[Angel of Bedlam]

This past Spring and Summer I lost close to 40 pounds. It was great, I'd never felt more attractive and beautiful to my boyfriend. Sex was wonderful (it always is) and I was never in my head about how I looked during. Lately, I've been depressed and extremely stressed and have put about 15 or so of it back on. My boyfriend tells me I'm beautiful everyday and we still are intimate, however, recently he's made comments about the weight gain. During sex now, I often find myself concerned with how I look and if I'm still attractive to him. It makes it hard at times to enjoy the moment. Other than going back to my strict diet, does anyone have suggestions for things I can do to get out of my head and just enjoy the intimacy? Thanks.

[Travelinglady]

I think you can take consolation that he was attracted to you before the weight loss. Trying to think about that during intimate moments is what I would recommend.

[hamster-bamster]

If you go on a strict diet, you will eventually not only regain all you have lost but gain even more - it is very important to eat normally, every day, always, without exceptions. Going on a strict diet will likely produce a short term weight loss followed by a long term weight gain. Avoid it like a plague - eat normally.

If your boyfriend tells you that you are beautiful, and, if he noticed your weight gain, that means that he simply finds you beautiful at your current size - so, rejoice.

[danvb]

Communication, communication, communication... It's all about being genuine. You're upset that you put some weight back on and have a harder time feeling pretty and desirable when you and your boyfriend are being intimate. I know what that feels like. Well, not the "pretty" part, but certainly the part about feeling a bit heavier than you'd like to be.
So, your boyfriend noticed that you put on some of the weight you worked so hard to get off. How did that make you feel? Did you tell HIM how it made you feel? Did you tell HIM that you're afraid he doesn't or won't desire you anymore? Did you share your thoughts and fears with HIM?

He may have just been making an observation about your weight gain and nothing more. ASK him what was going on in his head when he said that! TELL him what's going on in YOUR head.

I dunno... I know that what I'm saying here, the whole communication thing, sounds a lot easier than it might sometimes be, but nevertheless, that's the first thing a couple needs to do when EITHER person is uncomfortable or upset about something. TALK to each other and share what's on you mind or how you feel!!! Otherwise, you aren't a couple. You're just two individuals who happen to live together in the same house. Frankly, I think that talking and sharing thoughts and feelings is one of the sexiest things a couple can do... When you do that, you're telling your partner, "I Love you enought to be vulnerable with you".

Anyway... I don't want to carry on about it as much as I tend to do, but honestly, genuine communication with your partner forms the basis for a strong relationship with the person you Love.

And that's all I gotz to say about that.

Dan