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Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 199
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#1
Hi, so I'm 16 and I've been dating this guy, I've known for him for two years, for five months.. I'm just now experiencing a challenge or many conflicting thoughts.. first off: he's planning his entire future around me I am his "world" and he's seriously considering moving in with me and marrying me. I constantly bring up my priorities and college and his need to be true to himself and following his own path but he even told my best friend these plans.. secondly: he has no respect for women whatsoever and I think he's just in it because I'm a pushover and have a hard time saying no and even when I do he doesn't listen. He crosses boundaries and ignores my values but my biggest problem is he either has a serious mental illness or he's just that devoutly in love with me. And finally: I know this may come off as rude but I am forced to Live off of high educational standards which means all As and Bs no exceptions. I spend hours working on homework and projects and he doesn't even try.. he's always out doing something or fixing something and is to my knowledge most likely failing one of his classes. He constantly gives me crap for working hard and complains about me not talking to him (mind you I just had major surgery two months ago and I'm working on school in my home). Thus getting me in trouble. I don't think I can stand this much longer, do you have any advice?
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Anonymous37955, Anonymous50284, woe-be-gone
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Legendary
Member Since May 2010
Location: Cape Town South Africa
Posts: 11,937
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#2
Lose him.
Honestly, that's the best advice I have for you. Too many red flags and not enough concentration span to point each one out, but if he's crossing boundaries and not even trying to be supportive of you reaching your goals for your education and ultimately your future, then that alone says to me he is not someone you should be wasting your time on. Seriously, lose him, you can do so much better, and deserve so much better. |
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AHeartOfRuby, Hobbit House
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#3
If you cant stand him i think the best thing would be to get rid of him. He does not sound like a nice guy at all. And you're way to young to be committed into marriage. Stick up for yourself, dont let him push you around!
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AHeartOfRuby
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Member
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 199
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#4
All I keep thinking about is my mother and how rudely she'd respond to this.. she doesn't understand and I fear her.. and then there's everyone always saying "you're such a cute couple" it's like a stab in the heart.. I constantly try to change him but I just feel trapped..
__________________ I am not my illnesses there is more to life than a diagnosis or lack of you are never alone . |
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: VA
Posts: 2,053
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#5
At 16 you have your whole life ahead of you. Sounds like you are very grounded in reality and your future. You don't need this! Tripping is right! Lose him! Immediately! He's only going to get more controlling over time. He is very immature and insecure. These are problems he needs to work out himself. I have a daughter who I wish had listened to this advice. Wishing you the best of everything!
__________________ “Then what is your advice to new practitioners”? “The same as for old practitioners! Keep at it “. Ajahn Chah Bipolar 1 PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Panic Attacks Parkinsonism Dissociative Amnesia Abilify 15mg Viiibryd 40mg Clonzapam.05mg x2 Depakote 1500mg Gabapentin 300mg x 3 Wellbutrin 300mg Carbidopa/Levodopa 25mg-100mg x 3 |
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AHeartOfRuby
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AHeartOfRuby
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#6
Your mom boyfriend friends and everybody has no right to control you like this. Its yours and nobody else's decision who you should date. If you break up with him people will get over it, and if they dont (like your mom) maybe its time to have a serious talk with them...
(Im sorry about your mom... I can relate… my mom is a very contolling and emotionally abusive person. Im sorry. ) |
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AHeartOfRuby
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#7
Focus on your study and future as you are rightly doing. He doesn't even seem to match your standards and ambitions. Give him what he deserves only, even if that means ignoring him completely.
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AHeartOfRuby
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AHeartOfRuby
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Member
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 199
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#8
I broke up with him.
__________________ I am not my illnesses there is more to life than a diagnosis or lack of you are never alone . |
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Anonymous50909, woe-be-gone
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Sad Mermaid
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Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Glasgow
Posts: 48
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#9
You are a step further in a beautiful and fulfilling life <3 Keep respecting and loving yourself
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Member
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 199
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#10
My best friend is now helping him get over our breakup after he stalked my sister and I today and I just feel alone again..
__________________ I am not my illnesses there is more to life than a diagnosis or lack of you are never alone . |
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Anonymous50909, Hobbit House, woe-be-gone
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2016
Location: U.K.
Posts: 1,090
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#11
You made the right choice, imho he wanted you to fail so you would be stuck with him.
He was interested only in his needs not yours. As for your best friend....hmm,beware He might attach to her in order to stay close to you. Stay focused on your ambitions, to often people throw away their dreams for those who don't deserve it . Take care and good luck. __________________ I Don't Care What You Think Of Me...I Don't Think Of You At All.CoCo Chanel. |
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AHeartOfRuby, Sad Mermaid
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#12
it sounds like you did the right thing, from reading your original post.
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AHeartOfRuby
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2016
Location: Sunnyvale
Posts: 548
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#13
you were courageous; stick to your guns
__________________ Dx: Bipolar I w/Psychotic Features Rx: Seroquel ER 550 mg, Depakote ER 1000 mg, Melatonin 6 mg, Atarax 50 mg. |
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AHeartOfRuby
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Member
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 199
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#14
He has been following me around during homeroom and today circled around me three times and sat at the lunch table next to mine.
__________________ I am not my illnesses there is more to life than a diagnosis or lack of you are never alone . |
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