Aversion to semen tw

People getting off from other peoples bodies is disgusting it really is. Very animalistic. I started feeling this way at the end of my marriage. I just got so annoyed that he wanted to get off on my body all the time. I wasnt disgusted when I wanted to get off though. Semen is disgusting because it looks kind of chunky, tastes bad etc but I think its that I find it germy mainly. When I first started having sex I didnt have these feelings. I was 17. I dont understand why they arised when I was around 8 years ago. I am 42 now.

I think that something happened to trigger these feelings. If you did not always feel this way, then either something triggered repressed feelings to come up from childhood or something happened during your marriage that upset you or repulsed you in a big way. It is most likely one of those things, and they are probably both connected in some way.

You told me earlier that this seemed to begin when your daughter reached the age of 7 or 8. So, it is possible that there is some connection between her age and painful memories from your childhood, and something about the sex with your ex-husband was the catalyst to begin whatever is going on here. I'm just guessing at this though.

We know these things for sure:

1) You are disgusted by body fluids, mostly from the other person.
2) You feel that people using others for their own physical pleasure is animalistic.
3) You did not have the above feelings at the beginning of your marriage.
4) These feelings of repulsion began at the end of your marriage or when your daughter reached the age of 7 or 8.

In my opinion, the best way to explore this is to first think back to your marriage, and find the trigger(s) that began all this. This is not easy of course. But maybe if you write down for yourself the chronology of how things went downhill in your marriage, and the feelings associated with this, every step of the way, then more might become revealed to you. Think of it as writing a memoir of your past marriage and how it went bad. How did you feel about him and what you experienced together throughout your marriage? How did it change over time? How did you feel when you became pregnant and gave birth to your daughter? How did your intimacy change over time in your marriage? Those are just examples to get started. Basically, I think you should work backwards in time, and this is a good place to begin, since something changed during your marriage and triggered these feelings of repulsion. Either they were uncovered from the past, or they were created during the marriage.

Just wanted to say that I find semen disgusting too. I always have. Nothing from my childhood triggered it. I don't even want to see it, let alone touch it. And tasting it is the absolute worst. That's why I don't like giving oral sex (although I could handle it with a condom or if he didn't come in my mouth).

I guess part of it may be that I am a woman and didn't start having sex until late in life (I was 27 my first time). So I never really became familiar with a man's body and how it works. Also I am bisexual and honestly think I would prefer sex with a woman (although I can't find a woman who's interested in me. It's mostly straight men who have no clue about a woman's body).

At any rate, I ended up with a guy who likes to give oral sex, but doesn't care to receive it or have intercourse (which is very unusual). I think he's impotent, although he has told me he isn't. Whatever the case may be, it works well for both of us.

The thing is, is I dont know if these is just Ocd. I didnt even know what semen was until I was 14. Then at 17 I had my first sexuaxl exprrience. I craved sex with my fiance at the time he always wore condoms but I did take showers immediately after if I could but I wasnt really obsessed with being contaminated. Then at the beginning of my marriage I wasnt obsessed with that at all. Then it was like a flip switched. I began freaking out if he touched me down there that he was contaminated parts of my body with my bodily fluids and his. Then I just started freaking out my daughter might touch his semen. I would put a sheet down. Limit certain contact and acts. It was a waste of time. A chore really. He barely ever took the effort to do anything for me unlike my prior fiance. I got tried of being begged for sex. I did not want him to make any facial expressions showing enjoyment but it was ok with me if I did. I used to make him cover his face with a pillow. Then other times I wanted him to say dirty things to me. It really hit me about 2 years ago that sex was really animalistic ( i have been sex free and divorced for 6 years) but I do watch porn sometimes. I am really all over the place. I have thought well maybe I would be better off with a woman but I dont really want to be a lesbian. I am attracted to women though. Since I was around 8 thats been the case. Its mainly mother figure types though. Counselors, teachers, etc. She thinks my mom may have abused me. Anyway I asked her about freaking out about my daughter touching my husbands semen. She said I could just be feeling overprotective of my daughter but why though?. Im so confused. Thanks for talking to me. You are really helping.

Yeah, it could be partly OCD.

I do think I'm more comfortable with a woman's body than a man's though. I don't like to look at men's genitalia at all. And I get nothing out of intercourse. I like that the guy I'm currently seeing always leaves his pants on when he gives me oral sex.

