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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,152
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Feb 20, 2013 at 07:18 AM
#1
Basically, I bought a vibrator around a month ago but I just haven't been in the mood to use it at all. I'm currently a virgin (not by choice) and have masturbated before (using my fingers) and thought it was about time I invested in a vibrator. I don't know why I am not "in the mood". I am now beginning to worry about if I were in a relationship and never felt in the mood? No one wants that in a partner. I think maybe this is all because I am depressed and anxious all the time but I don't see that changing anytime soon.
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 GirlOfManyFaces
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Member Since Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
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Feb 20, 2013 at 02:02 PM
#2
Depression and anxiety can do damage to the libido for sure. You need to find treatment for those.
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Grand Member
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: Oregon
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Feb 20, 2013 at 07:27 PM
#3
Anxiety and depression are not conducive to a strong sex drive. Also if you are on medications they can have an effect too, especially certain antidepressants. Sometimes I find that even when I do not feel in the mood, I cooperate with my husband anyway and all of a sudden I find myself responding pretty fast.
Sex drive like a lot of things has its ups and downs too. I would not worry too much about it right away, but rather focus on making friendships and developing healthy relationships. I suspect if you find the right person your drive will all of a sudden ignite |
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Location: Northern California
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Feb 20, 2013 at 09:37 PM
#4
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,152
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Feb 21, 2013 at 02:30 AM
#5
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,152
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Feb 21, 2013 at 02:31 AM
#6
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Location: Northern California
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Feb 21, 2013 at 11:11 AM
#7
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Grand Member
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: Oregon
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Feb 21, 2013 at 02:11 PM
#8
It is ok to be a virgin at 21. Virginity is not something to lose as fast as possible, I suspect if that was the case for you, you would have no problem finding willing volunteers. The bigger issue is what are you ready for and are you in a committed relationship. I learned the hard way that sex for the sake of sex was a terrible idea. Likewise your sexual desires tend to develop and grow in your 20's. What seemed like brutal and animal in my 20's and only a device to commandeer love, I have found that now that I am older and married to a man I love, intercourse is almost a sacred experience, something I crave, certainly enjoy, and treasure.
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Member Since Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
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Feb 21, 2013 at 07:23 PM
#9
It is actually quite good that you are sequencing in the following order: masturbation first, losing the virginity second. It is quite reasonable and no cause for concern.
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Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 1,275
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Feb 21, 2013 at 08:57 PM
#10
My sex drive is bad when I am depressed or stressed. I think it is quite common for that to happen. Anxiety and stress also decrease it for me. When I am happy, it goes back to normal.
I think when you find someone you want to be close with your sex drive will go up. Provided there isn't something else going on, like hormone levels, illness or past sexual abuse. You'll get the butterflies in your stomach and all the other stuff that goes along with being in love. __________________ "Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy." |
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