How to deal with sexual frustration when you're a female (or if males have tips too)?

My bf lives about an hour away from me. We live in Canada.. and well.. the weather around this time of year sucks.

We're both 22.. I just finished university.. he had a couple of stints in universities.. realized it wasn't for him now he's finishing up at college. Him and I aren't exactly financially stable at the moment.. so we live with our parents. We steal moments when we can to do it (trust me, this relationship is SO MUCH MORE than about the sex.. but the sex is a really good part of it).

I lost my virginity to him.. actually really recently (Christmas Eve, and yes it was tres romantic aha). Now.. I don't know if this is a common thing or whatnot.. But pretty much every day I see him.. I want to have sex. I think there's only been two days where we haven't seen each other that we haven't had sex.

I'm supposed to see him today.. but the weather might be too bad, and I might not get to.

And I'm being completely honest here, I want to see him physically because I want to have sex. I also want to embrace him and kiss and whatever.. but I think that if he's not able to make it today.. I'm going to be mostly disappointed because that means I won't be able to have sex today!

I don't want to get frustrated with him just because he can't make the drive in this crappy weather (he has Generalized anxiety disorder.. so it's not him not wanting to have sex.. he just panics about things ppl without anxiety disorders may not necessarily understand.. but I guess we could understand how driving might be too scary in those conditions). I know it won't be me actually being frustrated with him, but sexually frustrated.

And don't just offer the tip of that I can masturbate... I need other reasons/tips too. Masturbation is definitely not the same as sex. Is there like.. some kind of meditation or music? or distraction? Or I don't know?! HELP!

You could send naughty pics or talk dirty... that kind of releases sexual frustration in my brain, not my body though.

My best advice is to be good to yourself. Take a bubble bath, get a pedicure... something that is good for you, and can help relax you. If that doesn't work, you can always masturbate. Ik you don't want that as an option, but it can help.

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I don't understand the NEED to have sex. I wish I did.

You've NEVER been sexually frustrated? Never ever?

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I don't think I have . . . i hear people talk about how it's been so long since they've had sex, but i've never counted the days or weeks . . .

Normally I just have sex to try and be close to my partner and to please her, which is validates me or something. I enjoy it as well, but I don't think i need it . ..

I kind of understand what you mean, and yet feel opposite. Like during the holidays we had family here and for like 2 weeks our sex life was gone. I needed it. The bond. The closeness. the release from orgasm. There are times when I need that- like the need to be touched, caressed, possessed I guess in some fashion... it's weird for me to think you've never had the same urges for those things.

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I suppose I have the urges while in the act, but I don't really have them during my daily life.

If I haven't had a lot of contact for a while i usually go to sleep fantasising about being in my partner's arms and i kind of skip over the sex part of the fantasy. Maybe this is because my partner never holds me but she will have sex with me regularly.

Distractions, is what you seem to need advice for. To get your mind off of it! It's not always, easy, but you've gotta do, what you've gotta do.

Spend too much time, in the disappointment feeling, your brain could miswire and sense disappointment in other areas of your relationship, if that makes any sense?

You are wanting this so bad, and fantasizing about it, so much, that logistical reality is bringing you further down, emotionally speaking, than necessary. Remind yourself, this isn't about the sex, as you say.

lololol bf too far away to give you the tip so you come searching online. Sorry, I'm a stupidly sexually frustrated 5 year old.

So you guys do see eachother often though? Like a few times a week? Is there anyway you guys could do something long distance like phone sex?

I basically live sexually frustrated and I manage by masturbating, being irritable, and sometimes crying at night. So. I'm unhelpful. I literally just wanted to make a tip joke.

Well it makes sense to fantasize about what you're not getting versus what you are.

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What's the key difference? You can buy yourself a vibrator to get a very realistic simulation, no?

Not true. I've never been able to get off this way. The only way I can climax from masturbation is if someone is watching me.

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That must be tough, and it probably makes sex extra important if it's the only way you can get yourself off.

Well yeah, it does. I just have to have a partner to feel into it enough to get off I guess.

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