Weird Hybrid Sexuality

I don't really like 'sex', I don't think it's a spiritual connection. I've always thought it was purely lust , I kinda wish we weren't sexual beings at all, I wish we were all like barbie dolls?!?

The thought of 'topping' a woman or.... man.. in sex grosses me out, If I'd ever have sex I'd like to be in the 'female' role.

and I like female faces on male bodies, they're rare, but not impossible to find...

and I prefer cuddling over anything more 'mature'. Even though I'm not attracted to women, I try to find ways to 'attract' myself, when I see an athletic/tall well built women, I try to imagine them without breasts and stuff. I focus on their shoulders or muscles, lol.

Overall, I'd like to think I'm asexual, I'd like intimacy (JUST HUGGING) from both males and females, preferably a soft featured male or a female. I guess I feel I'd be right with another asexual

Note : I have gender dysphoria that really picks up when I feel 'sexual'.

I don't think you are weird. I think you are you. And you are okay just the way you are.

Thank you