[ladyrevan21]

This is just one of those things that's been bugging me lately, and I'm wondering how odd any of it is. Basically, I've never had sex, and while I've definitely had fantasies when I was a teenager (mostly related to fictional characters), I don't think I've had attractions to anyone currently in my life. It doesn't really help that some of the more female-oriented fanservice I've run into just doesn't really do much for me (shirtless scenes, male butt shots, etc.; it's mostly in writing that I find it not as bad) and I guess fanservice in general doesn't always do it for me.

I guess it just doesn't help that there were these friends I used to have (I don't really talk to them anymore) and I stumbled across one of them kind of going on about how women are drawn to this and that and I guess it doesn't really help that it got me wondering "is there something wrong with me that I'm not always drawn to this and that? Do I just have issues or something?"

So is this odd? I mean, I guess some people sexually develop in different ways and have different turn-ons, but still...is this odd?

(I hope I'm not wasting anybody's time with this)

[Webgoji]

You're not wasting anyone's time. It's possible that you either have a very low libido or are maybe asexual.

It doesn't sound odd or that you have any "issues". You might talk to a therapist though so they can help you work through it all and become more comfortable with your sexuality.

[ladyrevan21]

Thank you so much! Yeah, that might be the reason for it -- next time I meet up with my therapist (we meet usually on Thursdays), I might talk with her about this. Again, thank you. You've really helped.

[bighands]

Originally Posted by ladyrevan21

This is just one of those things that's been bugging me lately, and I'm wondering how odd any of it is. Basically, I've never had sex, and while I've definitely had fantasies when I was a teenager (mostly related to fictional characters), I don't think I've had attractions to anyone currently in my life. It doesn't really help that some of the more female-oriented fanservice I've run into just doesn't really do much for me (shirtless scenes, male butt shots, etc.; it's mostly in writing that I find it not as bad) and I guess fanservice in general doesn't always do it for me.

I guess it just doesn't help that there were these friends I used to have (I don't really talk to them anymore) and I stumbled across one of them kind of going on about how women are drawn to this and that and I guess it doesn't really help that it got me wondering "is there something wrong with me that I'm not always drawn to this and that? Do I just have issues or something?"

So is this odd? I mean, I guess some people sexually develop in different ways and have different turn-ons, but still...is this odd?

(I hope I'm not wasting anybody's time with this)

Do you consider yourself "old-fashioned" or more of a romantic? I have known woman who simply do not like visual erotica. And there are many women who are more turned on by the written word; more allured by the setting and the build-up than the actual act. Also, some women are simply not highly sexual until they meet someone who they truly love. And then, WATCH OUT! Love and commitment and security are their aphrodisiacs.

In this generation of instant gratification, you may be in the minority but you are certainly NOT odd.

[ladyrevan21]

That's a good question, really. I guess I just haven't really found anybody yet -- not a romantic partner, at least. And I think I would fall into the category of being-more-turned-on-by-the-written-word -- I'm fine with some visual erotica, but others? Not so much, I'll admit. As for old-fashioned vs. romantic -- well, I'd probably fall more into the romantic category.

And thanks. It's definitely good to hear that I'm not odd.