LGBT acceptance in family

I talked to my therapist a little about my sexuality and he suspects that it might be something that gives me more trouble than I realize. I just stopped for a moment today to think about it and I believe that maybe he's right. Maybe. I hadn't the opportunity to talk too much about it with him and had enough time to make a good analysis, but I'd like to get a few answers faster.

I'd just like to know how much not having much support from your family or just not as much you expected them to give you because you're LGBT could affect you in a negative way.

I'm losing part of my respect for a few of my family members and I'm also very disappointed with some of them. Does a not so extreme reaction from your loved ones bring those problems with someone's relationship with them?

Hello dinolover: Sure, not getting the support from your family you anticipated can cause you to lose respect for some or all of them & lead to disappointment. This would be particularly true if you live with other family members & perhaps are dependent on them. I don't know how old you are or what your living situation is. But if you are in school & living with parents, siblings, etc. they are the people you would rightly expect to be supportive of you under any circumstances. If they are not, then you are of course going to feel let down. Being a member of the LGBT community can be challenging despite the gains that have been made in recent years.

The fact that your family does not abuse you or otherwise demean you & has not thrown you out of the home is certainly to their credit. Many members of the LGBT community are not so fortunate. Still, you need support & understanding too. You need to be around people who will celebrate you, not leave you feeling neglected. And if your family cannot provide this for you then perhaps you may need to look for it elsewhere, such as with an LGBT organization in your community. And, of course, you can also always continue to post here on PC. There are many members of the LGBT community here who will be more than happy to correspond with you & to provide support. My best wishes to you...

Have you joined a LGBT meeting where you live , you should get support somewhere if your family isn't doing it .

I am not LGBT myself, so I can't speak from my own experience. But I have seen a few friends come out and it hasn't always been easy. For one of them, it was grand - his family had guessed a long time ago, he didn't dare telling some of the new friends he got after his family moved at first, but now he is in a happy relationship that "everyone" knows about (it's on Facebook and everything) and he hasn't gotten any reactions as far as I know. For the other gay guy in my close cirle of friends, on the other hand - his family is very religious, he grew up in a cult. He broke it off with them in his teens because he 1) realized he was gay and 2) realized he didn't believe in God (or at least not the God they preached about). He's had some serious problems with it, friends cutting him off, etc. His parents know and it was hard for them at first, but they're dealing with it - they don't want his grandparents to know, though, and I know it really pains him that his parents are embarassed about who he is and that he can never be himself around some of their family members. What has helped him is that his parents have accepted it and support him, even defending him to members of the cult etc., and that he has plenty of friends standing up for him. The best of luck to you!

I'd just like to know how much not having much support from your family or just not as much you expected them to give you because you're LGBT could affect you in a negative way.

Well, coming out can be difficult..try to remember how long it took before you came out and how afraid you where when you did. I have a saying..when someone comes out..someone goes in the closet..What I mean by that is that for some family members who have negative ideas about this..for them it's hard to deal with it..they may never be able to deal with it until they get more "education about it" Just be who you are and don't force it on them..some will deny you, others will tolerate and others will accept..and all this can change with time. The best support you can get now is from a lgbt group and from those who accept you like you are. You must build you're own confidence about you're sexual identity and learn about dealing with all the stigmatization around it. Times are better now..but I see you are in brazil..I don't know how it is in you're county..maybe harder than in the us or canada. good luck and hope you find the support you need.