[Pigg]

I'm a 27 year old male. I've never had sex and I've never kissed a girl. I have shaken hands with girls, though

No, I'm not asexual. I'm a straight guy with a an extremely high libido.

Long story short :
1. bullied as a kid -> became a loner -> depression, anxiety, OCD -> angry at the world, hatred for human race, hoping for giant asteroid to hit earth
2. Extremely unattractive : short, thinning hair, no blue/green eyes, no cute face with amazing features, no milky white smooth skin, hairy chest, slightly hairy back
3. Small Penis
4. Raised by parents who are big fans of ethics/morals/values and all that jazz -> I feel very uncomfortable doing things that society considers "immoral" -> prostitutes not an option

I'm not looking for help getting laid.
And please, do not start with that nonsense about how there's someone out there for everyone and that I just need to have faith and patience. If that's all you've got to offer, please do not reply.

My questions are purely scientific :
1. Are there any adverse physiological effects on not getting any sex even though you constantly desire sex?
2. Is masturbation a complete/perfect alternative to sexual activity with another human being, as far as physiological effects are concerned?
3. If not, are the adverse physiological effects on not getting any sex serious enough to affect a person's well-being (sleep quality, general health, immune system, efficiency at job, etc ..)?

[Pandoren]

I expect the biggest thing is stress... If you want something constantly and strongly and are not getting it, that will have an effect on your mental health and probably, as an extension of that, your physical health as well. The extent to which is does this most likely depends on how stressed a person is getting by the situation. If it makes them depressed, gives them headaches, distracts their concentration... then quite possibly it could affect their sleep, efficiency etc.

Where masturbation vs sex is concerned, while the physical sensation might be perfectly pleasurable, there are mental benefits from sex if a person desires it- emotional benefits, bonding connections, a feeling of success and desirability... so there are things that sex can give a person that masturbation cannot.

2. Is masturbation a complete/perfect alternative to sexual activity with another human being, as far as physiological effects are concerned?

This is the only one I really feel any surety at all about.
For physiological/health effects I've read that masturbation is a good thing. I read an article years ago that men who masturbate frequently are less likely to develop prostate problems. I'm older and I've never had any prostate problems so there may be something to that. Nothing is perfect though

[JLarissaDragon]

I doubt seriously if there are any long term physiological effects, though I am not a physician. Psychologically speaking it may be different for many people. There are major emotional benefits to love that are hard to quantify. Nevertheless, each one of us is different. People's sex drives range all over the place, If you are happy where you are then there is no reason to change, I would imagine

[moremi]

I think masturbating is a completely natural thing go with it, I am unsure of your age but you sound pretty young. It is okay nothing to be ashamed of.

[hamster-bamster]

And why do you list your hairy chest and slightly hairy back among your unattractive features? What is wrong about those???

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

And why do you list your hairy chest and slightly hairy back among your unattractive features? What is wrong about those???

Ditto the milky white skin. Is everybody really into the vampire look now? Yuck!!

[hamster-bamster]

I would go even further to claim that your hairiness, being virile, partially compensates for the penis length deficiency.

[unaluna]

An it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean. Being a rather worldly woman (almost wrote wordy there, Freudian slip!), it's more about the guy and what he can do, not his physical qualities. Men are not judged by the standards that women are judged by. Unless you want to be.

I thnk you do want help for your involuntary celibacy, otherwise why go into detail about it and not just skip ahead to the physiological questions?

Do you have social anxiety? Also what kind of job do you have?

Communication and the ability to function normally in society are more important than mere looks, particularly as you get older.

Originally Posted by Pigg

3. If not, are the adverse physiological effects on not getting any sex serious enough to affect a person's well-being (sleep quality, general health, immune system, efficiency at job, etc ..)?

I do not know specifically about involuntary celibacy or even normal celibacy. But I do know that sexual repression can cause anxiety and aggression. In extreme cases, aggression of the murderous sort. Or terrorism... Sexual repression does strange things to people...

It doesn't seem like you're actively repressing your sexual desires, so I don't know if this will have the same effect on you...

Then again, why take the risk? Go find yourself a sex partner before you join a violent gang or become a hitman for the mob.

[hamster-bamster]

OP, do you grow your own food and press your own wine?

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

I thnk you do want help for your involuntary celibacy, otherwise why go into detail about it and not just skip ahead to the physiological questions?

Do you have social anxiety? Also what kind of job do you have?

Communication and the ability to function normally in society are more important than mere looks, particularly as you get older.

I totally agree that you do want help. Otherwise, you would not have called your situation involuntary.

[Pigg]

Originally Posted by moremi

I think masturbating is a completely natural thing go with it, I am unsure of your age but you sound pretty young. It is okay nothing to be ashamed of.

I'm 27 years old.

[Pigg]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

And why do you list your hairy chest and slightly hairy back among your unattractive features? What is wrong about those???

Most women are disgusted by hairy chests and backs.

[Pigg]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

I thnk you do want help for your involuntary celibacy, otherwise why go into detail about it and not just skip ahead to the physiological questions?

Hmmm. That's a good point. I should have just skipped straight to the questions.

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

Do you have social anxiety? Also what kind of job do you have?

