Friends With Benefits

My best friend and I have a history of romance. When we were 14 we had a three week relationship that turned sour when I had stronger feelings for her than she did of me and we had a big fight and didn't speak to each other for a few months. We have always been close friends since.

Last night we got drunk, and she confessed that she wanted to make out but was afraid of us fighting again and I agreed and said that it would not be anything romantic, strictly to relieve sexual tension since neither of us have been in a relationship for a while which she agreed to.

So we made out, nothing too heavy, and we both enjoyed it. Now I am wondering whether we should make this a regular thing. Neither of us have done friends with benefits and there's always the chance that one of us might fall for the other, but I think strictly for relieving the sexual tension would be a good thing.

Now my problem is how to go about doing this. I'm afraid if we continue to do this drunk it might lead to sex, and neither of us have had sex with a girl and I am not sure whether or not drunk sex would be a good thing. It would be good to make us more relaxed since I've never had sex, but there's other reasons why it might not be a good idea because it might be harder to communicate or things might get out of hand. I'm also not sure how to ask her about being friends with benefits or how to set up rules for this.

Does anyone here have experience with friends with benefits?

I don't have any experience with FWB's, so...I can't help you there. My only concern is that if you two are drunk again and it DOES lead to sex, you might be disappointed...from what I remember, you were adamant about being in a relationship with the person you had your first time with, correct? My only fear is you might end up doing this and then come to regret it, which would of course be bad.

That in turn leads to how much FWB you two could accomplish if you weren't on the same page...if you want to wait and she does not, how feasible do you think it would be to fool around (for lack of better word ) and then set a sort of limit that doesn't include the...ah...lol staple, I guess, for the FWB thing? There's a possibility for resentment or frustration later down the line.

Now granted, that is me looking at the potential negative without much consideration elsewhere (I won't argue about the alleviation of sexual tension . lol What works certainly works ), and you know her and yourself better than I. Only calling attention to potential roadblocks, is all.

Hugs,
Harley

PS: Your cat is ADORABLE!!!

Well, sex with her drunk isn't the same as sex with just any guy drunk. I've known her for almost ten years, she is so far the only person I could trust having sex with. The alcohol could make me more relaxed to have sex, and not to drink to not remember it.

Well, all valid points. You have known her for a decade and she's a best friend, so I suppose the relationship aspect is already there. And alcohol is certainly a social lubricant, so it could make you more relaxed. Just...be sure that's what you want, particularly as far as the alcohol goes. What seems like a FANTASTIC idea while drunk isn't always what we'd do while sober (trust me ). It only happens the first time once. As long as you're comfortable with the idea, I don't see the harm...just make sure that booze isn't the deciding factor between yes and no.

I'm getting drunk with her again tomorrow night! HELP! How do I bring this up? What do I say to her? I'm nervous just to bring up making out again.

What to say...always been a hard one for me. Lol I have never been too great at making advances, so...lol just bear that in mind.

But, it doesn't really have to be diffcut..I mean, if you just want to talk about it, a simple "So...about last time..." should suffice. Even if you wanted to steer the conversation toward a specific point, you shouldn't have a lot of difficulty steering the conversation. Have you a goal in mind?

Just relax...it's still one of your best friends.

Hugs,
Harley

My goal, I suppose, would be to know how she felt about last time (and I'm hoping it's positive) and if we should go farther and if so how far.

Shouldn't be too hard to steer the conversation to. Don't worry so much about it. Just relax. I'm sure she has questions too.

Just be sure you're comfortable and this is what you want, is all I advise. I stumbled across this in reviewing my old messages:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/sexua...something.html

lol Promise, it was indeed a random stumble...Taptatalk doesn't order my topics I've responded to chronologically like PC does.

But I bring that up to say if that's still a relevant concern, do be careful this is what you want. You trust her, I don't doubt that for a moment, and I'm sure you love her to the level that one does invariably love a best friend. But upon reviewing that and knowing your views on the first time...don't end up regretting your decision, is all I advise. Not saying that's a downright no, but only to be mindful of your decision one way or the other.

Nothing happened last night, I was too scared to bring it up.

Aw...I'm sorry Doc. I was hoping you two would be able to talk about it.

Don't be afraid to bring it up...she's your best friend. Nothing has changed thesitationtrust she has questions too. She probably was working under the same hesitation to bring it up out of the same fear you were. I don't think she's going to be uneager to talk about it, once the ice is broken.

Hope you two had a good time regardless?

Gah...damned phone. That was supposed to say (in the first line, second paragraph) "Nothing has changed the that. I trust she has questions too."

Phone loves to insert random things in random lines. Like, I get auto correct fails, but scrolling fails?