My husband likes a bit of sexual play and he likes to some kind of use me in bed. This is the word he uses... he says he wants me to feel used so that i am able to give pleasure to a man. He is my first partner so its hard for me to compare. I consent to this game but deep down i feel a bit ashamed and used for real.
He is gentle in other areas of life and a good friend but in bed he is a bit of a softporn person.
Its hard for me to separate intimacy from real life.
Also if i become a parent one day.. how will my child view this kind of sexual behaviour in the parents. I know kids are now very advanced but still...maybe i am being too naive or prude.

[metalchick]

No. You need to feel comfortable in what you are doing. And if you guys aren't on the same page, you need to tell him that this isn't working for you.

[Rive1976]

I agree with metalchick.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by emma345

My husband likes a bit of sexual play and he likes to some kind of use me in bed. This is the word he uses... he says he wants me to feel used so that i am able to give pleasure to a man. He is my first partner so its hard for me to compare. I consent to this game but deep down i feel a bit ashamed and used for real.
He is gentle in other areas of life and a good friend but in bed he is a bit of a softporn person.
Its hard for me to separate intimacy from real life.
Also if i become a parent one day.. how will my child view this kind of sexual behaviour in the parents. I know kids are now very advanced but still...maybe i am being too naive or prude.

your future children will only know what you tell them about your sex life, if you dont want them to know about your sex life you dont tell them, in fact in many locations parents discussing their sex life with their minor children is a crime. my point children are sometimes advanced but they wont know what you dont tell them about you and your husbands sex life.

not sure about your own religion and culture but in mine we have the right to say no. my suggestion is to figure out whether your religion and culture allows you to say no, also look up the laws where you are, then do what you feel is best.