[Yismymindblank12]

So I'm meeting up with a very gorgeous woman tomorrow whose mentoring me and introducing me deeper into the BDSM lifestyle.

I'm not sure what she's wanting specifically, it's a bit too vague to tell. I can't really read her yet for what that is, but I've kept an open mind. I've wanted to get into this before secretly from most people in my life would never associate me in that.

I'm usually dominant all the time and I like pleasing the other person before myself always. So I'm getting it's platonic, I'm completely ok if our training is platonic, and kept into our scenes/sessions, but in the long term it's too early for me to guess what she has in store for me.

I've had experience for it before, but never met the right person who be into it. This woman knows what she wants how it's going to go, and I'm not questioning it, I trust her fully she's good in her skill.
I'm very sex experienced, but always wanted to be introduced, so she's a perfect match for me. Also she's a couple years older than me, so it can create a unique dynamic for me. I'm excited being a sub, because I've wanted to be a bottom for awhile.

Being the one who is forced down has always been a turn on for me, by a girl. So I don't know what to think. I'm excited a sub is going to be a great experience or slave..

[Douglas MacNeill]

Originally Posted by Yismymindblank12

So I'm meeting up with a very gorgeous woman tomorrow whose mentoring me and introducing me deeper into the BDSM lifestyle.

I'm not sure what she's wanting specifically, it's a bit too vague to tell. I can't really read her yet for what that is, but I've kept an open mind. I've wanted to get into this before secretly from most people in my life would never associate me in that.

I'm usually dominant all the time and I like pleasing the other person before myself always. So I'm getting it's platonic, I'm completely ok if our training is platonic, and kept into our scenes/sessions, but in the long term it's too early for me to guess what she has in store for me.

I've had experience for it before, but never met the right person who be into it. This woman knows what she wants how it's going to go, and I'm not questioning it, I trust her fully she's good in her skill.
I'm very sex experienced, but always wanted to be introduced, so she's a perfect match for me. Also she's a couple years older than me, so it can create a unique dynamic for me. I'm excited being a sub, because I've wanted to be a bottom for awhile.

Being the one who is forced down has always been a turn on for me, by a girl. So I don't know what to think. I'm excited a sub is going to be a great experience or slave..

Explore the situation carefully with her.
Having said that, almost everyone who is into
that scene will recognize some version of:

Green [light]=yes, yes!
Yellow/Amber=I don't feel right/I'm not sure about this....
Red=Stop! Don't ask why, just stop, d*mm*t!

If she's at all ethical in her conduct re: BDSM, she
will both recognize the idea and act accordingly.

[Patagonia]

I hope you also know that the word "mentor" in the BDSM world really means No contact!!
Sexually speaking.
Also YOU ask to be mentored! A mentor never asks you.
That's a red flag in my opinion.

So what is involved? Is there a verbal or written contract? Is this person vetted? Known in the community?
IMHO there should be no play before boundaries are in place.

This is where eager beavers get really hurt.
Hope this helps!!

Originally Posted by Patagonia

I hope you also know that the word "mentor" in the BDSM world really means No contact!!
Sexually speaking.
Also YOU ask to be mentored! A mentor never asks you.
That's a red flag in my opinion.

So what is involved? Is there a verbal or written contract? Is this person vetted? Known in the community?
IMHO there should be no play before boundaries are in place.

This is where eager beavers get really hurt.
Hope this helps!!

I don't know any of that stuff. I guess that is why I don't feel comfortable with it as a lifestyle. More of a personal thing between two lovers.

[Patagonia]

It is definitely a lifestyle that is hidden to most. It needs to be studied before it's entered.

Problem is some hear about it & leap in which can cause damage to both sides. The new person can get hurt & the community also gets a bad reputation.
There's bad people everywhere.

[Patagonia]

This excerpt is from the glossary section of the FetLife website.

Mentor: A trusted adviser or counselor to someone who has already gained basic knowledge and experience. A mentor is a person who has considerable knowledge and experience and usually, in the eyes of the mentee, substantial wisdom. It is widely agreed that a mentor should be on the “same side of the slash” (Dom/Dom or sub/sub). Most people also feel that a mentor does not approach people with offers to mentor them. A mentor does not train, teach or play with the person they are mentoring. A mentor provides advice and suggestions and, for the most part, encourages and recommends resources for their mentee to use in a process of self-learning. This title/role is subject to much abuse on FetLife, by (mostly) dominant males who approach (mostly) female submissives with offers to mentor them as a way of seeking a D/s relationship, or simply sex, with them. Many of those who work to assist new people with safe entry into BDSM warn newbies against all who offer to mentor them because of the prevalence of ulterior motives among those who make such offers

Originally Posted by Patagonia

This excerpt is from the glossary section of the FetLife website.

Mentor: A trusted adviser or counselor to someone who has already gained basic knowledge and experience. A mentor is a person who has considerable knowledge and experience and usually, in the eyes of the mentee, substantial wisdom. It is widely agreed that a mentor should be on the “same side of the slash” (Dom/Dom or sub/sub). Most people also feel that a mentor does not approach people with offers to mentor them. A mentor does not train, teach or play with the person they are mentoring. A mentor provides advice and suggestions and, for the most part, encourages and recommends resources for their mentee to use in a process of self-learning. This title/role is subject to much abuse on FetLife, by (mostly) dominant males who approach (mostly) female submissives with offers to mentor them as a way of seeking a D/s relationship, or simply sex, with them. Many of those who work to assist new people with safe entry into BDSM warn newbies against all who offer to mentor them because of the prevalence of ulterior motives among those who make such offers

I was on that site for maybe 2 weeks during a manic period. Not my thing. I only allow someone to do what I allow them to do. Ex-b. i never had a safe word.

[Yismymindblank12]

Nvm. It didn't happened good thing. This ***** wanted a pay check. Nothing more to add. I'm not crying over it. Don't over analyze this post, but thanks for the advice.