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#1
Dec 24, 2016, 12:52 PM
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Hi everyone, so my boyfriend and I have been together for a year, and I love him to pieces, but his fetish makes me sick. He is ashamed of his fetish, and thankfully doesn't ask me to do it but sometimes I see his browser history and find that he's still looking at this kind of stuff and it makes me sick to my stomach. I don't know what to do I've told him if it's that bad to stay away from it but I guess he hasn't. I love him but this is getting to be too much for me.
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 Anonymous37907, Anonymous48690, Crazy Hitch, LadyShadow, Skeezyks, xRavenx
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#2
Dec 24, 2016, 03:01 PM
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Hello MindlessSoul76: I'm sorry you find yourself to be in this most difficult situation.
 Fetishes can be extremely difficult to deal with it seems. I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks!  May the time you spend here be of benefit. 
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#3
Dec 26, 2016, 10:15 PM
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Well are you comfortable telling us what it is?? I kinda had to deal with the same thing with my bf and it bothered me for awhile. I don't want to go into detail here but feel free to PM me if you need to talk.
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 Virneto
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#4
Dec 30, 2016, 08:20 PM
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What is it exactly, if you don't mind us all asking? Curious minds want to know, if that's okay. Kinks and fetishes can be pretty different (I have my own that I'm sure are gross to others, I've learned to accept and respect that). It's all about communication, even if there is no participation.
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| NewSmoke15, Virneto
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#5
Jan 01, 2017, 04:28 PM
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People tend to be compulsively and relatively uncontrollably drawn to paraphillias. If you can't deal with him looking it up on the internet then your relationship probably isn't going to survive.
If it bothers him substantially then therapy may or may not be potentially beneficial |
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#6
Jan 02, 2017, 06:54 AM
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Fetishes and Paraphillias are intensely personal in their nature and I don't think shaming is the way to deal with it. having been in a similar place to your bf, I know it just made me obsess more.
It's difficult to Gage just how to reply with out knowing what it is he is fantasizing over, but I am going to second what phreak said and add that it's better he learns to deal than deny. I really do wish you both all the best. But be honest about if this is something you can live with if he is unable to address just now.
__________________
I Don't Care What You Think Of Me...I Don't Think Of You At All.CoCo Chanel. |
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#7
Jan 18, 2017, 04:10 AM
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I don't understand why he has "to deal" with his fetish & shame is brought into the picture!
Obviously it's something the OP doesn't even wanto share & admits "it makes me sick." Wow what a great supportive thing to say to someone you "love." If you can't deal get out! Then people wonder why fetishes bring shame!
__________________
"Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
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