hello everyone, here for some help.

hi people of this forum, I come to you guys looking for some help with something I'm embarrassed to talk about in real life.

I'm an 18 year old male who has a fetish for womans feet and I also am a little into femdom/bdsm but its mostly feet. I have had both of these fetishes since I was a child, they were not caused by watching p***, so they will never go away, and I'm completely fine with that.

Now ever since I was 13/14 I have pleasured myself to feet and bdsm, not once doing it about sex. I have never been intimate with a girl, but the problem is I cannot maintain an erection thinking about a naked female. I could get one but not maintain it as good as my fetish.

I know I won't know if I can mantain an erection or not, but I feel like this is something I should really be worried about, so I have been on multiple forums about this looking for answers, and many have said to stop masturbating to ANYTHING.

I've been masturbating consistently everyday since I was 14 and such, I'm on day 5 of my reboot. I know my fetishes will NEVER go away, but they will weaken and hopefully my normal sex drive will emerge. This makes me feel like less of a man, I just want to be able to pleasure woman during regular vanilla and have her indulge my fetish.

I plan on not masturbating for a few months and trying to rewire myself, so I keep my fetish and enjoy more vanilla stuff, thank you all for reading this and I'm sorry it's long.

Hello dilophosaur: Welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks! There are many members, here on PC, with a wide variety of experiences. So you should be able to find others with similar experiences & concerns. Good luck!

Welcome to PC, good to have you aboard!

First and foremost, you are not less of a man because you have a foot fetish. It's not that uncommon for people to have fetishes for certain body parts. I'm a butt man Second, it's normal to have these feelings. A "vanilla" sex drive is no more normal than having a sex drive that is sparked by something like bisexual curiosity or some bdsm or having a thing for broad shoulders.

Since you've never been intimate with a woman, I think you're just causing yourself extra worry that you won't be able to perform per your own expectations. It's a whole different world beyond thinking about the female form and experiencing it. So I think you've got nothing to worry about there. Don't create a problem where one doesn't exist yet.

Masturbation is normal as well. Do be aware that your hand is tighter than a woman can be though so if sensitivity is an issue when you have sex with a woman it can be helpful to use different methods for masturbation. But right now I don't see any issues at all.

Okay, so now that I've said how pretty much everything about you is normal and not bad in any way ... I would suggest talking with a counselor. I'm worried you're setting up some negative thinking patterns that can affect you in the future. A counselor can help you work through the negative feelings I think you're projecting on yourself and help you become comfortable in your own sexuality. So when it's time for you to be intimate with a partner, you can both enjoy each other to the fullest.

Wow - I do believe you have been given the wrong advice about resisting to masturbate!

You are only 18 years old and finding yourself sexually, thats fab. Alot of people dont find their specific kinks until later on in life.

I work as an adult entertainer and I come across foot fetishes, and the likes, ALL THE TIME. I think the issue here is you seem a little worried or embarrassed about coming to terms with it. Why would you want to weaken something that brings such pleasure to you?

Id say embrace it. later on in life you WILL find the right kind of partner who understands and who may also have a few kinks themselves. I wouldnt worry about that. Nor would I worry about maintaining an erecrtion without experiencing proper intimacy first? Sex is sex and there is no right or wrong way to do it. Its just whatever works for both parties.

Hope this helps,

x