[sonnenschein]

I'm an 18 year old girl; I've made out at parties and had a boyfriend once, but never gone all the way because I want my first time to be in a relationship with a guy who loves me (yeah, I know, I'm an optimist). It's just that I'm not really ready for a relationship now because I'm still struggling with some personal issues, but I'm afraid if I don't start to date soon it'll be really weird and awkward.

[Hong Kong Fluey]

OK, now i'm not a girl but I would say there is no age for anyone. That is a very personal decision and should be your decision only.

Wait until the man/moment is right for you, if that comes when you're 50 then so be bit. It's only peer pressure that tells us otherwise and that is complete nonsense.

Good luck cheekychops x

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by sonnenschein

I'm afraid if I don't start to date soon it'll be really weird and awkward.

Probably not actually. I'm a guy and was a virgin at 26 until I met my wife. There was definitely nothing weird or awkward about our first time together.

Besides, if you push just to get over being a virgin, then it really will be weird and awkward because you're motivation the first time will be all wrong. Enjoy your first time instead of worrying about getting past it.

[Inedible]

Back in 1950, there was an answer to this question. Now, it is just too complicated. There was a 96 year old woman in the news recently - I think that was her age - who just lost her virginity. It was odd enough to make the news, but overall it was still not considered bad. Just odd that she would go through with it at all after having waited so long.

It sounds like you know what you want. I think you shouldn't compromise. It is much nicer to get what you want and most people don't know what they want, even.

[hamster-bamster]

If you are asking about numbers in the perception of other people, then the answer appears to be 25, per OK Cupid. They have a question about whether one would date a virgin who is 25 or older. Since the questions on OK Cupid are:

- user-submitted, for sure (they say that)
- vetted by the editorial staff, probably (most likely)

and since OK Cupid has a multi-million user base, the question probably represents the general mentality/trend.

Not that it should matter very much to you, though - you have your own life to live and to make choices that do not necessarily match the normal distribution.

Well 18 isn't old. I think once it get's beyond 25 there are question marks.

[Harley47]

I don't think there's anything at all wrong with wanting your first time to be a special event, and I would encourage you to stick with that if you want that, and not to compromise. I don't think holding onto an ideal makes one "weird." Much of the pressure to lose one's virginity is simply a societal expectation, and nothing more.

lol That said, 96 might be toeing the line a little, but I don't think you're in danger of that.

[hamster-bamster]

If you are in the US:

depending upon your race, the probability that a girl your age would not have had her sexual debut by age 18 can be found on this graph:

PubMed Central, Fig. 1: Contraception. 2009 August; 80(2): 158–162. Published online 2009 April 23. doi: 10.1016/j.contraception.2009.02.014

it varies by race.

[sonnenschein]

Okay, I can live with ~40% (if I read the graph correctly, being caucasian).

Ain't nobody qualified to answer that question for you but you.

Period.

And ... Anyone who makes you feel weird and awkward about who you are isn't worthy of your companionship anyway ...

When you feel like you have yourself in a better place, you can always just date (in fact, I think that's probably pretty healthy, once you are ready) but not put any pressure on yourself to be sexually active. You'll know if you want to get THAT serious when "he" comes along, although sadly he probably won't have a crown on or be atop a white horse with a kingdom to rule...I know I wish it were that easy to figure out. Anyway, just have fun dating and meeting people (again, take the time to take care of yourself first), and don't put any pressure on yourself! And most of all, don't let anyone else pressure you, either!

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by sonnenschein

Okay, I can live with ~40% (if I read the graph correctly, being caucasian).

you did

I did suspect that you were white, and did hope that the 40% figure would assuage your fears!

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by sonnenschein

but I'm afraid if I don't start to date soon it'll be really weird and awkward.

For something to be really weird that awkward the way you fear it might be, that something needs be to some kind of a test - an exam - or a competition - in which you would have to perform, and might very well fail.

Anything can be made to feel as if it were a performance, including sex and dating, but it does not have to be made that way.

In fact, normally, that guy who will be your first one will be ... how should I put it? - well, REALLY happy to be with you. REALLY HAPPY. That is all there'd be to it - he'd be really happy, really excited, etc. lots of really positive things. So it won't be a performance for which you'd be unprepared.