NEED HELP ASAP!

Okay, heres the issue.

I am a 20 year old male, and have been heterosexual all my life. I had one year long (plus a couple months) and a 3 year relationship. The three year relationship was really traumatic for me. the three year relationshup i had sex about 3 times a day with her/masterbated a lot. I have never masterbated to homosexuals nor had a homosexual experience, but i cant get the thought of men out of my head recently lately i have seemed to be less attrated to girls including the sight of girls in panties/etc. but still love women i think. I dont know if my heterosexual orientation (which i used to LOOOOOOVE women) has changed, or if i am just letting it in my head or whatever. I usaully am never aroused by these thoughts but its like a slight curoisty/attraction all of a sudden, and my attraction to women continues to fluctuate. When im out in public however, im really never attracted to me, and find the thought of being a homosexual something that i dont want nor have any desire to do.I really dont want to be gay, nor to hook up with a man, i dont want to ever! I continue to think about it and check up on it, and these thoguths have gotten worse all summer. I also thought that that much sex could cause a drop in my sex drive, as i have felt generally less horny towards women but then go through lots of attraction to women when i dont ejaculate for a while. what the heck is going on with me! WHAT CAN I DO!!!!! I WANT THESE THOUGHTS TO STOP!!!!!

May I ask? - when you masturbated was it with the help of porn? and if yes, did the site of naked men stir you any?

... please know if the answer is YES it does not make you any more gay that I am and I can get stirred by a picture a of naked woman with a man or alone.

2nd Question....... Do you think your subconscious is turning toward males for your heart is afraid of being hurt again? - and remember - the last person that hurt your heart was a female.

no, i have never masterbated to any guy or anything like that. It was always straight porn, etc. i have never even had ANY homosexual thought,. and when i was still with the girl, which was about until last week, these thoughts had occured. I really dont want to be gay, and have always been attracted to women. I do watch a lot of porn, so could any of this like just be flashes in my mind from all the porn. I dont knwo. Is this just a phase, but i know my sexual orientation was as striaght as could possibly be up until about a month ago.

The porn viewing mixed with the wounded heart could be related to this problem...... they could be scrambled together in your mind and the mind is dealing with it the only way it can right now - to attach / connect to one of the sexual images that once gave you pleasure but did not break your heart.

... trust me this can happen for I have been there done that.

hey i first before posting wanted to thank you for your help. anytime you need it, i can help as well- anytime.

i believer taht could be a problem. also, do you think that could count for me losing my attraction gradually towards woman as the relationship got worse?

like i have no romantic feelings towards a man or anything at all and cant imagine like looking another man in the eye and saying "i love you" or whatever, cause thatd be really strange!

lastly, do you think that its possible my sexual orientation changed? could i have been straight all this time and gay now?

I think it is possibly to loose interest in the opposite sex if they are always hurting you in matters of the heart..... and remember that SEX is 90% in the MIND.

And Yes - it is possible that you might have been gay all along, but hid it well, only you can really decide that for sure - what were your early feelings toward sexuality and people?

Also please know that just because you find the opposite sex attractive or become aroused by them when you view them naked does not mean you are gay....... its just human nature and proof of how society has effected us sexually.

My early feelings have always been towards women, both in a relationship capacity and a sexual capacity. So i dont think its possible that i never realized it, and then suddenly i find out that im gay, yet have NEVER had attraction for another man., i dont believe thats possible, is it? WIll this porn/hurt image go away with time or what should i do to get these things to stop. im ocd'ly obsessing over these feelings so that could just be out of fear?! i lose attraction sometimes for the opposite sex in some ways but then it comes back and i think im fine then i feel screwed up again and its like a viscious fluctuating cycle.
Thank you again for your hel

Any addiction that has been caused by porn viewing can be helped and some times solved with starving the eyes so the mind does not have any sexual images to process..... keeping in mind that one will emotionally bond to what they see when they have a sexual release - this is referred to as Sex Glue.

You can also try wearing a rubber band around your wrist and snapping it each time your mind allows an unwanted thought, sexual desire or image into your conscious mind..... keep in mind that it takes a good 30 days to start the process of re-programing the mind.

From my own personally experience in this area and with you telling me that you do not think you are gay - I would say that this is an event in life that will pass as you work on the inner wounded source of it - as I had to do.

FYI - I sent you an article in PM so I would not have to alter it in any way for the open forum.

Big Question Here

Where you ever sexually abused as a young child? - if Yes, by male or female.

You do not have to answer right now if it is uncomfortable............. just asking as to help.

you are a godsend!, i do not think i am gay, because the fact that i have never been in a sexual gay experience nor even masterbated to it, nor really had an erection from it, might mean that i am probably not gay, also my early feeligns were all towards woman. there is a slight arousal and thats frealking me out, but everything that goes on is in my head mostly and i have never done anything or anything like that.

I guess i just fear being gay and sometimes think about it with some slight attraction but have never masterbated nor become erect nor anything of that sort.

never. I have a healthy relationship with my parents, with the natural problem that comes from being a 20 year old guy with parents as in we argue naturally from time to time, and have had minor issues with my parents, but never was abused sexually or anything like that.

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rotosurvivor1 said:
never. I have a healthy relationship with my parents, with the natural problem that comes from being a 20 year old guy with parents as in we argue naturally from time to time, and have had minor issues with my parents, but never was abused sexually or anything like that.

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That is good to hear and I know and understand first hand what you are talking about there with your parents for I am the mother of a 23 year old son (and) another son that will 18 soon.... we may argue at times, but we love each other much.

Just remember that feelings and occasional sexual stirring does not mean you are gay - if that was true then I am bisexual - which I am not. ((( hugs )))

these thoughts keep getting stronger and more intense and im absolutely scared as hell because my whole life i was 10000000 percent straight!.

WHAT CAN I DO!?

I have worked thru this issue and so can you - just make sure to start controlling what your eye sees and what you let your mind entertain once the thoughts comes up (and how long it stays around - thinks of some thing else ASAP & snap that rubber band).

Read my post on anxiety HOCD recovery, see if that sounds like you.

the post a bit sounds like me, i dunno it seems so hardcore in my mind and thenlike its the worse it gets the less attracteed i am to having sex with women and it seems so terrible in my mind.

Thanks for the shout out, i apppreciete all these ideas.

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rotosurvivor1 said:
the worse it gets the less attracteed i am to having sex with women and it seems so terrible in my mind.

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Maybe having sex with women again could be part of the solution......... or does the thought of it just gross you out right now?

i think so, like i do that it gets better for a couple days, but its like, and i watched porn prob twice a day for awhile, striaght porn, that like the vagina suddenly looks so strange and like foreign to me, its like it doesnt attract me recently all of a sudden even though i know the feeling underneath, but for YEARS i had attraction to it so like i mean i think i would have known before then if there was something up. Could i just sexually need a break, like i have moments of attraction to women but then i think about it and it all of a sudden looks so strange to me.

im absolutely scared as all hell, but i think this might just be mental. I dont know. ive started asking questions like, why am i attracted to women, etc. that might be the HOCD or whatever its called.

i thank everyone for theyre help especially you RHAPSODY . everytime i read these things it helps me.


Please help! ASAP!

again really quick just wanted to say that everyone who contuinues to post to this has helped me more than you could ever know. you guys ive never met you people but you feel like good friends. thanks again everyone who continues to help me...