I used to have severe social anxiety for the first 20 years or so of my life. I don't anymore.
And I'm a graduate student, pursuing a Master's degree in Software Engineering.

Communication and the ability to function normally in society are more important than mere looks, particularly as you get older.

That has not been my experience. Those things are advantageous for sure. But not being ugly is an absolutely necessity.

[Pigg]

Originally Posted by Michael D.

It doesn't seem like you're actively repressing your sexual desires

That's exactly what I am doing, actually.

Go find yourself a sex partner before you join a violent gang or become a hitman for the mob.

Finding a sex partner isn't exactly a simple, straightforward thing for many people.

[Pigg]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

OP, do you grow your own food and press your own wine?

No. Why?

[Pigg]

Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply.

I have another question :
Is there a (legal) drug that can reduce a man's libido (maybe even eliminate it)? If yes, what are the side effects?
I'd be grateful if a doctor on this forum, or someone who has used such a drug would answer.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Pigg

No. Why?

Then what is wrong with prostitution, apart from legal consequences? Food is more of a basic need than sex, and you are OK paying for food.

Sex ia more like wine than like food, in that it is enjoyable, often in a social setting, good for health and longevity unless overconsumed, but not a basic need.

Using the analogy between sex and wine, if you are ok not pressing your own wine but buying it from Trader Joe's, then you should be ok with prostitution.

How do you know that straight women are disgusted by male hair? Are you sure you are. Not confusing us with gay males??

There are lots of drugs that MAY kill your libido. You just need to try various psychiatric drugs, and chances are, you will get there.

I personally think that a woman who can put up with the nerdiness of a CS Master's students can and will put up with his hairy skin without an issue.

[shezbut]

Pigg,

Alright, you've piqued my interest.

Why aren't you discussing this with your physical doctor if you really do want to repress the physical urge to be with a woman? They would certainly give you more appropriate information than any of us could offer. After all, just because med Z brought perfection to *Joe that doesn't mean that Z would do the same for you. You need a professional to make educated decisions, rather than some Joe Blow on PC!

The tag below your post links to involuntary celibacy. I am confused. Do you want to be celibate or not? If so, see your doc as I recommended above. If not, I'd recommend working on your self-esteem before trying to find someone special. I only say this as a person with LOTS of experience.

It is really hard to find a decent person, who truly cares about you, when you feel like a POS. Those who do suffer from major low self-esteem, like myself, have a tendency to attract people who really don't give a hoot about anyone but themselves (opposite of myself, come to think of it).

[hamster-bamster]

I do not think that a doctor would be any better than a combination of PC and PubMed. Medicine, and psychiatry especially, is a matter of trial and error. Doctors do not have a crystal ball. The side effects of any given medication are unpredictable. Doctors cannot predict which medication would case SSE (sexual side effects) that OP desires. Only trial and error would show what medication produces SSE in OP. As for the rate of SSE's in clinical trials, those can be obtained via PubMed or general web search.

Usually, people try to avoid SSE's. To desire SSE's is highly unusual, so I can see how someone would pose this question to an anonymous audience on the internet rather than his GP.

Originally Posted by Pigg

That's exactly what I am doing, actually.

You ought to stop that immediately.

Finding a sex partner isn't exactly a simple, straightforward thing for many people.

It is, actually. You must have something they consider valuable. Perhaps this is a personality trait or emotional and financial stability. All three would be nice. Bottom line is, you have to make yourself desirable. ***** yourself out, essentially.

And, for what it's worth, women are not interested at all in your jokes and small talk when they ask you about yourself. They're simply fishing for information that would indicate whether or not you'd make a suitable partner. But don't let them know that you know this; just make sure that you give them the information they're looking for without making too many bad jokes.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Pigg

But not being ugly is an absolutely necessity.

Oh, you are grossly mistaken about that. Even for a woman, and especially for a man, being ugly can be OK. Specifically, I have known two lovely, funny, smart, sociable, and outrageously charming male software engineers as colleagues. Both were married with daughters. I am mentioning them because you are pursuing a degree in software engineering.

So, fear not.

I also must say that you are extremely naive for a 27 year old. Maybe this is just because you are a geek, I am not sure, but by 27, most people realize that there exists a wide variety of tastes and preferences. You somehow hold very rigid and inflexible beliefs about the unattractiveness of hairy chests, the necessity of being handsome, etc.

My late grandmother was a brunette. When she was a little girl, she somehow got the notion that in order to be marriageable, a young woman needed to be blonde. She decided that she would have to remain a spinster. She held that weird belief for awhile, but eventually outgrew it and got married at 19 having selected from a number of proposals.

You have not outgrown your weird beliefs yet. It is time to.

[hamster-bamster]

Also, most people wanting to ask your question, if we can talk about "most" in this situation, would phrase it differently.

NOT "Physiologcal Effects of Involuntary Celibacy"

BUT "Is not having a sexual partner harmful to health?" or something along these lines.

You definitely have an advanced vocabulary, which is good for taking the GRE Verbal, but if you talk this way with women, you might be scaring them off, and that just might me way more detrimental than hair on your chest. Plus, for the most part, unless you are a beach boy, women do not know about the hair until pretty deep into a relationship. Since you pursue a CS MS, I doubt that you are a beach boy...