[purpleSparkles]

Ok.... So this is my 2nd post here.... *breaths in* here goes nothing. (Sorry if it's choppy, it's hard to say)

I have a boyfriend. It's long distance (he is 7hrs away). He has been my best friend for 5 years. I used to live right down the street from him, so we were pretty close.

I finally got to see him today after a few months. We went out to eat, I met his parents, and we had sex.

It's the after sex part that makes me nervous.

We were both laying in the back of his car. Cuddling. I was rather exhausted, he has a lot f endurance and I finished before him. (To be fair he had already came twice and wanted to go for a third when i called it quits).
I asked him if it would be ok if I took a nap next to him.
He said i could.
I almost fall asleep when he adjusts my position. I thought that maybe he was shifting me b/c I was laying on him weird. He shifted me so my legs were spread on top of him.
I felt his **** bump against me. Once again I gave him benefit of the doubt. And tried to fall back asleep.
Then he put it in me.

I pretended I was asleep for a while as he has sex with my "sleeping" body.

I asked him what he was doing and he said he wanted to "fall asleep inside of me"

I don't know what to think of this. I'm... Well... Experienced. But I've never experienced anything like this.

Are things like this normal?

[Big Mama]

Normal, who is to say what is normal. I have never had this happen. With out asking for you permission to penetrate you and he did, is a larger issues to me. I think that wanting to fall asleep w/ him inside of you is strange but not unheard of I suppose. I wish he would have asked you first.

[oceanwater7]

Yeah ia with the other poster. I mean did it bother you when he did that? Did he keep thrusting or did he just stay there once he got in? I mean it's all up to your comfort level personally I wouldn't like the guy trying to having fun without me if you know what I mean.

[hamster-bamster]

My rule is - as long as he does not wake me up. He has a way of thrusting without waking me up, so it is a win-win - he enjoys sex and I enjoy sleep, and for me sleep is at the very top of the list of things that I enjoy and need, hence my top priority is undisturbed sleep. I do not see anything wrong in letting the guy have fun without me - for me, sleep is fun, so as long as I am sleeping, I AM having fun.

I find the desire to fall asleep inside you very touching. While it may not be physically possible, the way he expressed it is really good. He has a good way with words - he expressed something touching in simple, plain English terms.

The only thing I could not understand from your post is why you pretended to be asleep.

[ocdwifeofsociopath]

It wouldn't have bothered me one bit. As long as I wasn't needing sleep so badly I couldn't be disturbed. I don't think it's strange he wanted to do that either. It feels good to stay "linked".

[Harley47]

Well...with some perspective given here, I suppose I can see his rationale, but for me personally, I would be..."concerned" isn't the word, but I don't really like that he just sort of took it upon himself to do this. The issue is, for me, that he didn't get your input that this was okay. Granted, you had just had sex, so I could see making the assumption. But to me, the extent to which you were able to exert input ceased with you falling asleep.

I could go on about that for a bit, and most likely in circles, but it seems based on your post that your stated question is regarding the falling asleep in you part, not so much the sleep detail. Is that indeed your question?

Disregarding the sleeping part (were you "almost asleep" as you said or actually out? If only "almost," I do share Hammy's question about why you didn't question him then) for the purposes of a definitive answer, I do see why he would want to do that. It might not necessarily be pragmatic, but it would be a touching gesture. I only question him in regards to you being asleep...I, personally, don't like that.

Without delving into details, and respecting your right to privacy if you decline to answer, did he only insert himself, or was he actually...er..."going through the motions," so to speak? I'd be significantly more apprehensive in the latter, as it, to me, casts some doubt on his claim.

Some more information would be beneficial for our part. How specifically do you feel about it?

[danvb]

Without getting TOO graphic here... I NEVER just have sex, pull out, roll over and go to sleep - ever, ever, ever. After we've both "gotten there" we almost always quietly lay together with me still inside her and cuddle. We often sleep for an hour or two like that before we wake up enough to "detatch" and go back to sleep. It's a very intimate and loving way to experience each other.

As far as your boyfriend entering you without seeking your consent and willing participation... It's up to each individual to decide whether or not that's ok. I think the important thing is, were YOU ok with it or were you not? Having sexual relations with another person is such an incredibly personal thing I don't think there is such a thing as "normal". What's "normal" is what YOU consider to be normal. So, what your boyfriend did is only NOT ok if YOU think it was not ok. There are no "THIS is ok and THAT is not ok" rules other than the ones you have in your own head. YOU are the one that must decide for yourself what you like and what you don't like, what's ok and what's not ok. No one else can tell you that.

Experiment with sex to determine what you're ok with and what you're not... That is, only IF you're comfortable and ok with experimenting. If you aren't, DON'T. It's perfectly acceptable to not want to experiment if that's the way you feel! Either way, YOU are in charge of your own body and no one else can tell you that what you want (or, more importantly, don't want) is "normal" or "not normal".

I wish you happiness and meaningful intimacy.

Dan