It's not easy being kinky (just ask a fetishist)

I'm fed up with people (on forums here and elsewhere) attacking my fetish, so I wrote this on a BDSM website and hope this can provide some answers. I will answer questions if they are polite.

It's not easy being kinky. People into BDSM like to eat feces (scat play) and wear diapers. It's understandable. Whatever floats your boat, right? However, not all fetishes are equal. There are some that you'd never consider because it pushes your limits, and then there are some that pushes your morals.

I have a Nazi fetish. It's something I've struggled with since I was 14, but now I've accepted it as a part of my secret lifestyle and I enjoy it. I thought being anonymous would make my secret life easier, but I find that I have to hide myself from strangers or else face the endless opinionated, "The Nazis are evil, change your fetish" statements. Perhaps it's harder to see the good in someone when you're online, but if people knew who I am in real life they'd know I'm not for the Nazis or what they have done. I don't mind genuine interest in my fetish, but "genuine concern" about my sanity and morals infuriates me. Here are some frequent statements I receive:

"You don't know what you're talking about."
How could I not know what I'm talking about? I'm the one with the fetish! A fetish is not something you can control. You cannot change your fetish. It's either a part of you forever, or you ride it out until you find something new that strikes your fancy. I did not choose having the Nazi fetish, the Nazi fetish chose me. And it's quite interesting how I came upon this fetish. My family is in law enforcement and if they weren't, I'd probably be into a law enforcement fetish, but since I consider them as part as my family, I can't view law enforcement sexually because of this. So I guess this is why I like the Nazi uniform, because it represents so much power.

"You shouldn't have this fetish because of what the Nazis have done."
I specifically like the uniform and the power that comes with it, not what the Nazis have done. I do not see the uniform and see mass genocide, I see power. Lots of power. The Nazis had insane amounts of power in their time, and as someone who is quite submissive and a doormat in real life, I cling on to this power. Again, I do not support what the Nazis have done.

"It's immoral."
So is the majority of what I see here on FL (BDSM website).

"You disrespect the Jews for wearing the uniform."
I've seen plenty of racist fetishes here (on the BDSM website), but I fully respect the Jews and take the Holocaust seriously. I am not a racist person. I know many Jewish people, have prayed with Jewish people, have been to Jewish festivals, and I love the Jewish culture very much and respect it. What happens in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom.

"Of course I have the right to make judgements, look at what the Nazis have done!"
I am not going out and telling people they're disgusting for smearing **** on their faces (on the BDSM website). I don't enjoy having my fetish insulted and ridiculed and then all of a sudden people act surprise when I'm not polite about it. "Gee, thanks for telling me I might as well be responsible for the death of 8 million Jews." Again, I don't have this fetish because I enjoy what the Nazis have done, I enjoy the uniform and the power associated with it.

"Did you not get a good education?"
My fetish started during the history lesson on the Holocaust in 9th grade. I'll be teaching the Holocaust to elementary school children, I've read many books, watched countless documentaries and movies, visited Jewish festivals, I personally know many Jewish people, I've prayed with a Jewish family. I know the Holocaust and the Nazis like the back of my hand, and I still enjoy indulging in this fetish without guilt.

"Good luck trying to find someone who would even consider your fetish!"
Actually, I'm taken by someone who loves me in my uniform.

I really don't get any of that...especially on a fetish website. To be honest, I've written erotic fiction that had the girl dressed up in a Nazi uniform...it's not really a huge fetish of mine, but it's not like I haven't thought about it.

I've come to the conclusion that the reason I might feel so awkward and anxious about sex is that I'm thinking about "normal" sex, if you know what I mean.

But if I think about it from a perspective involving a particular fetish (or two), suddenly it doesn't seem quite as scary/gross/wrong/anxiety-inducing. I don't know...maybe feeling this way is just a fluke.

I thought you'd be able to find more understanding on fetlife, although I have seen a bit of controversy on that site before due to people not understanding each others fetishes.

The female superiority group gets a bit of hate over there, and probably the male superiority group (if it exists) would get quite a bit.

I can sort of understand how people could take a Nazi uniform the wrong way, but each to their own.

Fetlife is extremely overrated. The kinky&popular section is dreadful, there's hardly any true BDSM in there! And I get tons of unwanted messages from people telling me all the things they'd like me to do to them and be my slave or some stupid ****. And then of course, there's the people who have to rub their opinions in my face. The whole thing is just a mess, I don't know why I go on there to begin with.

Why are you surprised some people want to trash talk you or trash your thread? Happens to me too. I try to carry a serious thread and people come out of the wood work just to make smart @ss comments. My opinion is the more interesting the topic, the more offensive it will be to some people.

BTW, I love your Nazi fetish! I think it's HOT.

I am not surprised people trash-talk me because I've been attacked on multiple forums here and elsewhere because people love to share their opinions and consider their opinion to be the best opinion, but I am surprised that I would be seen so negatively by people who go through the same struggles but with a different fetish, and also surprised that the people I care about are the most receptive, like my dad, best friend, even my Jewish best friend knew that I am a good person despite my fetish.

so is it always this hard for u to take a compliment? Anyway I really do like your Nazi fetish. I'm out of here, cya.

Yes, I have always had a low self-esteem. That's why I like my fetish, it makes me feel good about myself (I'm starting to understand that this statement confuses people)

okay, how about being impaled by a huge strap-on, being worn by a woman. And I mean huge, 18 inches long, 8 in diameter. I have my moments as well, about being gangbanged by a group of women wearing big strap-ons.

I have a strap-on fetish as well, but the size you describe is rather far-fetched. I guess my size is a bit on the bigger size as well, when I told my "insert title here" that I would peg him with a full 6" and he told me "maybe for a blowjob but not for an*l!" and showed me this tiny four inch thing not even remotely shaped like a penis, looked more like a curved twig. Wimp.

Anyway, this thread is not about strap-ons.