I've always used my brain to process what I should do next, how I should please my partner. Never in life did things just came to me automatically. Every step was well calculated.

I want to know from your experience, is it like this mostly? As the movies or books depict it seems to be an automatic reaction. What is the reality?

I don't think it's an either or matter.

Originally Posted by George H.

I don't think it's an either or matter.

What do you mean by either or matter??

[FrayedEnds]

for me, the less I think about the....mechanics of it, the more enjoyable the sex is.

Sorry. I think what I meant to say is that although some things are calculated and planned there are also elements of instinct and of intuition.
You could say all of that comes from some part of the brain.
Is there a question behind your question?
Also I sometimes wonder if the people who write those books have ever even had sex Of course it could be dramatic license or character development

[Big Mama]

It doesn't just happen like it does in books or movies. You have to make it a conscious effort to be like that. At least for me it is like that.

[Mike_J]

Yes your brain is involved in sex, and it's the most important sexual organ..

[Angel of Bedlam]

It's both. Some is automatic, some involves thinking. My boyfriend knows where to touch me, how to touch me, and what I like. He kisses me and makes sex intimate and passionate. I do the same to him. Run my hands through his hair, grab his hips- this doesn't really involve thought. I think about ways to make our intimacy better during sex- how to move with him, when to speed our pace up and when to slow down. This is where thinking comes into play. As you become more comfortable with a partner, that thought process becomes less and less and instinct takes hold. I know he likes it slower and deeper, he knows I like it harder and faster and those things flow more. Hope this gives a little more insight.

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