[Emma501]

I am 28 and have been with my partner for 7 years. Recently I have began to really question our relationship. My relationship is a secret to my family as I would not be accepted and don't want to lose my relationship with my family. Over the last couple of years I have noticed my jealousy towards friends and co-workers who are celebrating marriage and pregnancies. I want nothing more to be celebrating the same thing. However, because my relationship is non-exsistant to my family, these are things that I don't feel are possible. I have began to really question I've my life style choices are what is causing my unhappiness. Would just conforming to "normal" allow me to experience marriage and children make my happy? Because what I am doing now is only causing pain and sadness.

[IzzyMeadows]

At some point you have to stop living for the people around you and live for yourself.

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[hamster-bamster]

I read it and thought that the location of OP would be India. No, Arkansas. .. can you provide the context, though, as it is hard to picture how an adult woman who lives stateside has managed to hide her 7 year long marriage from her family. Or do you live in a close knit immigrant community? Please describe the situation a bit, because otherwise your post is too cryptic.

[Emma501]

Thanks for your post Hamster. My partner and I have lived together for 5 years. However my family has always believed this was a friendship/roommate situation. Homosexuality is not as accepted in Arkansas as other states and my family would have nothing to do with me should I ever chose to come out (unfortunately I witnessed this when my cousin chose to come out 10 years ago). I hope this answers your question.

[hamster-bamster]

You need to consider moving to Boston or NYC or San Francisco. That would solve your problem, and from afar you can still be in touch with the family via phone and email and Skype and social networks.

But those cities are all much more expensive than Arkansas. Denver may be cheaper but still gay-friendly.

I don't remember which writer said that there is no emotional problem that crossing the Atlantic could not solve. It was written during the times of sea travel, before airplanes. But the point remains - change your scenery.

[Numbed]

What Izzy said.