FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
6 144 hugs
given |
#21
Well I wasnt left there I just acted different so I wouldnt have to go in. That was the deal get better or in the orphanage I go. I just kept everything in. This next question is kinda graphic. I used to feel absolutely disgusted when my husband came in my mouth. I mean isnt that just what most woman feel anyway? The feel of it flooding my mouth was so gross.
|
Reply With Quote |
Veteran Member
Member Since Apr 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 738
13 30 hugs
given |
#22
I honestly don't know if there's really a reason behind it. I'm bisexual but currently married to a woman. When I dated (I dated quiet a bit back in college - both male and female partners) I just didn't like sex with men as much because semen just grosses me out. There's something about the feel, smell, and just look of it. I had a strict nothing in my mouth rule so I didn't taste it, but I imagine I'd be just as grossed out, if not worse. Nothing bad sexual or otherwise has happened to me growing up. I pretty much grew up a boring middle class life. I just honestly am grossed out by it period. Maybe there's no reason behind your dislike for it other than it just grosses you out.
Just my two cents... __________________ Morality plays on stages of sin -Emilie Autumn |
Reply With Quote |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#23
I can understand being disgusted by the oral sex with your husband - the end result specifically. You are right that many people find this disgusting and won't engage in it. Although, there are people who love it too, and people who just tolerate it, with a take it or leave it attitude. However, I don't think this is what triggered your repulsion/phobia and other obsessions. I think your issue goes way back to your childhood. This is where most of our issues begin, sometimes overlapping later traumas as well.
|
Reply With Quote |
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
6 144 hugs
given |
#24
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#25
Quote:
Feeling disgusted or repulsed may be more the end result of worrying that the body fluid is infected or contaminated with something, but what? A virus, infection, bacteria, something sinful or shameful, or something else? |
|
Reply With Quote |
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
6 144 hugs
given |
#26
People getting off from other peoples bodies is disgusting it really is. Very animalistic. I started feeling this way at the end of my marriage. I just got so annoyed that he wanted to get off on my body all the time. I wasnt disgusted when I wanted to get off though. Semen is disgusting because it looks kind of chunky, tastes bad etc but I think its that I find it germy mainly. When I first started having sex I didnt have these feelings. I was 17. I dont understand why they arised when I was around 8 years ago. I am 42 now.
|
Reply With Quote |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#27
Quote:
You told me earlier that this seemed to begin when your daughter reached the age of 7 or 8. So, it is possible that there is some connection between her age and painful memories from your childhood, and something about the sex with your ex-husband was the catalyst to begin whatever is going on here. I'm just guessing at this though. We know these things for sure: 1) You are disgusted by body fluids, mostly from the other person. 2) You feel that people using others for their own physical pleasure is animalistic. 3) You did not have the above feelings at the beginning of your marriage. 4) These feelings of repulsion began at the end of your marriage or when your daughter reached the age of 7 or 8. In my opinion, the best way to explore this is to first think back to your marriage, and find the trigger(s) that began all this. This is not easy of course. But maybe if you write down for yourself the chronology of how things went downhill in your marriage, and the feelings associated with this, every step of the way, then more might become revealed to you. Think of it as writing a memoir of your past marriage and how it went bad. How did you feel about him and what you experienced together throughout your marriage? How did it change over time? How did you feel when you became pregnant and gave birth to your daughter? How did your intimacy change over time in your marriage? Those are just examples to get started. Basically, I think you should work backwards in time, and this is a good place to begin, since something changed during your marriage and triggered these feelings of repulsion. Either they were uncovered from the past, or they were created during the marriage. |
|
Reply With Quote |
Rive1976
|
Legendary
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.6k hugs
given |
#28
Just wanted to say that I find semen disgusting too. I always have. Nothing from my childhood triggered it. I don't even want to see it, let alone touch it. And tasting it is the absolute worst. That's why I don't like giving oral sex (although I could handle it with a condom or if he didn't come in my mouth).
I guess part of it may be that I am a woman and didn't start having sex until late in life (I was 27 my first time). So I never really became familiar with a man's body and how it works. Also I am bisexual and honestly think I would prefer sex with a woman (although I can't find a woman who's interested in me. It's mostly straight men who have no clue about a woman's body). At any rate, I ended up with a guy who likes to give oral sex, but doesn't care to receive it or have intercourse (which is very unusual). I think he's impotent, although he has told me he isn't. Whatever the case may be, it works well for both of us. |
Reply With Quote |
Rive1976
|
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
6 144 hugs
given |
#29
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
Legendary
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.6k hugs
given |
#30
Yeah, it could be partly OCD.
I do think I'm more comfortable with a woman's body than a man's though. I don't like to look at men's genitalia at all. And I get nothing out of intercourse. I like that the guy I'm currently seeing always leaves his pants on when he gives me oral sex. |
Reply With Quote |
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
6 144 hugs
given |
#31
Quote:
Last edited by Rive1976; Nov 24, 2018 at 01:18 PM.. |
|
Reply With Quote |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#32
Quote:
Is it possible that you consider a man's body fluid and his enjoyment of you as the same repulsive thing? Did your husband's bodily fluid and facial expressions of enjoyment trigger the same feelings of disgust, or were they different? How do you feel when you watch porn and see men enjoying the women so much? How do you feel if their bodily fluids appear? Do you feel the same degree of disgust watching the porn men as you did when having sex with your husband? Or, do you feel something else for the men you view in the porn? |
|
Reply With Quote |
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
6 144 hugs
given |
#33
With the semen it was more of a contamination thing. Also to I just dont like the looks of it. With him enjoying it was mainly oral sex I didnt like him enjoying. It got on my nerves he enjoyed that so much like it was something he needed. When watching porn it doesnt bother me because its not me doing it so their enjoyment doesnt bother me.
|
Reply With Quote |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#34
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
Legendary
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.6k hugs
given |
#35
I don't like porn at all. I've only seen a few glimpses, and I am just not in to closeups of genitalia. I do get turned on by stuff like sex scenes in movies when I don't have to see everything.
|
Reply With Quote |
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
6 144 hugs
given |
#36
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#37
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
6 144 hugs
given |
#38
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#39
Quote:
The problem is that your mind is doing a good job, maybe too good of a job, hiding the actual memory, but letting you feel the pain of it - in the form of repulsion or disgust. Whatever is causing these negative feelings seems to be repressed out of consciousness, probably to keep you from being overwhelmed by it. I know this doesn't help, because you want to get to the bottom of this. Do you have any dreams or nightmares related to this? Or any kind of recurring nightmare? |
|
Reply With Quote |
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
6 144 hugs
given |
#40
Do I dont have any nightmares. I just get real irritated when someone acts like crackhead over something I am doing to them. They dont have any control. Maybe this is nothing and I just dont stupid faces s turn on.
|
Reply With Quote |
Reply |
|