Home Menu

Menu



advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Anonymous33015
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Attention Jun 29, 2013 at 12:33 AM
  #1
So a few years ago I had my first kiss but it was with a girl.
I grew strong feelings towards her and started becoming confused with my sexuality (I am a girl by the way).

I pretend i've never kissed anyone cause i'm ashamed but a few of my friends know about it cause she is one of my friends.

I think I might be Bi but the struggle is that I am Christian so part of my beliefs are man and woman should wed which is where I get confused again.

I know I won't marry a girl or anything but being gay is kind of a sin.

Please someone help me!
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
doggiedo

advertisement
LiteraryLark
Crowned "The Good Witch"
 
LiteraryLark's Avatar
 
Member Since Jun 2009
Location: Wonderland
Posts: 11,536 (SuperPoster!)
15
1,318 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 29, 2013 at 12:36 AM
  #2
It could be a phase. I went through a phase where I dated mostly girls in high school, but realized that what I'm looking for in a relationship can only be found with a guy.

But I felt real love, this wasn't experimenting, it was serious self-discovery.

You can only discover it for yourself. Yes, Christians believe in marriage between a man and a woman, but there are also plenty of Christians who support gay marriage and there are also such things as gay Christians.
LiteraryLark is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous33015
 
Thanks for this!
spondiferous, UnderTheRose
hamster-bamster
Account Suspended
 
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 14,805 (SuperPoster!)
13
3,729 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 29, 2013 at 10:05 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by EatsRainbows View Post
So a few years ago I had my first kiss but it was with a girl.
I grew strong feelings towards her and started becoming confused with my sexuality (I am a girl by the way).

I pretend i've never kissed anyone cause i'm ashamed but a few of my friends know about it cause she is one of my friends.

I think I might be Bi but the struggle is that I am Christian so part of my beliefs are man and woman should wed which is where I get confused again.

I know I won't marry a girl or anything but being gay is kind of a sin.

Please someone help me!
You seem to have several layers of confusion:

1) being gay cannot be a sin even in the most hard core Christianity because BEING is not ACTING. BEING somebody clearly cannot be a sin. I would suggest you think about this and spend some quality time with yourself thinking about it, because even if you eventually drop your Christian beliefs and even if you eventually stop thinking of "sins" (which do not exist anyway and are a construct, as Christian theologists would tell you anyway - they are a construct), the distinction between BEING and ACTING will still remain vital for you throughout your life.

2) "I think I might be Bi but the struggle is that I am Christian so part of my beliefs are man and woman should wed which is where I get confused again.

I know I won't marry a girl "

there is no issue or confusion for you here: you have a narrow belief that man and woman should wed; you do not plan to wed another woman; so you are staying within what you allow for yourself based on your belief. There is no conflict and no confusion.

3) "So a few years ago I had my first kiss but it was with a girl.
I grew strong feelings towards her and started becoming confused with my sexuality (I am a girl by the way)."

that sort of uncertainty appears to be fairly frequent among teenagers and may then continue into later life or may not; there does not appear to be much to do about it other than wait and see
hamster-bamster is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
spondiferous
Dancer in the Dark
 
spondiferous's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2012
Location: somewhere, i think.
Posts: 5,330
12
2,829 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 29, 2013 at 05:57 PM
  #4
My first kisses were with girls. Unfortunately these girls also got into supreme **** when their parents found out. One girl was forced to eat dish soap (we were in the fourth grade). Another girl had her nose broken (fifth grade), by her cousin no less. So I didn't get the greatest impression of same-sex kissing from the get-go, even though it didn't sway my own personal opinion that there was nothing wrong with it. I learned to suppress any feelings or instincts I may have had.
I am now 34. School days are long behind me, and I am in a relationship with another woman whom I am happily engaged to. I believe in many things, but I do not believe that any god would punish or condemn for being gay, or acting on it. I believe only people do that. However, your life is yours and yours alone. You have autonomy over your own body, your own choices, and if you ever find yourself in a place where your outsides conflict with your insides, I would suggest you reconsider how important those outside things are to you.
In terms of kissing and marriages...life is short. It sounds like you are still quite young, though you don't actually say. I wouldn't worry about it. Take life as it happens. Allow yourself what comes naturally to you. The greatest misery in life comes from trying to be that which we are not.

__________________
I kissed a girl & I liked it ..
spondiferous is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
hamster-bamster
 
Thanks for this!
doggiedo
Phreak
Veteran Member
 
Phreak's Avatar
 
Member Since Mar 2012
Posts: 734
12
184 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 30, 2013 at 04:03 AM
  #5
Was it the taste of her cherry chapp stick?
Phreak is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Mike_J
Infamous Vampire Duck
Community Liaison
 
Mike_J's Avatar
 
Member Since Dec 2009
Location: Mid West
Posts: 12,742 (SuperPoster!)
14
961 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 02, 2013 at 01:58 PM
  #6
No worries in my mind, I kissed a girl and I liked it too, though I'm a guy.

And not to get into a biblical debate, while the bible does mention a prohibition on men being with other men, I don't think it says anything about women and other women, but I could be very mistaken.

I wouldn't worry about it, give yourself some time to develop and see where your heart/mind leads you...

__________________
“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” Gandhi
Mike_J is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
UnderTheRose
Member
 
UnderTheRose's Avatar
 
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Earth
Posts: 258
11
85 hugs
given
Default Jul 03, 2013 at 12:44 AM
  #7
Christians follow the teachings of Jesus. He hung out with all sorts and p***** people off all over the place. He did things that other Jews NEVER would have EVER done.. and this was like... 2000 years ago. So, were he to be walking here now, and were he to hear your stress and unhappiness, he'd give you a pat on the back and say 'It's all about the Love' --- well at least in my eyes. And to all the gay clergy I know. (and I know quite a few)
My daughter dated her first girl last year.. she was quite sure she was bi. But -and not to triviliaze- but on Tumblr etc, EVERYONe's bi these days, so we weren't quite sure if it was for real or just a phase. We supported it either way though. She enjoyed the kissing and the playing, but when it came to the romance part, it was guys for her and that's where she's at now.
Me, i've made out with lots of my female friends. Had a lot of fun too, and were i not now married, (or had a more open minded husband) I'd probably still do it. BUT it's men that i WANT.. like in that 'romance' sort of way. Not sure if any of this makes sense but point is.. ((HUGS)) its okay. Just be you and do NOT be ashamed of the feelings you were born with. As long as it is consentual and informed (and no animals or children are involved) its pretty cool.
UnderTheRose is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply
attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:40 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.