This term completely fits me. I had an absent father and am pulled to dominant, confident men. I am conscious of the fact that I seek all of the things I do (wont list them all here) because of this issue.

My question is, is it a problem that needs to be fixed or is it natural?

[Fuzzybear]

This is a good question. I had an absent father too... and was engaged to an abuser for a while, he was dominant and (over) confident in some areas. If this issue causes you pain, therapy could help. I’m not sure what sort of therapy though (there aren’t many good therapists in this forest) Maybe you could try working with a male therapist if you aren’t already (?)

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

This is a good question. I had an absent father too... and was engaged to an abuser for a while, he was dominant and (over) confident in some areas. If this issue causes you pain, therapy could help. I’m not sure what sort of therapy though (there aren’t many good therapists in this forest) Maybe you could try working with a male therapist if you aren’t already (?)

I dont think I could handle a Male therapist. I could see myself developing feelings for them as they are a figure of authority.

[Bill3]

It is possible that developing the feelings in therapy would give you an opportunity to understand them and work through them. It would be essential, though, that the therapist be safe and have good boundaries.

Originally Posted by Bill3

It is possible that developing the feelings in therapy would give you an opportunity to understand them and work through them. It would be essential, though, that the therapist be safe and have good boundaries.

Well that's the thing. Safe and good boundaries. How can you tell really? I'm kind of a hot mess over all. I cling to dominate male figures. I feel like one way or another I would make a mess of things.

[Bill3]

So you would have no confidence that working with a male therapist would end well.

Originally Posted by Bill3

So you would have no confidence that working with a male therapist would end well.

It's just fear.

[Bill3]

I wonder if you have any significant (nonromantic) interactions with males now.

Originally Posted by Bill3

I wonder if you have any significant (nonromantic) interactions with males now.

I'm going to send you a PM.

[Miss P]

I feel and get this, so, so much. The men in my life (both in my family n those I went on to choose) are brilliant, but all f'd up in their own way. Hurt people, hurt people. No excuses, but unfortunately, the facts remain. Pm if you ever want or need