How to bring back passion

hamster-bamster · Jun 13, 2013 at 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by High Treason

When I wrote the above, I was talking about the actual sex part. I like a lot of foreplay before that. But yes, at this point I would take what I can get. If she just laid there reading a book with her legs spread at least it would be better than nothing.

But, that has already come up several times as well and there wasn't even a real discussion about it, just rejection. I may have to come to terms with the fact that she's just really selfish.

I am not sure it is selfish. She does not get anything of value for herself, so no selfishness. It is just irrational beyond belief.

Jun 13, 2013 at 03:08 PM

Right, this is difficult. From what you've posted it could be severe depression, but what was she like the first year of the realationship?

Because you say she doesn't leave the house hardly and has no hobbies or friends. She seems to have no sex drive either. Perhaps she could have schizoid personality traits? Also someone else made a good point that she could have been sexually abused a few years ago and it's effected her and she's kept it secret.

Either way you're not happy, so really when it comes down to it you need to put yourself first. If she isn't prepared to change or at least meet halfway, then maybe you should walk away.

hamster-bamster · Jun 13, 2013 at 06:11 PM

HT, I forgot - have you tried substances that might be disinhibiting (to some users and, of course, not all)?

High Treason · Jun 14, 2013 at 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycanthrope

what was she like the first year of the realationship?

During the first year, we went out a lot. We would go out with her friends or my friends, sometimes go out separately, but we'd be out a couple times a week or more. She was a really fun person to be around.

Not only did she want sex but wanted it frequently, often more than I did and I actually had to fake being into it every now and then to keep her satisfied. She was willing to experiment with fetishy stuff as well.

Basically, she used to be perfect.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycanthrope

she could have been sexually abused a few years ago and it's effected her and she's kept it secret.

While not impossible, this is highly unlikely. We moved in together after only a couple months of dating. I have a hard time imagining when such a think could have happened, but also the withdrawal was pretty gradual, not sudden.

@hamster: no we haven't tried that. I don't know if she would.

Jun 15, 2013 at 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by High Treason

During the first year, we went out a lot. We would go out with her friends or my friends, sometimes go out separately, but we'd be out a couple times a week or more. She was a really fun person to be around.

Not only did she want sex but wanted it frequently, often more than I did and I actually had to fake being into it every now and then to keep her satisfied. She was willing to experiment with fetishy stuff as well.

Basically, she used to be perfect.

Right, well it does seem like depression then. Have you spoke to her about this?

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hamster-bamster Account Suspended Member Since Sep 2011 Location: Northern California Posts: 14,805 (SuperPoster!) 13 3,729 hugs given	Jun 13, 2013 at 06:11 PM #43 HT, I forgot - have you tried substances that might be disinhibiting (to some users and, of course, not all)?
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