[siempre nada]

Is it strange that at this point in my life (I'm 20) that I would like to have casual sex with a stranger? I've never been in a relationship, been kissed or any of that, and I feel like my anxiety would get in the way of building a "proper" relationship. Relationships are complicated and messy, I just want to experience a kiss and being held and sex with another woman. I don't know if I should seek this or even how to go about it in a safe way. I just feel like anyone willing to hook up with a stranger would be at much higher risk for an STD. How would you go about arranging something like this?

[Harley47]

Hey there.

To answer your immediate question, no, it's not strange at all to want sex, especially if you've never done it. The stranger part might be a little unique, but if it makes you feel better, I often wonder about the same thing, though I've no desire to actually "make it happen" (so to speak) right now (I'm waiting for "the one" and all that before I make that commitment ). I don't think I'd be making an unsafe wager if I said you were less interested in the "stranger" part than you are the "wanting to be held" and the newness of it. Am I correct in hazarding that guess?

Anyway, I would tell you that in my experience, I've never heard anyone lamenting they "lost it" too late, but more than a few for too soon. I think you've plenty of time to establish a relationship you feel comfortable in before you do this. Ultimately though, it is your decision. I'm just speaking from the perspective of what I'd do, is all.

Speaking honestly, I have absolutely no clue how one would go about arranging it, so I can't quite help you with the details there. It's never really occurred to me to think of it as an arrangement...I've always just thought of it as something that sort of happens (either inside or outside a relationship). The only thing I can really think of as an arrangement is something like a personals ad on a website or something, but that, to me, strikes me as a gigantic risk. I'm concerned about the people you'd attract.

I don't quite know if your risk for STD would be "much" higher, but again, I am worried about the types you'll attract if you market yourself as looking solely for a sexual encounter, you know? At any rate, safe sex should be practiced to the absolute best (ie don't do it if you can't ) of your ability.

I do apologize I couldn't be of more help in the specifics to your question, and I hope I didn't seem like I was trying to impose my views or anything like that. I'm just worried about the potential risks to you, is all.

I wish you my very best.

Harley

[Edpsy77]

Originally Posted by siempre nada

Is it strange that at this point in my life (I'm 20) that I would like to have casual sex with a stranger? I've never been in a relationship, been kissed or any of that, and I feel like my anxiety would get in the way of building a "proper" relationship. Relationships are complicated and messy, I just want to experience a kiss and being held and sex with another woman. I don't know if I should seek this or even how to go about it in a safe way. I just feel like anyone willing to hook up with a stranger would be at much higher risk for an STD. How would you go about arranging something like this?

First off, I would suggest that you do not attempt to find casual sex with a stranger. It seems to me that you want to have a relationship and you may be hurt when the woman may not be interested in such a thing even if you had sex with her. Contrary to popular belief, there are women who just want to have casual sex. Lastly, you can risk an STD.

I sure hope people are not going to label you into 'the guy's can just want to have sex stereotype" and claim simply because your are a guy, you want to have casual sex. They should read your comments no differently than how they would read comments made by a woman with ulterior motive in regards to casual sex.

[siempre nada]

Originally Posted by Edpsy77

First off, I would suggest that you do not attempt to find casual sex with a stranger. It seems to me that you want to have a relationship and you may be hurt when the woman may not be interested in such a thing even if you had sex with her. Contrary to popular belief, there are women who just want to have casual sex. Lastly, you can risk an STD.

I sure hope people are not going to label you into 'the guy's can just want to have sex stereotype" and claim simply because your are a guy, you want to have casual sex. They should read your comments no differently than how they would read comments made by a woman with ulterior motive in regards to casual sex.

I wasn't interested in a relationship, it was moreso about the physical aspect of it. There's absolutely no way I could backtrack after having casual sex with someone and have a relationship. It would be only one meeting,and no strings attached. Really the STD thing was what bothered me the most, that and the fear of her physically endangering me in some way. And I didn't quite understand the second part. I am a woman seeking casual sex with another woman.

[siempre nada]

Originally Posted by Harley47

Hey there.

To answer your immediate question, no, it's not strange at all to want sex, especially if you've never done it. The stranger part might be a little unique, but if it makes you feel better, I often wonder about the same thing, though I've no desire to actually "make it happen" (so to speak) right now (I'm waiting for "the one" and all that before I make that commitment ). I don't think I'd be making an unsafe wager if I said you were less interested in the "stranger" part than you are the "wanting to be held" and the newness of it. Am I correct in hazarding that guess?

Anyway, I would tell you that in my experience, I've never heard anyone lamenting they "lost it" too late, but more than a few for too soon. I think you've plenty of time to establish a relationship you feel comfortable in before you do this. Ultimately though, it is your decision. I'm just speaking from the perspective of what I'd do, is all.

Speaking honestly, I have absolutely no clue how one would go about arranging it, so I can't quite help you with the details there. It's never really occurred to me to think of it as an arrangement...I've always just thought of it as something that sort of happens (either inside or outside a relationship). The only thing I can really think of as an arrangement is something like a personals ad on a website or something, but that, to me, strikes me as a gigantic risk. I'm concerned about the people you'd attract.

I don't quite know if your risk for STD would be "much" higher, but again, I am worried about the types you'll attract if you market yourself as looking solely for a sexual encounter, you know? At any rate, safe sex should be practiced to the absolute best (ie don't do it if you can't ) of your ability.

I do apologize I couldn't be of more help in the specifics to your question, and I hope I didn't seem like I was trying to impose my views or anything like that. I'm just worried about the potential risks to you, is all.

I wish you my very best.

Harley

Thanks for your response Harley47.I'm not really concerned about the idea of the proverbial "one" anymore. If anything I always picture being asked about my first and telling them I arranged it with a stranger. It just sounds bad I suppose. And you're right, the types I would attract would seem questionable (unless they're like me, which would be nice) Although the idea hasn't left my mind, perhaps I'll put it to the side for a while. Thanks again