[Diamond-eyes]

We'll,getting straight to it. I hooked up and slept with a guy Friday night.
I have been with guys before but this guys was very open to trying new and kinky things I always wanted to try. We had sex in the bed,shower and I allowed him to gently chock me cum my mouth and spank me.we even made plans for the future of of hooking up regularly and coming up with a kinky role play. Now, ofcourse I enjoy this but I started to have feelings that if anyone knew I enjoyed this,I would be judged and called dirty or a *****.its bad enough that my own mother doesn't accept me for existing. I never exposed mu self to anyone in this way. What are these feelings and how do I get over these false-feelings of shame or sexual misunderstanding?

[sickmonkey]

"Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind" - Dr. Seuss

[sickmonkey]

I'm Bob (49yo) and have been a kinky deviant since childhood. Please email me > monkeycat@centurylik.net and we will chat.

[bixkf]

You don't have to be into kinky things to have this feeling. I've been bisexual my whole life. I've had relations with both men and women, eventually getting married and having kids. I told my wife early in our relationship about me and my past, and my desired future.
I know that she like regular sex, and I avoid pursuing homosexual/bisexual acts with her since it isn't her thing. I personally don't cheat, but I do masturbate to gay porn and have an@l play with myself. However, from time to time I want to explore with my wife. I ask about MMF 3somes, or even just her using a strap-on.
In the end, I never get all of me satisfied, and I get guilted for even asking the questions.
I ask myself all the time, why I should feel guilt over who I am, or having desires or needs?

[Darvula]

Hi, Diamond Eyes. I'm new here and I don't know if you are a guy or a girl, but anyway that's irrelevant. I just wanted to say that the whole point of sex of any kind is to enjoy it, which you say you are doing, so that's all fine. If this guy is into what you are into, that's great and no one else's business. Just be careful with that choking thing; make sure he knows what he's doing and you don't end up unconscious or worse...

Darvula

[Yismymindblank12]

I have this all the time. I like to be hooking up with lots of people and have a very strong passion for threesomes and foursomes with all kinds of varieties and I feel lots of people don't choose to understand their own sexuality so if it's different to them. It's all bad and evil and will destroy everything.

When in truth they maybe liking that stuff too, but they want to fit in the crowd. So being different in that regard isn't bad at all if you like it do it for you not for them.

At least when it comes to sex, I can have that understanding. A lot of people should to.

[CantExplain]

Hmmm. I personally would not play choking games with strangers.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Diamond-eyes

We'll,getting straight to it. I hooked up and slept with a guy Friday night.
I have been with guys before but this guys was very open to trying new and kinky things I always wanted to try. We had sex in the bed,shower and I allowed him to gently chock me cum my mouth and spank me.we even made plans for the future of of hooking up regularly and coming up with a kinky role play. Now, ofcourse I enjoy this but I started to have feelings that if anyone knew I enjoyed this,I would be judged and called dirty or a *****.its bad enough that my own mother doesn't accept me for existing. I never exposed mu self to anyone in this way. What are these feelings and how do I get over these false-feelings of shame or sexual misunderstanding?

You answered your own question, did not you? because your mother does not accept you for existing, you - to some extent - do not accept your own existence either. Part of existence for a human is a sense of personal space, personal boundaries, and an entitlement to privacy. When you acquire all of those, you will not worry about what others might think or say if they knew about your private life. Right now, due to the lack of definition of your personal space, your boundaries are non-existent and you feel that others' eyes might get through them and are afraid of what others will then think. So you need to deal with the legacy of having the mother you have and work on establishing yourself as a human, in her personal, private space and with a sense of boundaries and a (limited, of course) control over her destiny and choices. Sex is a fairly sensitive topic so that your fears flared up triggered by a sexual episode is not surprising, but it would be a mistake to focus solely on how to deal with the feelings triggered by the sexual encounter because you have a much, much bigger fish to fry. The issue is general and huge; the sexual encounter triggered a specific manifestation of the general issue, which is not sexual per se. Does it make sense?