Old issues... Lesbian?

I use to get super turned on by certain types of girl. I dressed like a boy sometimes and I had/have the BIGGEST crush on my best friend. I love her. I also like guys. But I'm currently terrified of men. So all I have left is women. I'm lonely and don't know what to do

Do you have a therapist?

Yes lots of men are jerks and you should be afraid of them but it's not good to live in fear of all men. But with that said if you get to a point where you aren't afraid of all men that doesn't mean you should date one of them.

It sounds like you at least have some bi-sexual leanings, I would suggest looking into a lesbian support group in your area if there is one. And talking to your therapist about this if you have one.

I read your post in R&C where you made a promise to yourself to never act on feeling attracted to girls. May I ask why?? Why are you being so rigid?

It's most likely a phase. Yes, it is possible to experiment with guys and girls and then decide later who you are truly attracted to.

For all of high school I fluctuated between bisexual and lesbian, but now that I am in college I realize I could never see myself having sex with women and prefer men, so now I find no attraction in women, though I dated, made out with, and found attraction to women. I don't see myself as neither gay nor straight, so I have no label currently.

Don't worry about labels so much but focus on who you want, what you like, and what makes you feel good.

I have rule I placed for myself in order to keep myself from messing up my life any more than it is. My parents would stop breathing if the knew anything. I can't have that. Bisexuality is a big NONO in my family. I would be shamed.

Well maybe later you will not need to worry so much about your parents' survival. When you are on your own.

I consider myself bisexual. I also just suddenly realized that I was also attracted to women - partially physically, but much more their emotional side.
I keep this part of me pretty hush and quiet, and am currently dating my boyfriend.
It's not easy to admit being bisexual or lesbian, but forcing yourself to be with a member of the opposite sex just because of your family, will destroy you.