[MotownJohnny]

I've never exactly been Casanova or Don Juan anyway. I always had problems in this department, it was mainly a fluke I ever had any relationships at all, I was the pine from afar guy, frankly the few women I was involved with did the pursuing, and had many issues of their own. My first was an incest survivor, which was strange too, she had problems but also had a lot of good perspective through the pain and emotional health about the issue to a great degree. The last, the love of my life if only it could be, was married and too devout in her faith to consider divorce, was willing to have an affair but I couldn't go there.

So, IF and WHEN I feel like dating again, what in the H do I say about my state of MH? I know it's not something that would need to happen on the first few dates, but I think it's a pretty "big" thing, and it would have to be broached to be fair and honest. I am afraid it would be a deal breaker, or the other way, and I would be made a test case in someone's ability to "save" me from my own problems, and I gotta save myself to be healthy mentally. Certainly, it would have to come up before any intimacy -- I couldn't drop that bomb on someone after coming that close to them -- oh, by the way, I didn't tell you this before going to bed with you, but I'm being treated for mental illness. I'm too ethical for that.

So, how do you even begin to "go there" in that type of situation?

[gayleggg]

I have always been the upfront sort of person. I never had anyone back away because it. I don't think they believe it would have the impact on our lives as it does. My current husband knew all up front, but it was the stable side of me he met up with. He wasn't prepared for manic or depressed side. He just couldn't believe he couldn't fix me if any thing went wrong. He realizes now that he can't fix me. And he prays I'll never be manic again. Even though he hates the depression, I did much more damage to the relationship when I was manic. All this to say, tell them before they get to that "we can handle anything as long as we are together" stage. Because then they know not what they do.

[healingme4me]

I lucked out. Interest in psyche topics and mental health, was already out there...

Can discuss, as freely as either of us desire...

[unaluna]

I think the fact that you're worried about it means that you're not ready yet? I felt very weird about it a year or so ago; now I'm not feeling so strange. I'm still not ready, but I'm getting there.

[MotownJohnny]

Yup I am so not ready I wouldn't entangle someone else in this mess, not fair, and I'm not the kind of guy who is into casual one nighters.

[LadyShadow]

I never told my ex. I told him I had issues, and I get depressed but I never outted myself and said I was bipolar. I never really told anyone. Only my family knows.

It may be unfair for me to withhold that information, but I am in no position to get married anytime soon. I think I would have to tell my future husband. But after my last relationship I realized I just wasn't ready to be with anyone anymore. Maybe I am just doomed to be bipolar and alone. I don't know.

[SeekingZen]

MotownJohnny,
I would say once you know you want to continue dating someone, and you feel like you can let them in, tell the person what you feel comfortable disclosing. I wouldn't get too deep into the relationship before letting them in on your issue. If they're the right one, they will be OK w/ it, and you're right, they won't want to try to save you. Unfortunately, it takes some of us a while to figure that out, but it's a vital lesson to learn. When you feel ready, go out and try to meet someone. It gets harder the longer you wait. I regret not getting back out there after my ex and I got divorced. It's just so hard, but you just have to do it.

Best of luck & let us know how it goes!