Yeah I think its partly Ocd too. I just dont understand why seeing someone enjoying me doing things to them or using my body disturbs me. But its ok for me to enjoy or see enjoyment on porn but not in real life. Makes me wonder what thats about but many people have told me on the site that just because you dont like something doesnt mean you neccesarily have had something to cause it. I dont get that.

First of all, I'm glad to help. I wish that I could come up with a definitive answer, but life never makes it so easy for us.

Is it possible that you consider a man's body fluid and his enjoyment of you as the same repulsive thing? Did your husband's bodily fluid and facial expressions of enjoyment trigger the same feelings of disgust, or were they different?

How do you feel when you watch porn and see men enjoying the women so much? How do you feel if their bodily fluids appear? Do you feel the same degree of disgust watching the porn men as you did when having sex with your husband? Or, do you feel something else for the men you view in the porn?

With the semen it was more of a contamination thing. Also to I just dont like the looks of it. With him enjoying it was mainly oral sex I didnt like him enjoying. It got on my nerves he enjoyed that so much like it was something he needed. When watching porn it doesnt bother me because its not me doing it so their enjoyment doesnt bother me.

If you are comfortable, please clarify something for me. What happens when you watch sex taking place in a porn film? How does what you see make you feel? Do you feel aroused watching the things in porn that caused you to feel disgust when you did them with your husband? This is important for us to understand.

I don't like porn at all. I've only seen a few glimpses, and I am just not in to closeups of genitalia. I do get turned on by stuff like sex scenes in movies when I don't have to see everything.

Well I am not married anymore but hope to be in a relationship soon. When I watch porn I do feel a little turned on. Mainly I just think about sex with my ex husband even though he is remarried. When we were married it annoyed me ( the contamination part, the begging for it part, the facial expressions like it was the best thing in the world) Make believe is fine.

Well, this is very complex. The porn turns you on to thoughts about your ex-husband, but only in a make believe way. Yet, actually being with him is what triggered the feelings of repulsion. I guess this makes sense in a way, since our fantasies edit out what turns us off and amplifies what most arouses us.

I just dont understand why his enjoyment would repulse me ( his facial expressions mainly)

It is difficult to know for sure. The look of enjoyment on his face possibly triggers a memory of something from your childhood that made you feel bad in some way, such as being exploited, used, objectified, humiliated, or something else.

The problem is that your mind is doing a good job, maybe too good of a job, hiding the actual memory, but letting you feel the pain of it - in the form of repulsion or disgust. Whatever is causing these negative feelings seems to be repressed out of consciousness, probably to keep you from being overwhelmed by it. I know this doesn't help, because you want to get to the bottom of this.

Do you have any dreams or nightmares related to this? Or any kind of recurring nightmare?

Do I dont have any nightmares. I just get real irritated when someone acts like crackhead over something I am doing to them. They dont have any control. Maybe this is nothing and I just dont stupid faces s turn on.

Some men and women respond to intimate pleasure with intense vocal and physical expressions. Some people have the opposite response as well, where you have no idea whether they are feeling good, bad, or nothing. Many other people are somewhere between those two extremes.

Let your next partner know that expressions like this bother you. Make sure that he is okay with this, before getting too involved with him, especially if physical intimacy is important to you and your potential partner.

As far as understanding your repulsions, I think there is something unconscious going on with you, most likely from your past, but it is hiding from view, probably to protect you from being overwhelmed. That is my impression anyway, but I could be wrong.

[QUOTE=NightNotes;6347278]Some men and women respond to intimate pleasure with intense vocal and physical expressions. Some people have the opposite response as well, where you have no idea whether they are feeling good, bad, or nothing. Many other people are somewhere between those two extremes.

Let your next partner know that expressions like this bother you. Make sure that he is okay with this, before getting too involved with him, especially if physical intimacy is important to you and your potential partner.

As far as understanding your repulsions, I think there is something unconscious going on with you, most likely from your past, but it is hiding from view, probably to protect you from being overwhelmed. That is my impression anyway, but I could be wrong.[/QUOTE

Thanks for all of your help!

You're welcome!

So basically what you need to do is find a way to make it comfortable. Use new underwares and plenty of things of over clean. We all have our ways when it comes to the issue of SA, this isn't a shameful way it is way of life so do what you gotta do to enjoy it while you can. At least, you can have sex imagine life without it.

I am not sure I was sexually abused.