[debramorgan42]

hi guys... I don't know if it really belongs here..
So... I had lot of bad issues with sex. I had a very sick "relationship" with a lot older man... it was abusive because no matter how I "agreed" I was just afraid and insecure and in reality I didn't want it and I tended to mentally avoid the presence during the act. However my first sexual experiences were with him... and the longest "relationship" as well...
3 years after I completely isolated myself from him I finally found a guy who is really good for me. he was a virgin when we met... but our sexual life was good along the way... we improved fast. I still had this problem with slipping out of reality but I could really trust him and I started to experience the fullness of presence in sexual act - which is being also in love with him was a very good experience
He started to have problems.. what at first seemed to be a personality disorder soon escalated into ever deepening problems and at the end he had periods of both schizoaffectiveness and psychosis... after I started to be afraid of him during schizoaffective episodes, so I left him.... but I still strongly desired him and dreamed about him finding a way and coming back to me.
well that happened. he found a good medication and on therapy and the extreme psychotic aspects are lowered to a point that they are just "normal" mood change. we started to date again - as it is never really ended just stopped for a time.
I love him and want to be with him but I recently experienced extreme anxiety about sexual acts again.... I wasn't abel to be present in the act, no matter how I wanted it and felt ready for it and how good the foreplay was.... he always were very understanding and patient - but I'm in pain about this issue.... because now any sexual though with actual person (porn is just a mindblast) is giving me anxiety. so it is just agressively reduces my sexual desires.... how can I - we - come over it?

[gayleggg]

I would tell him about your returned anxiety and start back over from the beginning. Take it one step at a time. Don't try to force things. While you were separated some of your old stuff came back up. Now you have to work it out like in the beginning of your relationship. Counseling may be another good option. Good luck.