our marriage. So he likes a**l. Good for him. Our bodies are made for our enjoyment. If the good lord didn't want that to be enjoyed then he wouldn't have made that enjoyment possible now would he. I think more folks then you know likes that but just don't go around advertising. So koodo's to you for being brave enough to say something. It doesn't make you less of a man.