[badgrammar24]

basically you can say im an addict, i plan on stopping because I want the real thing...since watching porn for so long side note I look at girls in public, but when i get the sense they are looking back at me I go into bipolar mode because I get angry at them saying to myself wheres your boyfriend or if you have one you should be with me.... or knowing that if she is interested in me because shes looking at me then im thinking to myself she has had other guys before me im sure of it a girl like that with boobs damn......and mainly because I did not feel good about myself back when I was in middle school because I was about say 240, now I weight about 175. guess I need bipolar meds so i wont feel bipolar when im around them...

[badgrammar24]

so sadly i did not get to experience the whole getting laid thing during prom

[jesusplay]

I've been watching porn since I was 12. I watch it everyday and i'm 22, doesn't make me or you an addict. Does watching tv every day make you addict? Sounds like BPD if you're anger is based off a response, but hey I'm not a doctor. No mention of mania, can't be bipolar.

[hamster-bamster]

There is nothing specifically bipolar in what you are describing. Congratulations on such a significant weight loss! Make sure to exercise not to gain pounds back. You should be ok. You will eventually do fine with girls. Boobs or no boobs, sure a girl might have had other guys before you, but so what? Prior experience does not hurt. I would not aim at stopping to watch porn. I would instead aim at increasing your RL chances by mingling with people, being physically active, reading about interesting things so that you can discuss them with girls, because while complimenting them on their boobs or other assets may be great, you need other conversation topics to carry on.

If you do all of those things, you will be too busy so you won't be watching porn to an excess.

Do not attribute your various reactions to bipolar without good cause. It does not help in any way.

[ultramar]

Originally Posted by badgrammar24

basically you can say im an addict, i plan on stopping because I want the real thing...since watching porn for so long side note I look at girls in public, but when i get the sense they are looking back at me I go into bipolar mode because I get angry at them saying to myself wheres your boyfriend or if you have one you should be with me.... or knowing that if she is interested in me because shes looking at me then im thinking to myself she has had other guys before me im sure of it a girl like that with boobs damn......and mainly because I did not feel good about myself back when I was in middle school because I was about say 240, now I weight about 175. guess I need bipolar meds so i wont feel bipolar when im around them...

I don't understand. What's bipolar about getting mad at girls you see in public because of these thoughts going through your head? Are you saying that your thoughts are delusional? If not, I really don't understand this post.

[badgrammar24]

Originally Posted by ultramar

I don't understand. What's bipolar about getting mad at girls you see in public because of these thoughts going through your head? Are you saying that your thoughts are delusional? If not, I really don't understand this post.

well say like how we all have are normal look face on, but then like i said when i get the sense they are looking at me I go into angry mode look...

[badgrammar24]

Originally Posted by ultramar

I don't understand. What's bipolar about getting mad at girls you see in public because of these thoughts going through your head? Are you saying that your thoughts are delusional? If not, I really don't understand this post.

so I cant really control that angry look on my face, so I feel like I need to take meds to control that look so I feel comfortable around every gender.

[hamster-bamster]

Do the pdoc and T know about the angry look?

[badgrammar24]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

Do the pdoc and T know about the angry look?

no but I obviously need to go to a pdoc and get some meds... the reason Im like that is because I be thinking negative thoughts like I be saying to my self they are probably saying stuff about me like to themselves like poor guy and such because im all by my self and such...

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by badgrammar24

no but I obviously need to go to a pdoc and get some meds... the reason Im like that is because I be thinking negative thoughts like I be saying to my self they are probably saying stuff about me like to themselves like poor guy and such because im all by my self and such...

Re the bold part:

Most likely they are thinking about their own stuff, their own problems and issues, etc. They are most likely not as nearly preoccupied with observing your look and interpreting what that look means as you suspect.

You need a T in addition to a pdoc, I think.

[badgrammar24]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

Re the bold part:

Most likely they are thinking about their own stuff, their own problems and issues, etc. They are most likely not as nearly preoccupied with observing your look and interpreting what that look means as you suspect.

You need a T in addition to a pdoc, I think.

whats T?

Originally Posted by badgrammar24

whats T?

A T is a Therapist

[badgrammar24]

Originally Posted by Buttercup..

A T is a Therapist

oh right I should have known.. is not that im gay, I only watch straight porn and lesbian and I do get a hard on from them.... but since watching porn for so long makes me feel ashamed of myself around girls. because they are not having sex with me... thats why im gonna try to stop watching porn.. if that does not help well then I guess I need some meds so I feel comfortable around everybody...

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by badgrammar24

oh right I should have known.. is not that im gay, I only watch straight porn and lesbian and I do get a hard on from them.... but since watching porn for so long makes me feel ashamed of myself around girls. because they are not having sex with me... thats why im gonna try to stop watching porn.. if that does not help well then I guess I need some meds so I feel comfortable around everybody...

Many people your age watch porn and yet are comfortable around girls, so I would suggest that you at least try to take their lead and example before you resort to attempting chemical modifications.

[DirtyDog04]

I can't say I'm the best person to give advice, but I definitely understand where you're coming from about getting angry around girls. I've even responded, "What the hell do want from me?" when she just wanted to dance. Also being nervous about what she's thinking, that I'm not good enough for her, that all the other guys around are better and more manly then me and I'm just an insecure psychotic looser. I've felt that way for a long time, so it's kind of ingrained into my head. I think part of it is a dominance thing. Sometimes I think I need to just let it go, approach a girl and talk to her like any other person.

I think these feelings are within the realm of normal, so I wouldn't get too worked up about it. Considering you're mood fluctuation is purely situational (it only happens around women you'd consider getting with), I agree that it's probably not bipolar. Keep in mind also that meds can kill you're sex drive, which may defeat the purpose in your case.

Oh, and I've also been watching porn since I was 12.