Silly people

This is going to be my first post nothing bout something bad news or anything of that. I want to know what you all think is the terms "slut" "*****" "man*****" "loose" truly should apply to? To me it doesn't apply to any a generalization of male or female, everyone has the capability to be one only when they choose to use sex as a means to bring harm on another relationship prying for their needs not caring bout the relationship the person seeking to acquire their sexual needs with married or committed men and women. I mean it takes two to tango, but I put this term not on the person in the relationship not even close as I put in the person seeking to harm the relationship. This quota of a stereotype has been perverted to think people who are sexually active men or women are these terms. To think only women are called negatively "*****s" is not true at all of course if a guy for example does what perceive as being one sometimes the guy is praised other times subdue to much maltreatment and spite of others for being sexually active or looking what I've heard a lot..."thirsty or desperate" not going out raping people or intentionally harming good or committed relationships with charm and sexual means. It's not the act it's the intention behind the act. I find it silly that these terms are directed at the wrong people and reflects our societies ignorance on a natural important matter of a process everyone does, and instead of using respect and communication consentually I see many people my age. Hide and talk bout people behind their backs on facebook or in a group of friends or texting saying, "this guy wants sex from me oh no" kinda attitude, but unfortunately most girls have to clamp up my age because most guys don't know what chivalry really is in a sexual sense or just talking to people. If so many guys hit on a woman or man, which I had both before because some guys can't help their sexual tension like women do, but choose to not take responsibility of their words or actions they feel that pressuring a woman or girl whatever to have sex with them in a way they want so it's not really comfortable for the girl the guy may feel satisfied to get his way, but more I hear stories from friends they faked orgasms to prove themselves they are lying for protection and show that the guy to think they like it so they can go on with their lives forgetting the incident or relationship. I know it sounds weird how I've put it, but I learned from ladies lots of them over many years. I find it funny when because of that a truly nice respectful guy comes around the cycle from the previous guys who the girl expects all guys are like that expect this guy to say the same lingo and assume that's how getting good sex works, so when the guy says something they don't expect even deep down the guy may or may not be better sexual experience for the woman she will usually reject the guy and assume he isn't sexy because of how he talks or something very silly. I don't know, how that happens, I don't think their is much of a difference in men and women, more or less the society we live in has a much bigger impact on our self worth and sexual beings and looks. So in turn the society image has younger growing minds by the balls and truly shaping things they want into sexual negativity and furthering the stigmas and harmful effects from ranging LBGT community to poly people mono people from the terms sluts overused in a form of stigmatizing something that wasn't supposed to be used as such and just suppressing people who are sexually active, but afraid of who they are with from the unwanted attention they may recieve. I know it sounds silly, but I've seen and heard this straight from other people's mouths and my interpretation is very spot on and from my own experience I don't say we should all open up to everyone bout who we ****ed and so on, but I mean as in be respectful despite who they are. I love that we have so much variety from more sexually active to not so, more emotional, to asexual, pansexual, from homosexuality to hetero, seriously I think just that it's ok to be comfortable in ones skin despite the crap received. I truly hope one day that I can have an adult conversation not in a sexual way, but a straight forward respectful conversation whether if it's bout videogames sports whatever to sex and not worry bout even if judged and they say no bout their disagreements. I hope to have that communication that people just speak up instead of letting it blow up and harm everyone. I don't what do you all think?

Um ... hmm ... well in answer to your first question, name calling is for children. The terms you described shouldn't apply to anyone because everyone's circumstances are different. It's just judging someone based on our own self-inflated feelings of superiority.

In the middle you bring up an important point and I think it's really something that fathers should be addressing. Fathers need to sit down with their sons and daughters and talk honestly about how men should approach and be with women. They need to impose on their sons about not pressuring women into sex, not constantly crawling all over them and "hitting on them" or basically acting like an out of control child. They need to teach their sons how to be gentlemen and treat women accordingly. Then they need to impress on their daughters not to put up with that nonsense and not let men make them feel they have to have sex. Teach them to be strong and confident women.

Then finally, they have to demonstrate it. Children learn based on their parents. As parents, whatever the situation, we need to not only talk to our sons and daughters, but demonstrate the values we talk about. Act appropriately and treat each other with dignity and respect so that they demand it of themselves and others.

I hope that was what you were looking for.

The responsibility isn't just on men, it's on women as well. Women should be taught they're self-worth shouldn't be reliant on how many men desire to sleep with them. A man's self-worth shouldn't be on how many " hot chicks " he get's into his bed. This is all based on ego.

Self worth (value of yourself) should be based on accomplishments not sex, or even romantic realationships.

Exactly, I find it so embarrassing being 20 where I live around the college lifestyle and how it's so much different than a decade ago. I mean people there acted stupid got drunk and did things they regretted, but people were what I've heard from people a bit more in the know where I live or that time, say that, "Your generation is hopeless, they are so entitled to stuff that getting the simplest things done are impossible because they think their self worth is more important than helping a drunk friend get home or even being kind to people with general respect." and just I see when you try to tell a woman she is pretty my age. Usually she will say thanks, but generally a compliment is more taken as an insult, because more women my age and it's growing for concern for preteens and girls in highschool to believe that if you get any compliment they don't mean it, it's smart to be leery, but what does happen instead of just telling the person thanks being a bit passive aggressive if they aren't feeling for the compliment. They lash out in anger abruptly and act like they think you are wanting sex from them. That doesn't happen too often to me, but it's more often in my city than other places. Sex doesn't seem as some ultimate goal to me nor marriage and if people don't know what they want and not tell the person they want to be in a relationship what they need and want, which is common place unfortunately how could anything work out with anyone? other than going to certain places where people use their brains not their emotions

Do the people who have very long lasting relationships and the people who enjoy going into and out of good healthy relationships both have the right way going bout how they think something should work?

Well, knowing and telling your partner what you want is only part of it. The other part is being concerned with what your partner wants out of the relationship as well. I've seen a big growth in the "I'm not getting my needs met" perspective in relationships, but there's a missing component. A relationship is a partnership and it's not just one sided. Both parties add to the relationship so when someone is "not getting their needs met" they aren't just the victim, they're contributing to the problem.

Which is why parents are so important. Children grow up modeling their behavior after their parents and if they don't learn how to interact with a member of the opposite sex, then when they get older, they can have difficulties in that relationship merely because they aren't experienced on how to handle the emotions and interactions with their partner.

My marriage has made it 13 years not because we're flawless people, but because we're dedicated to each other, not just our own interests.