[LiteraryLark]

I've had two sexual encounters with two different men...both of them were gay who both wanted to know what it was like to have sex with a girl, and gay men is my biggest fantasy so I agreed. They were both amazing experiences. The first encounter was only a blow job after drinking at the beach and then sobering up at his house. When we went to have intercourse I got cold feet because he was very awkward during foreplay and I anticipated it being very awkward so I said no.

A week later I had another encounter with intercourse included, and it was a wonderful experience.

I really enjoyed the experience, but thinking of having sex again makes me very nervous. I feel like being drunk got me loose and put my fears at ease, and now I feel like I more "have a conscious" about it and I'm not sure how I feel about having sex again even with the same two men. I tried explaining my fears to my counselor, but I don't think I explained it correctly and she more congratulated me about exploring my sexuality in a safe environment (we used condoms and she knows I'm very nervous about sex). I just don't know how I feel, really. I still have yet to find a boyfriend, and I get nervous around straight men because I feel that they might take advantage of me whereas with gay men they genuinely care about me with no pressure or other motives (the whole time with both men they told me they wanted to take care of me and made sure I felt good and respected, and they were genuinely curious about the experience and loved it.) I am not sure how to get past my fears except put myself out there and find a boyfriend that loves me and treats me with respect.

Thoughts?

[gma45]

I think you have the right idea. You really do deserve someone that will respect you and love you. You are a good person. Just be careful putting yourself out there makes you vulnerable and I don't want to see you hurt.(the mother in me is coming out sorry!) But I do think that is probably what you need to do if that is what you truly want. I wish you the best.

[TheWell]

Wait until you are in a relationship with someone you care about. If sex stresses you out it may be because you are not feeling connected with the person. It might have been easier to be connected to the gay guys because there was no fear.
Luck,
W

[BDPpartner]

Waiting until you feel safe and comfortable with a potential new partner sounds like the correct direction for you But perhaps something else to consider along side is self exploration, become comfortable with what you enjoy and what you don't it may help you feel a little more relaxed when you do become physical with a gentleman emphasis on the gentle

I just wanted to add that although you have had positive experiences with gay men I would take care maybe that's the wrong wording perhaps be cautious about it as although I'm sure they are curious and intend you no harm they may have a reaction to the situation (sex with a woman) that could be a real knock to your self-esteem.

[Bill3]

I am not sure how to get past my fears except put myself out there and find a boyfriend that loves me and treats me with respect.

This sounds reasonable to me.

[buzz bee]

Why is there so much pressure on sex? Has anyone noticed that? A real man will not pressure you. A real man will wait until it feels right. And if it never happens with that guy, nothing lost.

Relax a bit and dont put so much pressure on it. Sex can be the most rewarding experience in your life. Why not wait until you can enjoy the closeness and pleasure when the time arrives.