OkCupid is too good, thanks DrSkipper

I have to review your posts to recall what made me assign the wrong gender to you. Again, I cannot do it using the phone.

So why do you think that professional pics from a few years back are bad? Have you changed a lot since?

Well, they were back when I was a teenager and I'm not sure if was legal back then or not (I don't really know the law very well as it doesn't matter to me anymore). And I had a completely different hair color.

If you have changed the color of your hair, you need new pics.

I have a more recent picture up and although it isn't professionally done, it's pretty good quality.

One person sent me a message (a guy though), but for all I know, he sent the same message to every girl he could find and I just responded to be polite. This was after about 30 views without any messages by other people.

To be honest, I wish we didn't have to put what our sexuality is, because I don't know. The only thing I could do is choose "bi" and block the guys, but then no one will message me unless it's something sarcastic. I just have no interest in any guys on there. Never have. But I also can't change my sexuality to "gay" because couldn't that be false advertising? It's not that I've never liked a guy ever...

Oh, I see. That IS a problem. I can tell you that I put straight because this is what I am and clearly have been since age three, but I was once contacted by a bi guy, last month, a private jet pilot. I did chat with him even though it was unsolicited.

Bi guys mean they like both girls and guys...there's not a personality or penis-length difference between bi guys and straight guys, so why would it be unsolicited? But I understand the idea of someone who is interested in women also be interested in men.

Should I just take the profile down then? I'm not sure what else to do. I'd start another thread but I'm pretty sure it would just go around in circles like everything that has to do with my sexuality.

I would put whoever I wanted to date, regardless of whoever I had feelings for; I was neither gay or straight, but I specifically wanted to date men, so I put straight to get the right attention.

There have been times where I contacted someone and they told me they didn't date bi women, even though I was looking to date a guy. So be careful of what you choose. If you are looking to date women only, put gay, so that way you don't get contacted by men when you're not interested in men at the moment.

That's a good point. But I've heard (and this could be false) that lesbians really don't like bi girls so if I'm not completely gay (if I say I'm gay) I'm afraid that they would be mad about that.

That and the whole I'm terrified to admit that I'm gay (or something close to it).

So you're having other people tell you who to be. That's not my choice to tell you you're orientation, and any decent gay girl can understand that not everyone is comfortable in their own skin.

Ok...I'm just going to change my orientation to "gay" on OkCupid and if anyone asks I'll just say I'm not really sure what I am, but have no interest in guys. It was actually bothering me a little that guys were looking at my profile. That probably sounds weird, but it feels like a stranger watching me change clothes or something. Although all the girls who have seen my profile go from bi to straight to bi to gay etc. are probably wondering what my problem is...oh well.

unsolicited meaning that I did not indicate in the profile that I solicit interest from. Bi guys. Such interest is novel to me. Yet, I do understand your point in that it is enough that I am a girl and his being a bi guy makes him interested in me as well, potentially. I must admit, the thought of being sexual with a guy who has been with guys makes me queasy but I might. Overcome it with time.

This is just an update for amusement purposes.

So I should probably amend my profile to add that besides dates I can be engaged for mental health support groups face to face.

This is because...

The guy who has written a book, on a third date, volunteered that he has depression and after many medications tried, seems to be doing well on Lexapro. I unwittingly provoked his disclosure. This is OK, depression is depression, he is exceedingly nice, I think I lucked out on him and I will go out with him again tomorrow.

Another guy, completely unprovoked, volunteered that he spent ten thousand dollars on nine months of therapy following the demise of his marriage... that lasted only eighteen months. This together with a few other things was a showstopper for me so I did not go on more dates with him. The only cool thing about him was his explaining of what the company he works for does. It develops drugs for diabetes and erectile dysfunction, and he said erectile dysfunction with such a straight face as if it were common cold. I liked that. But not everything else.

I have not had time to go on more food dates.

So far I am meeting with mental health consumers only, hundred percent.

That's great that you're getting so many dates!

I haven't been able to figure out how to get someone to even contact me yet. I'm still sort of on the fence about whether or not to keep the profile as it seems a waste of space.

It is OK, let the site worry about the server space.

I guess I meant it metaphorically, not literally. It seems silly to keep it up there (perhaps embarrassing even) if it's a complete failure of a profile.

See, before I thought that even though I had less activity on my profile than others, that in general there wasn't that much activity. Now I know that that isn't the case, so it leads me to believe that it may be pointless for someone like me to have a profile up there. But I think I've already deleted 2 or 3 profiles on OkCupid for the same reason.

The profile probably needs improvements.

I posted it half-jokingly but it has turned into truth...

The guy who has written a book sent me a description of a depressive episode yesterday. What happened to him on this weekend. " I fell into a light depression...I thought about you over the weekend, but I was too stuck on feeling down to call or anything."

Well...

To the extent that this is an apology for not contacting me over the weekend, of course, no problem. But I am not sure I want to be updated of every mood change... I generally come here to talk to people about their moods. I did not plan to use the dating site to extend my familiarity with people's moods...

Maybe that is great news that he is so open and maybe that is exactly what I needed to have happened to me, I am just saying that it is an unexpected development. Anyway, I will see him tonight.

Maybe you should remind him that you're not seeing him to discuss mental health, but maybe you should reconsider dating him if you're not interested in dating someone with mental health issues. I won't date anyone with mental health issues, it's too much drama to deal with.

I will see. He told me about this depression and that he could not determine its trigger. I told him that I had two two week anxiety episodes without ANY trigger but out of the blue. In 2012 and 2011. We did not discuss MH further.

I am afraid to rule out people with MH issues because it might severely reduce my range of options. It seems that everybody around here everybody has depression and anxiety as a rule. Whom will I date if I become so choosey?

I do rule out OCD clean freaks though, having included in the profile that I am a messy person.