never told anyone

So... I am a Christian. I have been masturbating since before I knew what it was. Back when I was only 12 I would stick tiny toys up my vagina and play around until I got the "sex fluid." Then I would walk around with toilet paper up there because I did not know what was happening, and I did not want wet underwear. I don't remember how I got started on this.
Sometime soon after, like within the year- I do not really remember, I started something else crazy. I wanted to see where my shower faucet would like tickle me most- it ended up being my vagina. So quickly I started masturbating there, practically every time I took a shower. I knew I probably shouldn't and was able to hold myself off many times, but I could just never quit the habit.
Then a friend and I were talking like a year and a half ago- she had been with MANY partners- and she was talking about masturbating. I told her what I did in the shower and she said it was a form of masturbating. That is when I first realized what I was truly doing.
She taught me how to masturbate without anything, and so since then, whenever I get really aroused- like once or twice a month- I go and masturbate. However, after every time I do it I feel guilty (remember, I am a Christian).
And I also do not like the whole masturating thing because like when certain things happen or like I see a certain scene in a movie, I want to masturbate, but being with certain people or having it be that time of the month, thankfully prevent me from it. I just hate that the idea os sexuality and masturbation pop into my head so easily.
They are not something I want in my life right now, and (for those Christians out there) isn't sexuality to be saved for after marriage and just with your husband, not just to FOOL around????


I mean, get me if I am wrong, but I just do not feel like a very good Christian, with pure thoughts.

So, I was just reevalutaing, and I guess the reason I shared is because I feel guilty and I guess I felt if I were to vent, it would be off my shoulders, since I will definitely not tell anyone in my physical, face-to-face life.

Yeah, I came to the conclusion that it is wrong... masturbating is all about pleasing self and fooling around, which are not of God. He holds sexuality as a good time between wife and husband.

Masturbating is just gross to me, and just as bad as porn. If it is not something I would want to share with anyone, it is obviously not right.

SO, great, just back to where I started... being mad at myself and not knowing how to get sexual thoughts off the mind.

Valbends~

I am sorry your going thru this. A couple years ago I came across a book called Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow & Lorraine Pintus. I found this in a Christian book store. I had become frustrated with how the sexual activity was going in my marraige.. still get that way sometimes. This book helped me alot on the issue your having. The Bible which is Gods word, is silent on this subject. Meaning its neither wrong or right to do so. This book says that if masturbation leads you into thinking adulterous things like fantasizing about other men/ women or if it becomes habitual to the point that it keeps you from having a sexual relationship with your spouse it is wrong. Otherwise its something that you need to turn to God about and search your heart to make sure this is what you need. Its a very good book IMO... really explains alot of things that we may have questions about pertaining to sex and intimacy and Gods thoughts on it . Hope this helps you out . TC ~

Don't be so hard on yourself. It is a normal thing in most adolescents and many people continue on into their adult years. You are not a bad person. It can be a habit that started out of curiosity. Maybe you really enjoy it. The Puritans were the ones that really were against all forms of sex outside of marriage. If you study the time period they lived in then you would have a better understanding of who they were and what they were doing. many were very perverted people that were troubled by their vices.

I have a degree in Theology, ThB . So, don't think I'm just typing to make you feel better. There is a historical record of events that happened and there is a natural carnal nature in all humans.

I believe it is ok to masturbate. you aren't married so you aren't doing anything wrong in that dept. you should save yourself for marriage but my belief is that means intercourse.

It's human and not immoral in anyway. Sex and masturbation are natural. You're just feeling dirty because somewhere along the line some one told you Christians shouldn't masturbate. You're giving yourself a hard time when you should embrace the fact that your sexual and have good libido. This is my opinion anyway.

Guess what? EVERYONE masturbates--babies, little kids, teenagers, adults, senior citizens. And guess what? Some of those EVERYONEs are Christians. Give me a break. God created us sexual, in God's image the Bible says. He gave me a penis and you a clitoris to make us feel good. Masturbation is not a sin.

Look at everything Jesus talked about in the Bible. He covers every topic concerning sin. He never mentions masturbation because it's not a sin. It's normal behavior in sexual beings. Adam and Eve masturbated and everyone ever since.

Masturbating alone helps you learn about your body and what please you. Someday, you will teach your husband just what you like and don't like. Believe me, he will appreciate knowing this because you're teaching him to be a better lover.

Christians masturbate. And if they say they don't, then they're lying, which is a sin. Give yourself a break. It's NORMAL!

I too am a Christian and I went thru the same thing you are feeling now, therefore, I am going to approach this issue from the side of a Christian that is having quilt from the pleasure that SELF GRATIFICATION is giving them.

First let me start off by informing YOU that no where in the Bible does it say that one cannot masturbate - all it says is to do ALL THING in MODERATION and to not LUST after another..... so if you are only parting of self pleasure just once or twice a month and with out the use of visual aid of any kind then I personally feel that you are not sinning against God.

Second - the only problem that might arise from this matter (but also may not) is that YOU may become so addicted to the masturbation that your body may later find it hard to become a roused with your partner (your husband).

Over all I would say to relax and to try not to get so upset or stressed out over this matter as it is not an issue against God - and if any thing the people in church that find it wrong comes about this ideal more out of personal preference than Biblical Law.

((( hugs )))

Ok so I have come to be ok with the idea of masturbation because I know God does not say we cannot do it. So I guess it is more of a personal issue. I mean, I guess I just feel gross afterwards with the fluid down there and stuff. Like I do not feel like I really get pleasure from it... it is just a habit.

If you are using it when you are stressed or emotionally upset them yes it could become a habit.... but them again many partners have sex to relieve the stress and tension from the day - so it cant be all that bad.

I also use to feel really guilty for masturbating (I'm a Christian and also have a degree in Biblical Studies). I've come to the conclusion that it isn't really wrong in and of itself, like someone above said babies and children do it too. I personally think I started doing it around 5. Had NO clue what I was doing. It just felt good and honestly I more used it for practicality's sake. Long road trips, pressing down there felt good, gave alternative feelings, and kept me from having to pee for longer periods of time. I think when masturbation is used to sin that it becomes a sin. If you are doing it and it makes you lust after others and commit adultery in your mind then it is wrong. If you are using it to ignore problems you are facing and making yourself feel better so you avoid seeking God's help, I think it is wrong. Also, if it causes you to not share this area/act with your husband than I believe it is wrong. All in all I think masturbation is often an appropriate and acceptable thing to do. If you are still worried about these emotional feelings and lust and the fact that your mind so easily wanders to this I strongly encourage you to read, "Every Woman's Battle" by Ethridge. It's a very good Christian book that can help show you where lines need to be drawn and helps people deal with the emotional aspects of these issues.

Try not to be too hard on yourself though, we are all human and fall short of the glory of God. All we can do is try to obey and better ourselves.