I cannot tell when the guy comes

if you like a big ending tell the guy to pull out just before he comes, and shower you with white mice then you will no.

unprotected sex?

w hoa he had condom on while sex , this act is on the outer body not internal. plus if is in a relationship i asume they have both been tested.

No, it will continue as a parallel multiple partner situation. But I will thnik about. External contact.

Sorry you lost me there, EXPLAIN

'I have an aversion to touch. I just do not like it. I crave it and need it when I'm upset but don't ask for it or don't want it because I just don't want any part of it.'

It intruiges me how you both crave and detest being touched. I'm much the same. I always have a lust to be touched and cared for by people but at the same time it really creeps me out and I don't want it. Ive thought maybe I want it off some but not others, bit like you say about it being specific to adult males. But to be honest I'm not sure. My abuse was complicated and involved a number of different people, different ages and sexes. So I can't narrow it down. I think its more the mindset I'm in at the time. A bit like what you said about when you're upset, you crave being touched. When I feel shakey or scared and when I talk about my past SA I always find myself folding in on my self and I dont want any one to touch me. But sometimes I do, I want to be touched in a normal way and learn what this is like and that its fine. But its still very hard to know where the line sits.

Sorry this is a bit of an aside from the original post but it interested me.

I meant that I would think about implementing your proposal if it is possible to do so without getting his sperm into my mouth.

If you definitely like to be touched in a normal way without anything to trigger past SA, get a cat.

I especially like using the laptop on the floor and having the cats sit on my tush, back, and legs. I also like it when my cats wake me up in the morning to encourage me to fulfill my purpose in life (=give them breakfast). It feels much nicer than the horrible sound of the alarm.

That,s up to you , keep your mouth shut or tell him not to aim so high, It will solve your problem of knowing if he has come or not.

I told him that I am glad that I can actually tell from his breathing pattern, and he replied that I should be more egocentric and think about my own needs and showing him how to meet said needs better.

So very altruistic on his part.

cat on your tush??????????????// fleas in the forest

Indoor only. Plus, flea treatments.

forest ment you pubes, not outside. ugh a cat on your tush , dont tell any boyfriends or they will be out the door

I have solved this problem completely and am so happy!!!

The solution: a combination of communication, connecting, and... pot!

I talked to him and explained that it mattered to me. No, he did not need to create special effects, but I did want to know more about his process. So eventually, either I got better at observing his cues, or he started being more open in how he breathes, smiles, etc., throughout the process, or both, but it got better.

Enter pot which heightens my ability to perceive. As a side note, many years ago I had a lover who used pot, but not in my presence (back then I would have been horrified and appalled by having somebody use pot in my presence). He told me that he was able to hear music better while using pot. He loved music anyway, but when he used pot, he was able to hear the distinctions between sounds that were so close by that outside of a pot experience, the sounds were the same. I did not get and I do not have a musical ear at all, so I just did not understand his point, but was nonetheless fascinated.

So... it works! I perceive each sound, movement, breathing, everything with such keenness that yesterday I was able to tell when he came. I was just so happy. He does not understand why I am so happy, but to me it is sort of obvious - I mean, the guy is making love to me, and of course I want to know what he is feeling!

It also gives you a deal of control over him, if you want to bring him to completion with accuracy.

How? It is missionary position sex - I am not doing anything.

If you wanted to do something, then some form of manual stimulation would be the best way to control his orgasm. Now that you can read the signs you should be able to make him come with precision.

I do not think I see any value in controlling his experience so much. I do see your point, though - it might feel fun to be in charge of his experience so much, but I currently do not want it. I just want to be connected enough to follow him, but not to control him. Also, he seems to be perfectly happy (and talks about experiencing so much joy), and my general approach to life currently states that if things are not catastrophic, I do not want to intervene and make improvements.

I bet when he was young and masturbated a lot he was quiet about it so as not to advertise to the rest of the house what he was doing. Then when he started having sex he just kept doing what he was used to. You need to tell him it is OK to scream.

It is an interesting theory, but he is 47 years old and has 4 children with 2 women. He married the first woman when they were both in college. With this kind of a "tenure" having sex, I think whatever he is doing now is not a result of being afraid to wake up his parents .

Seriously, he told me that he does not want to be loud because it is not authentic to him - it would mean acting.

Since I am not into acting, I am now fine trying to pick up on subtle cues such as changing breathing patterns. I really am. Not everybody is loud.