Feeling I really miss out and still live like a child as I´ve never had sex.

I´m 30+ years old and because of insecurity issues and also reasons I really can´t specify I´ve never been in a relationship nor have I had sex. I feel that I really miss out on something. I spend part of my summer at my moms (I don´t have any disabilities or such) and I feel like a real looser by doing so. It´s not normal living partly as a child, not ever spending time more closely to another adult and by that I don´t mean only sex but a relationship.

As I have this insecurity and "unknown" reasons why I ended up like this for me it´s not about just getting out there and I don´t want anything casual or just chatting away with men. My T knows about this but I don´t think she knows how to handle my issues and as I feel that way I feel it´s not of much use to talk to her about this. (I can´t switch T:s, see my other threads.)

Years pass by and I just feel stuck and lousy. I´m not overweight or such.

(((HUGS SARAH)))
I'm in my 30s and understand how u feel about being part child. Due to childhood stuff..some idk either. I have some sort of dissociative/ptsd/other cmplications mixed bag of dxs but my psych team has never really been able to concretely accurately narrow down the list and over the yrs the confusion and failed depression treatments got me to a place where I am almost 100% isolated from any social interactions and the child part can't detach from me and therefore I can sound look and act like an adult, but function like a scared dependent child hiding from everything loud and scary. ...My experiences with relationships is very different tho. One of my fractured pieces did become predominantly sexually in teen yrs....I was in no way ready for any of that and over the yrs more retrauma and dissociation got worse. I am married now actually, but I think he really just got stuck with me in the bargain I do love him he is my bestfriend an spent yrs trying to engage physically w/ him but it just drove me more into my child mind and I've finally just had to let go of any semblance of control I thought I had. And accept that I am too stunted and repeat trauma..only able to be held like a child and maybe a tiny peck but mostly I turn cheek..comfort of security hugs is all I can tolerate. Things are not good right now, but when it works....I miss out on at least half of our lives together. Weird as it sounds, I am living a double life w/ one partner. He gets her or me but I can't be part of them....so in some way I feel you are blest. I'd like to think that if the teen -when I met my so never happened..maybe then when I met him..he could have helped me grow.. so I guess what I'm saying is I hope for you that your path leads to growth and deep true loving intamacy...I truly believe we all have someone out there that is really right for us... if my path was like yours..I would maybe have taken time to really get to know all of myself first and when the right person for you comes along, u will be able to clearly identify your needs and pace to feel secure b4 attempting anything physical...and if they are the right one they will understand and love you for everything thing you are and maybe you can find home ♡... Idk if that makes any sense but I dream in fairytales and still truly believe in happily ever after...

I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm in a similar situation as you are. I'm also in my 30's. It's very difficult to live this way as I missed out on alot growing up as well. Long story and just too hard to talk about. I don't have any advice to give you. I'm very sorry. All i can say is that I hope things work out for you.

I am 27 and have only had sex once (at age 23) - it was dissatisfying on both ends however. I feel like it's really difficult to get into a relationship now and I don't even know how it works honestly. I don't really have anybody to talk to about these things. I know I'm not helping and don't have much advice myself, but I understand that stuck feeling and maybe with time we can all progress/move forward. I am staying positive. I hope things turn around soon