[MoPo30]

I'm 29 and in a loyal, committed relationship with my boyfriend. We recently moved in together about 3 months ago. I moved out of my homestate to be with him. My boyfriend is an educated, funny, intelligent, loving, good natured guy - however - he lives with high levels of anxiety. He sees therapists, takes medication, keeps a journal and finds other ways to manage his anxiety. I'm empathetic about his struggle because I have a couple mental health issues of my own. We love each other deeply and want to get married in the next couple years, but his anxiety has gotten to a point where he can't perform sexually. He may become aroused, but immediately loses the erection within minutes. This has caused him A LOT of shame and embarrassment and me a lot of frustration. We've tried to "spice" things up, tried loosening up with drinks, even porn...but he just can't do it. I consider myself to be a highly sexual person and would like to have sex daily. We're at a point where we can have sex maybe once every 2-3 weeks. I'm afraid...we're just beginning our life together but I'm not sure this is going to work if we can't resolve it. I have to put a huge part of who I am on the backburner. Even though I realize this is an anxiety issue it's difficult to not take it personal when I touch his erection and he loses it a minute later. We knew this to occasionally happen in the beginning of our nearly 2 year relationship, but now it's gotten to an unbearable point and we're losing our passion and intimacy. What should we do? What outreach is there for men with performance anxiety issues?

[Travelinglady]

Hi! Well, the first thing I'm wondering is if he has talked to his therapist about this issue. Is it possible he is feeling really pressured? I'm sure he can tell your frustation, since you like to have a very active sexual life.

Could the two of you go to talk to a therapist together? Maybe even a sex therapist, if there's one available? You might have to use the approach where you have sex without intercourse for awhile until he can get more relaxed. (Perhaps a dildo might have to do for you during this time.)

Alas, I am sure that his anxiety is increasing even more with this issue. But it sounds like things were generally fine earlier. Could moving in together be making him feel more pressured? Just a thought.

At any rate, those are my ideas. Hope all will improve before too long.

[adam_k]

Anxiety and stress tend to have negative effects sexually for men. At least from my experience. I think it has to do with the body when you are stressed. I think high cortizal and anderline give you the fight or flight response and so the body isn't priming for sex, but ready to run or fight. People are fighting off mountain lions anymore but stress and anxiety trigger the same response.

One option to for him to find relaxing things to do to lower his anxiety.

It may he his medication affecting him. I was on Prozac a couple months ago and I could have sex, but it was very difficult to achieve orgasm. After an hour or so I gave up trying to finish. An our of sex isn't as pleasant as you think it will be.

You could also try Erectile dysfunction medication. They help increase blood flow and aid in mainaining an erection. They also aid and not cause an erectio so sex can still happen naturally. I have never taken them so I don't know how well they work.

You could also try physical things like penis pumps and cock rings. They work by trapping blood in the penis.

Best of luck to you. I think honest, open communication will help you in this matter. Sex can be difficult to talk about, but sometimes it helps to know what your partner wants. In long term releationahips we get into the trap of thinking our partner knows what we want and we never actually say it. Sometimes we have talk about it, even if we ourselves think it is obvious, our partners may not know.

[joshturner]

anxiety, stress, depression are the causes of erectile dysfunction in men. so that men are unable to get sufficient erection at the time of intercourse. your partner may use the Generic Viagra medicine which is anti-impotence drug. this drug is very popular amon impotence men.

[joshturner]

anxiety, stress, depression are the causes of erectile dysfunction in men. so that men are unable to get sufficient erection at the time of intercourse. your partner may use the Generic Viagra medicine which is anti-impotence drug. this drug is very popular amon impotence men.

[Big Mama]

hi. I take meds for depression and the meds I take seem to do a real number on my sex drive. It makes it disappear completely. The only advice I have for you is talk to the doc about medicine changes, Viagra maybe, (I have no experience there), or let him find other ways to please you.There are so many options for things he can do for you and such a variety of toys and such.

[The duke]

Hey, try and get him off the medications, u both need to see a sex therapist or maybe a psychiatrist Today . All the best..