sex vs masturbation

All input is desired: Sex seems like so much work that I'd rather jack off, my penis almost always wants attention, and I can't seem to get off unless I am fantasizing of inappropriate things (nothing really that bad but still).

hi narcissisticimposter
i dont feel it is worth the effort of getting involved with someone just to have sex either. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

This was once described as “theatrical mockery of women”.

If it's only about "getting off", then yeah ... the hand is much more efficient.

But for me sex is about the emotional intimacy and vulnerability and Rosie Palmer isn't capable of any of that. So sex with my wife is FAR better than masturbating.

Political proximity.

Before I had even had sex, I knew masturbation would always be superior…

With a partner (even one I love/care deeply about), I rarely feel pleasure and feel a lot of pain and discomfort (ANY kind of sex, not just intercourse…actually intercourse tends to hurt the least). And even when I do feel pleasure, by body punishes me with debilitating pain. On my own, I rarely have discomfort and I can actually orgasm.

But you know what? I really don't think women are supposed to enjoy sex while men are. But, if I were a guy, I'd probably prefer masturbation because I can't imagine putting a girl through what I've been through for my own pleasure.

who decides what is appropriate and what is inappropriate in your world?

Actually, it is my own judgement that these thoughts (some of them) that help to get me there are inappropriate as I am disturbed that I have them. I have a conflict within myself in this regard. My perception is that, although the thoughts I feel are wrong, they are merely no more than a thought and therefore really hurt noone. So until I figure why, how, how much or if they truly are wrong and then what to do about it, I will accept them for what they provide.

Hi,
She and I have been together for sixteen years and have four children together. Sex is like just too much work......

Hi,
Oh, I love sex with my wife and we are after 16 yrs still learning about each other. It's just that sex is too much work and therefore don't want to get involved in the work before it happens and I don't feel like that should be.

Ooo ... that sounds like it may be something altogether different in my opinion. When my Major Depressive Disorder was at its worst, then sex was too much work as well (so was getting out of bed and doing things like eating or bathing).

You might want to talk to a therapist or counselor about that. It might be a sign of something else being wrong. Sex should be fun, like playing basketball with a friend or going to the movies, it shouldn't be work. If it becomes work, then there's something else gumming up the works.

Sex is way more fun than seeing a crappy movie

I think that what you are trying to say is that sex used to not be like work, but now is like work. In essence, you are not trying to compare sex with your wife with solo sex; you are wondering why sex with your wife has become like work, while solo sex has not. You are worried about the negative dynamic in partner sex, it seems, and juxtaposing it with the lack of any such dynamic in solo sex, and, expressing discontent because this is not how it should be. Is that about right?