self esteem/promiscuity

I didn't know which forum to post this in, but I thought maybe the self esteem forum wouldn't like a sex post, so I decided here instead.

I read once that women with low self esteem are the ones who tend to sleep around and be promiscuous. I didn't really understand that, but now I do.

I've only been with one person physically, but I was also involved in a semi-relationship long distance, and both of these people expressed to me they had no interest in me in a romantic way, but they would/did have sex with me. I guess I was stupid to assume up front that the guy I had sex with liked me, but we were "involved" for several months, so I guess I just thought wrong. I finally got so fed up with being confused about what was going on that I told him I liked him, and he said he only liked me as a friend, and then after that we didn't really talk/see each other at all anymore. The other guy was, well online, and he DID actually like me/care about me a lot at one point, but now it's nothing, but we still talked as friends for a long time, and just recently I told him I still had feelings for him, and he told me he "couldn't" have feelings for me, but, to put it frankly, he said he'd still have sex with me if we could. I was incredibly hurt. The guy I did actually have sex with, well I was hurt since I don't just run around having sex with people, but I ddn't have an extensive past with him, and this online guy I have known for years and years, and I thought he at least cared about me as a friend, but also since he said that he'd still have sex with me but he didn't like me, we have barely talked at all, so I guess that friendship is over too.

I hope that wasn't too confusing or long. I guess the point is, I'm really messed up about sex now. I'm young (22) but I feel like I'll never meet anyone who will really want to be with me in a relationship and not just for sex, so now I've been feeling recently that I might as well just go have sex with whoever because no one will ever really care about/like me anyway. In my head I know it's wrong, but I also did feel a lot better about myself when I was in those two "relationships" (they were at different times) because I at least felt like someone wanted me, even if it was just for a little while. Yeah I'm sad about them now, but I don't know. I don't really know what I'm thinking. I don't necessarily want to go out and become promiscuous or anything, but finding a real relationship just feels impossible at this point, so I don't know what to do. I don't really know how to meet people, I guess. I'm incredibly shy, and I don't really like to go out to clubs or parties or anything.. I'm just really sad and lonely, and I guess I don't really know what it feels like to be cared for in a romantic relationship, all I know is what it feels like when someone wants to have sex with you.

I don't really know what the point in this is, and I'm sorry it's really long. Thanks for reading anyway, if you do.