[qipi]

Hi,
I need help, and please excuse my English, I am not a native speaker.

I am 25 heterosexual boy who never had any kind of sex.
I feel embarrassed to even write it, but from a very young age I loved playing with my ***,
and inserting stuff up there, sometimes I also liked putting some bra and dress on my self during the act (only two times thou).

During the years I was introduced to BDSM and strapon stuff through the net,and my favorite porn is strapon domination of woman on man, but I also like regular man on woman and bdsm man on women.

I have a fantasy were a woman pegs me, and let me suck her strapon, while I am wearing a wig , panties and bra, treating me like a slutty girl basically.

I am confused, because I do not know why I have those desires, and recently I thought about acting upon them and considered going to a pro dome.

My question\s is:

Why I have those cross-dress \ slut desires? - about the *** penetration, In the past I succeeded, using "homemade tools", to get an orgasm so great, it felt wonderful.
I know about the stigma about penetration being a gay thing, but to tell the truth I know I am not one, nor getting pegged makes me one - I am sure attracted to women and want to have sex them in regular and in a kinky way,when I will get the opportunity.

Which leads to my concern: the cross dressing \ "being a slut" thing:
Because I never been with a girl before (not even a kiss) , due to me being a computer wiz (a geek) focused on his work , had to serve in the army and my mom dying from cancer, depression and more things I am seeing a professional psychiatrist for,
can it harm in some way?

In one hand I want to *start be more manly*, and start going with girls, and on the other hand,
I want to be pegged so much, want woman to bend me over and do me in the ***, but also want to that to them;

SORRY FOR THE HARSH WORDS

From what I read on the net I understood it called a "switch", and about the session itself that
it's just an experience, and some sort of a game - doing in consent, care from both parties, and me being a virgin had nothing to do with it, and that I am young and should just try things.

Should I give a pro dome a try? I feel very excited about such a thing, but I fear it will "**** up my mind" somehow when I will be with a girl, or will start act like a female, it scares me, what should I do?

I will appreciate an answer me, because I have no one else to ask - when trying to search this subject on the internet most of the time I am getting porn videos, and not much good educational content about the subject.

Thanks!

[healingme4me]

Maybe it's a desire to be dominated and submissive? I'm really not completely certain, just how it comes accross. Not sure starting right in with non vanilla is an avenue that wouldn't tinker with your mind, yet, then again I'm not certain. There is literature out there about the lifestyle that might be better to read to give yourself a better self awareness.

[Webgoji]

Being a man and wanted to get pegged are not mutually exclusive. You can be plenty manly and still have a woman give it to you. To be honest, a pro dom probably isn't a bad way to go since she'll know what she's doing. Men do need to be a little careful since you can damage the prostate.

So in short. You're desires don't make you any less manly. Many men have the same desire. (Heck, there was a weird rush here in my home town when a bunch of guys found a pro dom who would do pegging.) In my opinion, you won't mess up your mind, won't turn into a woman and who knows, you might actually find a new confidence and will feel a little happier.