Is this what being transgender is?

Feb 26, 2013, 07:32 AM

I am female but have many male characteristics, like I enjoy woodwork, I like cars and tinkering with them. My T has a list of things I do and things my husband does and he pointed out I was more masculine and my husband more feminine. I also dislike dresses and wear jeans and my husbands shirts. I have no interest in making the house beautiful I like it functional. I try really hard to be as good as man in most things. But I still feel female or occasionally genderless and have no sexual interest in other women.

Is that transgender? Or do I need to feel male?

gismo · Feb 26, 2013, 07:43 AM

well i think personanally you are not transgender, you just feel comfatable doing and wearing guy things , your good at doing those guy things ,and with you not having sexual feelings towards females just spells it out, i prefer to wear baggy shirts and jeans and i do all the jobs around the house,plus sorting my car out and i dont fancy girls.... hope this helps

Feb 26, 2013, 08:36 AM

thanks gismo. I didn't think i was but T made such a big issue over it.

hamster-bamster · Feb 26, 2013, 02:36 PM

You are just a tomboy a bit, which is not transgender at all. It is just one way to be a female. Your T seems to be too obsessed with gender-specific behaviors and characteristics.

Rand. · Feb 26, 2013, 05:26 PM

Gender is a highly personal thing that honestly, only you can say. Your personal interests are simply that: personal interests. Human beings are incredibly diverse creatures. From what you've said so far, it sounds like your T might be making too big a deal of it.

I feel the need to comment on this, though:

Quote:

Originally Posted by gismo

and with you not having sexual feelings towards females just spells it out

Gender identity has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

Feb 26, 2013, 08:14 PM

Thanks all for this I really didn't think so but T's bought it up 4-5 times.

hamster-bamster · Feb 26, 2013, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

Thanks all for this I really didn't think so but T's bought it up 4-5 times.

I think the T needs to concentrate on your Bipolar, if you indeed have it, or other issues that exist in reality.

Feb 26, 2013, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

I think the T needs to concentrate on your Bipolar, if you indeed have it,

My Dx is not in doubt. Can I see your degree?

hamster-bamster · Feb 26, 2013, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

My Dx is not in doubt. Can I see your degree?

Mine is, after more than a dozen different psychiatrists agreed on it. But now it is in doubt. So everything is always in doubt.

-jimi- · Feb 26, 2013, 10:52 PM

If you feel like a woman, you are not TG. You can be pretty masculine but that doesn't make you TG. I know a post surgery FTM transsexual, and he very much likes women oriented tasks like cooking, raising his child and cute pets. Physically he was female. But he was TG since he felt inside he was not a girl. And never had been. Sexually he is bi, so no that doesn't have anything to do with it.

hamster-bamster · Feb 26, 2013, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

My Dx is not in doubt. Can I see your degree?

Also, your T is not being reasonable with attributing transgender to you, and if that same T dx'd you with bp, I would question that dx as well. You do not report anything extraordinary, yet your T mentioned the possibility of transgender to you 4-5 times. That is very weird. Hence, I would be a little cautious about believing other pronouncements of that particular T, regardless of the degree. A person can have a degree and lack common sense.

If a lot of other professionals agree with the dx and you personally agree with it, then bp is an issue and bp needs to be worked on in therapy, and your tinkering with cars should be left alone as a perfectly respectable hobby.

-jimi- · Feb 27, 2013, 07:14 PM

I thought doctors diagnosed, not therapists. Maybe it is different over here.

googley · Feb 27, 2013, 10:21 PM

In the US, people with MD (psychiatrists) can diagnose, but so can people with PhDs or MS, or MSW (master level clinicians. You do not have to have a PhD or and MD to diagnose. Though in every situation I have heard, a MD's diagnosis will out weigh a PhD or MS/MSW's diagnosis. So what they say goes.

And as for transgender, you must feel that you are in a body that does not align with how you feel internally to be transgender. And sexual orientation (who you are sexually attracted to) has nothing to do with gender identity (whether you feel male or female).

Nemo39122 · Feb 27, 2013, 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

I am female but have many male characteristics, like I enjoy woodwork, I like cars and tinkering with them. My T has a list of things I do and things my husband does and he pointed out I was more masculine and my husband more feminine. I also dislike dresses and wear jeans and my husbands shirts. I have no interest in making the house beautiful I like it functional. I try really hard to be as good as man in most things. But I still feel female or occasionally genderless and have no sexual interest in other women.

Is that transgender? Or do I need to feel male?

........ok, I'll put it this way.

Do you feel like you should have been born male instead?

Do you feel like you really are male, and that there's something wrong because your brain and body don't match?

Do you find it nearly impossible to wear feminine clothes and do very feminine things? Do you get very depressed before/during/after you do?

Does it bother you when people refer to you as "she"?

Do you ever want to just destroy your body?

That's more of what it means to be trans...what you posted is just stereotypical gender role BS that you managed to not get forced into somehow. Congrats. I really don't see how you could be transgender. You've just managed to avoid the girly girl princess mold.

Also, not being sexually attracted to women has nothing to do with it. Sexuality and gender identity are two completely different things.

hamster-bamster · Feb 27, 2013, 10:35 PM

Also, those stereotypes are not even universal. Traditional Scots (men) wore skirts. Plaid skirts. Look at the picture of Johannes Bach - he had a long hair wig. In this country, women wear more perfume than men do. In France, I have read, men consume more fragrances. Also in Scotland, traditional men used to knit. It is all very time-specific and country-specific. The French royal court had gentlemen wearing pomade on their hair. Etc. etc. Just disregard those silly stereotypes and be yourself.

Pandoren · Feb 27, 2013, 10:53 PM

Is it possible that your therapist is not trying to diagnose you as being transgender, but feels that the topic is something that hasn't been explored properly, that your reaction hasn't been adequate for them to believe you fully believe it or thinks that because you have (presumably) brought up the topic of your stereotypical male interests and thoughts that you yourself are bothered or puzzled by it? Have you given your therapist a clear and unmistakeable message that you have considered their opinion but you are not transgender?

hamster-bamster · Feb 28, 2013, 12:47 AM

I am thinking that TG is a label rather than a dx. Right?

Nemo39122 · Feb 28, 2013, 01:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

I am thinking that TG is a label rather than a dx. Right?

Transgender is a label, but Gender Identity Disorder is a diagnosis. They generally mean the same thing.

Pandoren · Feb 28, 2013, 10:14 AM

Well, you know what I meant.

Mar 07, 2013, 03:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pandoren

Is it possible that your therapist is not trying to diagnose you as being transgender, but feels that the topic is something that hasn't been explored properly, that your reaction hasn't been adequate for them to believe you fully believe it or thinks that because you have (presumably) brought up the topic of your stereotypical male interests and thoughts that you yourself are bothered or puzzled by it? Have you given your therapist a clear and unmistakeable message that you have considered their opinion but you are not transgender?

I think I might bring this up and shoot the elephant in the room.

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